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Pop CultureOctober 10, 2016

Getting owned at spelling by the cool teens of Spellbound

spellbound

The New Zealand Spelling Bee finals have made it to TVNZ 1’s Spellbound. It’s like a 3-hour long penalty shootout where you don’t want anyone to miss, writes Calum Henderson.

“Furlow. F-U-R-L-O-W.”

This is how I bow out of the finals of the 2016 New Zealand Spelling Bee. It is the third word of the first round.

Luckily I’m only spelling the words in my head, safe in the dark of the audience. Up on the stage, standing alone on a slightly-raised circular podium with bright studio lights beaming down on him, Christopher has nowhere to hide.

“May I have the definition please?” he politely asks pronouncer Owen Scott. Then “can you please use the word in a sentence?” He is 14 years old, a Year 10 student from Napier’s Taradale High School. He is somehow already taller and better dressed than me. And, it turns out, a more competent speller.

“Furlough,” he enunciates carefully. “F-U-R-L-O-U-G-H.”

There is an agonising pause as a trio of adjudicators, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in the center of a large Celebrity Squares-style grid which looms over the stage, exchange a series of important-looking nods. Finally one of them hits a button and the whole thing lights up green. Christopher breathes a sigh of relief and allows himself a tiny smile before turning and walking back to his seat. He is through to the next round.

Spellbound host Toni Street (Photo TVNZ)
Spellbound host Toni Street (Photo TVNZ)

The gut-wrenching tension and drama feels similar to watching a penalty shootout in soccer. So simple, so unforgiving: get one letter wrong and you’re out. In the US the Scripps National Spelling Bee finals are broadcast live on ESPN and unfailingly provide some of the best sporting theatre of the year, even if spelling is probably not technically a sport.

The New Zealand Spelling Bee has been going since 2005. Founder Janet Lucas, one of the three adjudicators in the Celebrity Square, got the idea after seeing the documentary Spellbound, which followed several contestants through the 1999 Scripps competition.

Sponsored by the Wright Family Foundation, it is open to Year 9 and 10 students who first complete a written test before the top 200 advance to regional semifinals. The top 36 spellers from around the country then progress to the national finals.

This is the first year the finals will be broadcast on television. In a pleasing example of circularity – or maybe just lack of imagination – the show, like the documentary, is called Spellbound.

Host Toni Street suggests two main reasons why spelling makes such compelling television: “It’s the different characters,” she explains, “and the complete pressure cooker they’re under.” While the format and execution of the two competitions are quite different, these two ingredients are as evident at the New Zealand Spelling Bee as they are in its big American counterpart.

The characters in the first semifinal range from cool, half-asleep Vishva to nervous, perpetually-jiggling Peter. Luke bounds up to the podium like a Golden Retriever puppy; Amy approaches it as if entering room full of ghosts.

As each one spells out their words – juggernaut, concierge, kitsch, battalion – the room holds its breath. We’re all nodding along with each letter, waiting and hoping everything will go green.


Spellbound airs Sunday nights on TVNZ 1 at 7.30pm

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Pop CultureOctober 10, 2016

Shortland Street Power Rankings: Rachel walks towards the light

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Tara Ward brings you her rankings for Shortland Street last week, including intense tent problems and the sad departure of Rachel McKenna.

1) Rachel walks towards the light

Just another ordinary week for our Rach: she got drunk, knocked down a wedding marquee and vowed to find herself. Before our tiny little brains could comprehend the ridiculous idea of a McKenna-free Ferndale, Rach gave Dr Love a cracker of a goodbye pash and waved a final farewell to Shortland Street.

Say it isn’t so, Rachel. We’ve spent 24 years glorious years together, and you just up and leave?

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Chris was so confused that his nostrils flared like the time Harry refused to put mayonnaise on his chips. If only Rachel had thought to find herself in a mirror – much easier, and far less dramatic. For crying out loud, she lived with Chris Warner, where no doubt every wall and ceiling is covered in a reflective surface.

Goodbye, Rachel. I hope you find yourself wherever you go.

2) Lucy and Ali say “I do”

Congratulations, love is amazing, what a beautiful couple, blah blah blah. Lucy and Ali’s wedding was less memorable for the pledging of their undying love (vomit), more for Rachel’s on the mouth congratulations to Lucy and her slurred – but surprisingly relevant – wedding speech.Seriously though, who doesn’t love a drunk stand-in mother at a wedding? And Rachel was HILARIOUS.

Seriously though, who doesn’t love a drunk stand-in mother at a wedding? And Rachel was HILARIOUS.

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3) Damo chucks himself in a frame

Best wedding present, ever.

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4) Millie returns and robs Drew of any remaining dignity

With the double loss of legends Leanne and Rachel, we’re left to endure Cam’s mind-numbing menu claptrap and the return of miserable Millie Hutchins. I will never forgive you for this, Rachel McKenna.

Yes, Millie Hutchins – she of the 2015 illegal boob implants and nutbag shooter father – is back. She arrived with a bag full of surly teen attitude and a dropkick boyfriend called Carlos, and departed with most of Drew’s electronics and Kylie’s pleather jacket.

Can Millie also go somewhere and find herself? K, thanks, bye.

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5) Whoever this muppet is

First he served Rachel nine million shots of vodka, then he sold her a tiny bottle of spirits to take to an alcohol-free wedding. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU BEARDED JUDAS.

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6) Harper touches base to leverage her workflow going forward

Harper threw herself astride the CEO throne so quickly that the sweaty imprint of Rachel’s butt cheeks had barely a chance to evaporate. Harper was hungry for power and management jargon, spending most of her day talking about how busy she was.

“I’m incredibly busy!” she barked. “We must fix the budgets going forward! If only I wasn’t so unbelievably busy!” It was a shockingly effective style of management until she got sick of it and resigned, telling forensic accountant Rajiv that he could “stick it”. David Brent would be proud.

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7) Chris has an intents experience

The collapsing wedding marquee was a metaphor for the Warner marriage: beautiful from the outside, but inside a cold and hollow abyss, with fairy lights that looked a little bit shit.

If Chris didn’t have a marquee phobia before this life-threatening canvas avalanche, then he definitely does now. I’m 84% sure I saw a single tear fall as Chris realised he’d never get to serenade the newlyweds with a heartfelt acoustic version of ‘Anchor Me’, let alone sort out the co-dependent crapfest that was his marriage.

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8) Curtis tries to light Ali and Lucy’s fire

You big softie, Curtis. Indeed, there’s nothing more romantic than starting your married life amid a fiery inferno of ylang-ylang and sandalwood. Gets me right in the feels.

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