Alex Casey talks to Maha Albadrawi and Lucy Zee about bringing New Zealand women’s stories to life in So This Happened. 

Every woman has at least one of those stories. Like gremlins, they often creep out at night in small circles over wine and cheese, more rarely over hushed coffees by daylight. Sometimes they are uproariously weird and funny, other times they need whatever the verbal equivalent of a trigger warning is and end in hugs and tears. We women share them in secret like trading cards, collecting and swapping in the hopes of somehow getting the ‘full set’ of how to cope with these experiences.

So This Happened, a new TVNZ original webseries, tries to set these same gremlins free by breathing life into New Zealand women’s stories of harassment. The brainchild of TVNZ creative producer Lucy Zee and marketing co-ordinator Maha Albadrawi, the two minute stories use animation to illustrate women’s first person experiences from casual racism to a rogue penis in public. They are honest, funny, frank and I breathed a sigh of relief to find out that I am far from the only person who has fallen prey to a rogue bus masturbator.

I met up with Lucy and Maha to talk about the project over wine in a little circle of our own. Here’s what we got through before things descended into looking at photos of Adam Driver and relishing in how funny White Chicks still is (do not @ any of us).

Why do you think women need to keep sharing these kinds of experiences?

Maha Albadrawi: When you’re younger you just don’t have the ability to make those kinds of judgements yet – you assume all adults are good. It’s not till late that you realise, ‘oh, that was not appropriate’. You can’t go back in time to punch someone, but you want to.

Lucy Zee: When we were younger, talking about sexual harassment wasn’t as easily accessible. So all this random stuff happens, you either don’t realise it’s happening or you don’t have any of the tools to deal with it.

MA: For me, I wasn’t actually touched or attacked so I didn’t know what to say or who to tell. I had an instance once where I was locked inside a building at uni late at night. The security guard came down and let me out, but then he tried to kiss me as I was leaving. I pushed him off and ran off. Afterwards, I didn’t know who to tell and I also thought I would be the one to get in trouble because I was there late. I wasn’t equipped at all.

So when did the inspiration strike to record these stories and get them illustrated?

MA: I was in the kitchen with a bunch of women and we started talking about times we’d been sexually harassed without even realising it. I had a story and the other girl had a story and everyone in the circle had a story. We went around and around and I realised that every woman I know has at least 10 of these stories.

I thought there was something in that idea of sharing these stories, so I ran to our creative director Amy Mills and straightaway she had a story of her own of something similar she’d experienced. I thought it would be interesting to animate these stories in 2D and she loved it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aMZnUoEoy8&t=2s

LZ: Maha brought it up in a meeting and got me on board straight away. The reason I wanted to be attached is because stuff happens all the time, but you tell your guy friends and they don’t believe you.

MA: People either don’t believe you or get uncomfortable and put their guard up when, actually, the dialogue should be as open as if you were having a glass of wine in the kitchen.

LZ: The best part is, when we talk about the project, everyone wants to contribute. That’s the best part for me, that more people want to talk. I want more people to realise this stuff happens everywhere, and the more we talk about it the more that people – and I mean guys here – will stop doing it and start calling it out.

On that note, how have men been reacting to the series?

LZ: A few of my flatmates watched it and were like ‘oh, shit, does this actually happen?’ They couldn’t believe it had actually happened, and they are aware now. I want men to think about what they would do if they saw something like that happen.

How did you balance more serious stories with the light-heartedness of animation?

LZ: We definitely didn’t want it to be like a serious wanky art film. I wanted to be able to tell these stories in a very palatable way, and there’s a fine line between making fun of it and also making it light enough for someone who isn’t as open-minded to accept it. We couldn’t think of a better way to do that than through animation. People are really scared to be confronted by a victim, I think.

MH: Yeah, we just wanted to get the stories and get it out there. Make it palatable, accessible and shareable.

LZ: For me, two minutes is long enough. I mean, two minutes is like a song. A good song should be under two minutes, I don’t want any ‘Enter Sandman’ bullshit.

What about the animation styles, how did you get each episode to look so distinctive?

LZ: I was adamant that I wanted women and non-binary people to animate the stories. Two of our animators are genderqueer, we wanted to see if we could get a full animation team of non straight white men. We could! My younger sister is in animation, and she always talks about how all the guys would get jobs before them. [The So This Happened animators] did such a good job, I also really wanted them to get TVNZ on their CV. Once you have that reference, it looks so good.

MH: It was a total collaboration – we knew nothing about animation or how long it would take. We worked closely with them, and it was all about being open and learning from each other. It’s also bringing in some freshness to TVNZ. Our animators were able to choose the stories they felt the most connected to, and however best they wanted to express it. We gave them three weeks to do it and they came back in two.

How did you go about sourcing the stories?

LZ: With the first round, we used stories that we already knew. When the series is released, we want to source stories from people across New Zealand. We’re ready to hear more because we are trying to create a dialogue. Share your stories with us.

MH: We tried to make it as comfortable as possible for the women, putting a little room together with a couch and just four or five of us girls. The thing is that, unfortunately, there’s no shortage of these stories. The only way to address it is to address it, and educate men that this happens.

What would you hope women in similar situations take away from So This Happened?

MH: There’s no toolkit for the microaggressions we have to deal with, but I hope women realise that they shouldn’t be shamed or demonized for what happens to them.

LZ: Yeah. What happened to you was real. What you felt was real. Also, we have unlimited internet now, we should have ways to deal with everyday sexism and racism. We put a man on the moon, you know? It’s time.

Click here to watch So This Happened on TVNZ OnDemand

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Alaister Moghan dives deep into the recesses of New Zealand cricket history to uncover the ballads and bangers to which our men in teal once entered the oval.

In 1999 sports science was still in its infancy. In my chosen sport of childhood focus, cricket, this was a time of naivety where ice bathing had yet to become common practice and design technology peaked with the mysterious Kookaburra ‘Bubble’ Bat, whose distinctive stickers alone were rumoured to add ten runs to your average.

Yet, left behind in this era of unfortunate teal-coloured uniforms (which would eerily predict the core elements of the Lockwood designed referendum flag) the brain trust of the CLEAR© Black Caps unearthed a powerful weapon – TUNES!

At the time, the power of music in sport was not in itself new. Tina Turner’s ‘Simply the Best’ convinced many a natural rugby fan to give league a go, while Rocky IV’s manic musical montages made it my go-to childhood choice to inspire a short spurt of vigorous exercise. Then, circa cricket season 1998/1999, the CLEAR © Black Caps – seemingly out of the (teal) blue – systematically unleashed a weapon which harnessed the power of sting selection as an all out audible assault on the touring Indian and West Indian teams.

On the 12th of January 1999, on the grassy banks of McLean Park, accompanied by my dutiful older sister, I saw my first ever live international cricket game: New Zealand vs India. Not only did I get to see my cricketing heroes and legends of the games in the flesh – the likes of Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid and Matthew Horne (with his distinctive but technically unsound head nodding pre-movement) but I also got a memento – the match programme. In it was the CLEAR © Black Caps team list, each player listed with their playing number and, most crucially, their music ‘sting’ which would accompany their entrance to the batting crease.

With the programme now lost forever in an attic in the suburbs of Raureka, for years I could only vaguely recall details, most notably Craig McMillan’s use of the incredible power and pun of Mark Morrison’s ‘Return of the Mac’ and Dion Nash further establishing his bad boy credentials by walking out to the Beastie Boys’ ‘Sabotage’.

So you can imagine my glee when the Twitter-sphere unearthed this gem from @elliottnz (via@TheACCnz):

Each sting selection could be an essay in itself. However, in the interests of your attention span I have grouped the music stings into five categories. Each category explores the sting selection from the perspective of culture, sports science and, most importantly, player intent.

Category 1: Word Play

‘Horny as Funk’ (Horne)

‘Return of the Mac’ (McMillian)

‘Sultans of Swing’ (Doull)

‘Bat Out of Hell’ (TBC)

The world is a strange place, and especially so in the late-’90s. But still, it beggars belief that a young professional cricketer, opening the batting for his country, trying to prove himself, gain respect and establish a career in one of the most difficult roles in a difficult sport, would choose to walk out to Soapy singing “I’m Horny, Horny, Horny, Horn / I’m Horny, I’m Horny, Horny, Horny tonight..”

That is unless you are Matthew Jeffrey Horne. As the collected titles of any ghost-written cricket biography will tell you, one of the foolproof ways to mark your name in the annals of cricket history (beyond having your name on the honours boards of Lords, an accomplishment also achieved by Horne) is to embrace the pun.

On the face of it, Horne appears to be subjecting the entirety of the 1999 McLean Park crowd to a punishingly bad novelty hit; in fact he is making a hilarious subtextual joke. This bombastic nightmare of sexual desire has a clever double meaning here: Matthew is not demonstrating that he is sexually aroused, but rather humorously playing on the double meaning of ‘Horny’, or ‘Horney’, his cricketing nickname.

Similar intentions were behind other song choices – Craig McMillian’s ‘Return of the Mac’ (as Craig ‘Mac’ McMillan yet again returned to the batting crease, most likely following another top order collapse), Simon Doull’s selection of Dire Straits’ ‘Sultans of Swing’ (Doull was a swing bowler and was also notorious for his aggressive lower order batting – always ‘having a swing’, so to speak) as well another player, whose name is now lost to the fog of memory, but who I remember cleverly utilised Meat Loaf’s ‘Bat out of Hell’ as he walked out to bat.

Category 2: Admirable Earnestness

‘Braveheart Guilt of A Thistle’ (Twose)

‘Eye of the Tiger’ (Harris)

In stark contrast to the punning players above, Messrs Twose and Harris didn’t take their sting selection lightly. Indeed, Twose’s pious facial expression while walking out to bat, accompanied by the mournful theme to Braveheart, may perhaps be the pivotal factor in his eventual rise to becoming the second best one day international batsman in the world by late 2000.

Look too, at the swagger of Christopher Zinzan Harris walking out to bat to Survivor’s stirring ‘Eye of the Tiger,’ carrying the mantle of the battling Rocky Balboa of New Zealand cricket. Surely this was a crucial aspect of Harris’ success, pivoting off a signature move: from a shaky start, a lower-order match-winning cameo replete with flowing cover drives.

Category 3: Bangers/Crowd Pleasers

‘Blue’ (Fleming)

‘Mambo #5’ (Astle)

‘Miami’ and ‘Return of the Mac’ (McMillan)

‘Song 2’ (O’Connor)

‘Kung Fu Fighting’ (Allott)

‘Walking on the Sun’ (Wiseman)

In an ever changing world some things remain the same: bangers, always bangers, please. While history may look cruelly on a number of these selections there is no doubt that in the late 90s these songs had massive popular appeal.

Wiseman’s choice is the most apt. With the threat of Y2K approaching, his choice demonstrates what the crowd really wanted: a hedonistic anthem for the pending apocalypse. In the words of Smash Mouth –

And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow 

But if the offer is shun, you might as well be walkin’ on the sun

Category 4: Attitude

‘Hey Boy, Hey Girl’ (listed as ‘Here We Go’ in the programme) (Parore)

‘Sweet Caroline’ (Cairns)

‘Scar Tissue’ (Nash)

‘People of the Sun’ (Vettori)

‘O Fortuna’ (Styris)

While the all-conquering All Blacks collected trophies, respect and national acclaim by the bucket load, their little brothers the Black Caps struggled to forge their own identity. This angst was expressed as a bad boy attitude (Chris Cairn’s nickname for a period of time was indeed ‘B.A’ (short for ‘Bad Attitude’) while Parore was known as ‘Mav’, short for ‘Maverick’ – a reference to Tom Cruise’s volatile protagonist in the movie Top Gun). The Black Caps’ “bad attitude” manifested itself in earrings, misbehaviour, questionable sunglasses and distinctive haircuts and/or facial stubble.

Forget The Kick – an entire mini series could be written about New Zealand’s infamous 1994/1995 tour of South Africa.

Without going into details and naming names, it can perhaps best be summarised by the New Zealand Cricket chairman of the time who deemed the behaviour of selected players as “endemic of a wider malaise that appears to have infected the game”.

Category 5: Bits n Pieces

‘Just Another Saturday Night’ (Spearman)

‘The Boxer’ (Stead)

‘Do You See What I See’ (Drum)

‘Paint It Black’ (Penn)

In some ways, this final category is the most quintessential to New Zealand cricket in ’90s. Forgotten and fleeting players Spearman, Stead, Drum and Penn, each of them highly successful domestic cricketers, had relatively forgettable international careers.

It’s perhaps not surprising that their sting selections are similarly unremarkable. The choices in this category is best left to the intimate community of cricket nerds who, alone, recall the highs and lows of the careers of these largely forgotten players.

The practice of systematic sting selection appears to have been abandoned at some point in the early 2000s. Music cues are these days selected by the cruel dictator known as ‘DJ A Hole’ by the knowledgeable Alternative Commentary Collective.

Shortly after stings were abandoned, A-Hole subjected a McLean Park crowd to his dad-joke sense of humour, blasting Abba’s ‘Fernando’ everytime Sri Lankan Fast Bowler Dilhara Fernando made an appearance or was hit to the boundary.

One can’t help but ponder, post-McCullum, is a reinvigorated sting selection programme the way forward for the Black Caps?

In this post-ironic world, can Kane ‘Steady the Ship’ Williamson still walk out to Nick Cave’s ‘Ship Song’ amplifying the emotion on the faces of proud Black Caps supporters as this nimble, hairy, well-mannered, batting genius makes his way to the middle?

While the authorities at New Zealand cricket focus on the apparent ‘big issues’ of the sport – international governance, the future of test cricket, drainage failures at McLean Park – sting selection languishes as a forgotten bullet point in the 2001 annual meeting minutes.

The situation has become urgent. Just like the careers of Chris Drum and Andrew Penn there is a distinct risk that the most vital issue of the all – the reinstatement of carefully selected, printed and distributed music sting selections for the New Zealand batting line-up – will continued to be ignored. That, my friends, would make me blue (da ba dee da ba daa).

Postscript: The author encourages any member of the public with any further information on Black Caps sting selection to get in touch with him on Twitter at @ajmoghan

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