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Avi Duckor-Jones, classroom survivor
Avi Duckor-Jones, classroom survivor

Pop CultureMay 29, 2019

Which is harder: winning Survivor or surviving being a teacher?

Avi Duckor-Jones, classroom survivor
Avi Duckor-Jones, classroom survivor

Avi Duckor-Jones won Survivor NZ after 40 days living on a deserted stretch of coast, fighting to stay alive. He’s also a teacher in a New Zealand school.

I have often been asked the question: “Which has been harder? Survivor or teaching?”

In the past I’d laugh and provide a practised answer, but on the dawn of our nationwide teacher strike, I found that if I really thought about it, I couldn’t think of an honest response.

To examine the question closer, I dug out my Survivor journal, laid it beside my teaching journal, and went through the two methodically searching for my answer.

Before I read, I thought about one of the writers I took a group of students to see at the Auckland Writers Festival. Akala, founder of the Hip Hop Shakespeare Company, showed students that Shakespeare was not entirely dissimilar to contemporary hip hop. He offered up a series of quotes and asked the audience whether it came from Shakespeare or hip hop. In most cases, the audience was divided, unable to decipher to which genre and period the quote belonged.

I found, as I worked through my two journals, that the same exercise could be applied to my experiences on Survivor and in the classroom and that in fact, the two experiences were remarkably similar:

“This whole thing is unrelenting. Just as our tribe is recovering from another loss, we are thrown with another immunity challenge.” – Survivor.

“Man, this whole thing is unrelenting. Just as we have received back our piles of exams to mark, we are hit with reports, registers are due, and juniors are handing in Assessments to be marked too. It all just keeps piling up.” – Teaching.

“Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that this will finish, and I’ll be free to run and surf and read and write again. Sometimes it’s hard to think about anything other than this game.” – Survivor.

“I miss having time. Time is something that I’ve lost in this work. All I can think about is school, and everything I have to do.” – Teaching.

“I’m surviving day by day at the moment.” – Survivor.

“It’s hard to keep up. I’m living day to day at the moment.” – Teaching.

“I love this game, but I’m beginning to wonder if the difficulty is starting to outweigh the potential win.” – Survivor.

“I love my kids, and being in the classroom, but the admin is totally outweighing that part of teaching these days.” – Teaching.

“It’s sometimes hard to keep up a positive front.” – Survivor.

“It’s sometimes hard to stay positive in front of the kids.”– Teaching.

“We are all exhausted.” – Survivor.

“We are all burned out.” – Teaching.

“I am completely rinsed, my body feels weak and I am perpetually tired,” – variations of this sentiment featured heavily in both.

I get asked whether Survivor was real, when people I meet are suspicious and argue that’s it’s all just a production. I find myself defending the exhausting journey, the challenge, the hardship, the defeats and triumphs, to try and make them see how hard we all had to fight to stay in the game.

Similarly, people tell me that teachers should stop complaining, with the perks of holidays and 9-3 days that are provided with the job. I tell those people that our days are not short. Our days are bookended with meetings, marking and planning, padding either side of class-time with considerable work. Our holidays are very well earned and necessary for sustainability however they too are shortened with marking and planning.

The question therefore remains: what is harder? Forty days living on a deserted stretch of coast, starving, fighting to stay alive in a game that requires physical, mental and social endurance or teaching? Teaching requires patience, dedication, planning, strategy and empathy with a great deal of responsibility, and it is a hell of a lot longer than 40 days.

Teachers are not working hard to win a game, they are working hard to serve the youth of New Zealand and build a better future for our communities. Teachers once stood alongside lawyers and doctors as the most respected professions in our community, but it is starting to feel more and more like an endurance test that we’d expect to see on television, rather than an essential and incredibly important role in our society. So, what has changed? Those I work with, those who turn up every day to their classrooms with enthusiasm and passion, those who dedicate all the time and energy they have to the students before them, they deserve more.

In Survivor, I won and walked away with the prize money that made the tireless work worth it. In New Zealand, passionate, hardworking, quality teachers are walking away from the profession in droves, simply because their reward isn’t monetary, and often passion and hard work is simply not enough to survive. What will make teaching a more sustainable and attractive profession? Pay. There are incredible educators out there, who are heading overseas, and our Tamariki deserve better. They deserve the best, and they are here, ready and willing to serve.

Let’s Get Inventin’s Mr Metal (Chris Stapp)
Let’s Get Inventin’s Mr Metal (Chris Stapp)

Pop CultureMay 29, 2019

Let’s Get Inventin’ was the most hectic kids show of the noughties

Let’s Get Inventin’s Mr Metal (Chris Stapp)
Let’s Get Inventin’s Mr Metal (Chris Stapp)

Let’s Get Inventin’ was a late-noughties reality TV show that pitted children and scientists against common sense. Josie Adams looks back at what made it great.

Our screens have played host to many questionable children’s television shows over the years: Bumble, Drew Neemia-era Sticky TV, and Worzel Gummidge Down Under are just three examples. But none were more frantic than the apex of child-friendly primetime pandemonium, Let’s Get Inventin’.

From 2006 through to 2013, NZ on Air paid for seven seasons of Let’s Get Inventin’a show that swept up awards for turning children’s ideas into very real and often horrifying inventions. Some of the children wanted to make the world a better place. Some wanted anarchy, chaos, and to drink straight from the udder of a cow. Finally, they had the means.

Presented by NZ Idol alum Clinton Randell and loose cannon stuntman Chris Stapp (as Mr Metal), the show was guaranteed to be a perfect combination of compelling and panic-stricken. Each season started with a selection of kids and their ideas. They would pitch a concept, work with scientists to build it, and the New Zealand public would vote on the best. It was a novel concept: adults taking kids’ ideas seriously.

Hosts Randell and Stapp run next to the patented power ball.

Winners would receive $10,000 worth of patenting and business advice, and all the kids on season one got a ride in the Gibbs Aquada, an amphibious vehicle invented in Auckland that Richard Branson once used to set a record crossing the English Channel.

Natalie Crimp’s invention, the SunSticker, which lets you know when you’ve had enough sun exposure, impressed American billionaire Julian Robertson so much that he offered her a full scholarship to Duke University.

You could separate the child inventors into two camps: pragmatists and idealists. The pragmatists made inventions to reduce chores: the Tablenator, Papernator, and Waste-Away are just a few excellent ideas. They prove that burdening children with enough menial labour to dissatisfy them and enough sugar to get their minds racing could, one day, be how we win the war.

The idealists were one bad PE class away from losing the fucking plot. They were children on the edge. Alongside your classic Rocket Skates, this group invented the Very Lazy Boy – a normal La-Z-Boy with a mini fridge and jet pulse engine – and the Terminator Mailbox, intended to destroy vandals with paintballs to the gut. They prove nothing but that Jordan Peterson’s chaos is real and currently covering your conservatory in Sharpie.

The rat-powered bike worked exactly as intended.

One particular invention that tested the limits of human existence was Human Skeet Shoot, which fired people six metres in the air so they could be pelted with rotten tomatoes. Was this dangerous? “We were very professional and didn’t harm anyone,” show creator Luke Nola told The Spinoff, before amending his statement: “Chris Stapp got a bit beat up.”

A specialist circle of child inventors on Great Barrier Island answered an age-old question: can you kill an animal on kids TV? With context, yes. The children of Kaitoke school were asked to solve the island’s rat infestation problem. Bonfires, blenders, and beatings galore were proposed, but the winner was the Brothel of Death. Female rats in a cage attracted males who, upon entering, would be zapped dead by 30,000 volts. “You couldn’t kill a rat for fun or target practice on a kids’ TV show,” explained Nola, highlighting the environmental angle of the inventions. The workshop paid off; a quick zap is more humane than poison.

One ex-inventor, Rachel Barker, described her time on the show as an equally enjoyable and bizarre experience. “Clint Randall, who hosted the show at the time, was a huge support and wonderful onscreen partner,” she told The Spinoff. “It might not have been for all kids as there was a lot of waiting around, infrequent eating, adult chat and pressure, but I was fascinated by TV and filmmaking at that age so I was so happy to be there.”

Her 2009 invention was a machine that could tie up hair “to a questionable degree” without the use of hands. She explained the concept further: “It was an upside down K-Mart bucket attached to a huge battery creating an air vacuum, with a too-complicated-for-13-year-old-me-to-understand mechanism that released and tightened a two-part elastic tie over the hair.”

Rachel Barker and Clinton Randell watch her creation in testing.

She didn’t win. “Compared to a rat trapping system installed on Great Barrier Island my invention didn’t really stand up.”

Barker now works as a video editor, “accidental actor,” and part-time filmmaker. “I genuinely think LGI helped get me here,” she said.

Let’s Get Inventin’ has screened in 150 countries around the world, inspired two similar shows in the UK, and is still streaming on HeiHei six years after it ended. The concept that kids love inventing shouldn’t have been revolutionary – but it was. “Everyone thinks you have to be science smart, but you don’t,” said Nola about the concept. “Anyone can be an inventor.”

Watch Let’s Get Inventin’ on HEIHEI here.