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You and me both, Clayton.
You and me both, Clayton.

Pop CultureNovember 20, 2018

The Great Kiwi Bake Off, episode six: Cocks on pies

You and me both, Clayton.
You and me both, Clayton.

This week GKBO showed us what baking heaven really looks like: a cock on a pie. Welcome, ye olde roosters, to Pies and Tarts Week. Tara Ward power-ranks.

Oh GKBO, you spoil us. I thought nothing could reach the giddy heights of last week’s biscuit extravaganza, when we scaled the Eiffel Tower and bathed in the golden rays of a shortbread lighthouse. It seemed only fair that GKBO would peak on that pile of perfectly piped Belgium biscuits, that we had stood at the pearly gates made of gingerbread and sponge nubbins, looked inside, and witnessed paradise.

Our lucky seven bakers first challenge was to whip up a Linzer Torte, a mysterious dish that no-one but Dean and Sue had ever heard of. Turns out it’s a rich dessert with a delicate pastry base, tender jam filling and a spiced melting moment topping. “It’s a fancy berry tart,” said Stacey, which is why she’s won so many challenges. She cuts through the bullshit, chucks a sponge nubbin on top and calls it the Invercargill Water Tower, thank you and good evening.

The pie party continued with the Showstopper Challenge, where bakers created a sweet or savoury family pie with a creative pastry decoration on top. The bakers may have been quiet with concentration, but hosts Madeleine and Hayley were in their best form yet. I’d like to put those two national treasures in a pie, dust them in icing sugar and present them for judging, because they are the tastiest treat GKBO will ever bring to our televisual table.

Let’s gobble down this week’s slice of the GKBO power rankings.

ELMINATED: Clayton

You go hard, Clayton.

What will we do without Clayton? His elimination is a crime against pies, against television, against pies on television. This is a man who one minute quotes Steve Hansen, the next calls his meat pie ‘One Night in Bangpork’. I mean, we have a winner, New Zealand.

Sadly, Clayton was distracted by Joel’s advice to shut his pie-hole and focus on the baking. “I’d like to stop talking, but does a flamingo forget how to fly?” Clayton said, who spent a lot of time talking about his plan to stop talking. He chatted so much that his pastry didn’t puff and his pork didn’t pull and who knows what the dulce de leche was going on with that checkerboard topping, but it did not end well.

Pie Week was a game, and Clayton was beaten on the puff pastry checkerboard of life. Silent Clayton was a caged beast, a creative genius trapped inside a finely latticed prison of shortcrust pastry. Fly free, you fabulous flamingo.

6) Larissa

Me looking at any baked good, tbh.

Larissa adorned her legendary Tikka Masala pie with the finest pastry rooster you’ll ever lay your eyes on, thus baking her way into New Zealand television history. That cockerel was the double-entendre GKBO’s waited six glorious weeks for, and Larissa served it up on a platter. Who cares that Larissa ended up in the bottom two? With that bird in her corner, she can cock-a-doodle-do this.

5) Jeff

That’s not a cock.

Jeff joked about the “curse of the star baker” but please, Jeff, never joke about pies. A dodgy jam let him down in the Technical Challenge, but hold the phone, stop the bus, take me up la tour Eiffel because look at this golden thing of wonder that Jeff created. This blackberry pie masterpiece saved Jeff’s bacon, it saved his custard, it saved his everything.

4) Joel

After six weeks, the pressure finally got to Joel. He admitted to being in turmoil over whether his pastry would puff, and look how stressed the poor lamb was.

The most stressed Joel has ever looked on the show.

After his “helpful” advice to Clayton, is Joel’s relaxed demeanour just a cunning ruse? He might look like he gives zero forks, but maybe Joel is plotting his way to the final three like he’s a piece of roast kumara on a pastry checkerboard.

It’s a theory that falls over quicker than Sonali’s birdhouse of love, because Joel’s classic Chicken and Leek Pie with the fancy topping impressed the judges no end. If Hannah’s pastry could smell her fear, what did Joel’s pastry smell? Tranquility, probably, with just a whiff of nonchalance. Delicious.

3) Annabel

Annabel, I don’t know how these flavours could go together, but you’re a genius so I trust you.

Sweet pastry angel Annabel. Queen of tarts, dame of the oversized nozzle, legend of the fruity dessert. What more can we say, other than yes please?

2) Stacey

There are two more faces than people in this screenshot.

She slayed the Technical Challenge with a torte to end all tortes, and came but a wisp of flaky pastry away from winning Star Baker. It’s not every day you bake something that Dean Brettschneider calls “the bomb”, and our Stacey has her eye on the prize. And the pies. Mmm, pies.

STAR BAKER: Hannah

Hannah, mother of the nation.

Victory for soggy bottoms everywhere, after Hannah took out Star Baker with her family fave Chicken, Bacon and Pesto Pie. It was so delicious that the judges lost their ability to form words. “Mmm,” said Dean, and “mmm” said Sue, and honestly, never a truer word has been spoken.

Keep going!
My Brilliant Friend 
Elisa Del Genio, Ludovica Nasti. 
photo: Eduardo Castaldo/HBO
My Brilliant Friend Elisa Del Genio, Ludovica Nasti. photo: Eduardo Castaldo/HBO

Pop CultureNovember 20, 2018

My Brilliant Friend is handsome television – but is that enough?

My Brilliant Friend 
Elisa Del Genio, Ludovica Nasti. 
photo: Eduardo Castaldo/HBO
My Brilliant Friend Elisa Del Genio, Ludovica Nasti. photo: Eduardo Castaldo/HBO

It’s a story as old as time: a great book makes for a perfectly fine television series. Sam Brooks reviews My Brilliant Friend.

You know how when you see a photo of the Mona Lisa it doesn’t look that impressive? When you’re actually there in front of it – despite its suprisingly small size, despite the tourist throng around you – it’s a thing to marvel at. You get the beauty of it, in a way you never can from the reproduction.

It’s a similar experience when you’re watching a merely decent adaptation of a great piece of art. Your Les Liaisons Dangereuses to your Dangerous Liaisons, your Dangerous Liaisons to your Cruel Intentions, your A Star is Born to your… A Star is Born, I suppose. The original is there, on some level, but you’re watching the wrong version of it.

My Brilliant Friend is the first of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels, a series of four books following Lena and Lilu, two young girls in 1950s Naples, and the friendship that continues over the course of their lives. It’s a tale of women existing in a man’s world, and how their friendship saves them both from patriarchy’s worst assaults. The series has sold ten million copies around the world, been translated from its native Italian into a bunch of languages, and I can guarantee at least one of your aunts spent six months trying to get through the first one before giving up on it.

Luckily for your aunt, My Brilliant Friend (the entire series, actually) has been made into a very handsome television series, courtesy of HBO (you know who HBO is), RAI and TIMvision (two Italian channels you absolutely probably haven’t heard of).

When adapting a piece of work – whether it’s book to film, book to play, or movie to musical – there’s a choice the adapter has to make: do you stay reverent to the original work or do you distill its essence and go your own way? Without having read a single word of Ferrante’s novels, I can tell that this mini-series has gone the route of hands-and-knees reverence.

There’s no doubt that the series comes from rich source material – the reviews and legacy of the not-even-a-decade old book speak for itself – but we’ve seen countless great works destroyed by too-faithful adaptations. Adherence to stately, beautiful prose has killed many an adaptation, whether to film or television. Reverence can only take you so far, as far as art goes, and I’d argue that it goes nowhere near as far as the distillation method. Look at what The Little Drummer Girl has done by taking the source material and running with it, tossing it up into the air every now and then to see what flakes off.

I return to the word ‘handsome’. This is a gorgeous looking (and sounding) television series, by which I mean it looks like a lot of money has been spent on it. And it pays off – this really does look like what I assume Naples in the 1950s looks like. It takes a lot of money to make something look this authentically dusty and sad!

The acting is very good, especially from the children playing Lila and Lenu, and Max Richter’s largely pre-existing score anchors the more dramatic moments in a visceral, bloody mood. The establishing moment of the girls’ friendship, when they throw rocks back at bullying boys, is underscored with Richter’s rearrangement of Vivaldi’s Summer concerto, and it’s by far the most memorable moment of either episode I’ve watched. What has been lovely up until that point suddenly feels real; what has been remote feels human.

Unfortunately, My Brilliant Friend is muted to a fault, at least visually. Even without reading the book, you can feel Ferrante’s gorgeous prose creeping in at the edges. Take, for example, this passage:

“We were twelve years old, but we walked along the hot streets of the neighborhood, amid the dust and flies that the occasional old trucks stirred up as they passed, like two old ladies taking the measure of lives of disappointment, clinging tightly to each other. No one understood us, only we two—I thought—understood one another.”

That’s gorgeous, and when you’re reading it on the page, it feels immediate. You can almost smell 1950s Naples, or at least Elena Ferrante’s interpretation of it. In the television series, this is rendered with loving detail, but with none of the heart of Elena Ferrante. The shots are stately and beautiful, the colours are are a muddy cacophony of browns and greys, but it never feels particularly alive as a piece of art. Instead, it’s largely bloodless and remote, at least two episodes in, when we’re still setting things up. It’s important to remember that although this is an eight episode mini-series, it’s the first of four mini-series in total, each with eight episodes. That’s thirty-two hours, y’all, and things could wildly change.

At this stage, My Brilliant Friend stands resolutely, stubbornly, still. There’s a quiet resonance in the constant insistence of these girl’s futility in a man’s world – their fight to simply be educated is distressing and genuinely heartrending – and if the series had some of the tense, beautiful energy of the performers, there would be something special here.

But, as it stands, My Brilliant Friend feels like looking at a photo of a beautiful painting. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the photo –  it’s capturing all the details – but why wouldn’t you just look at the painting?

New episodes of My Brilliant Friend air on TVNZ on Demand every Monday and Tuesday night.