It only comes around once every five years, so don’t spoil your chance to have a good time with census 2023.

As of Sunday night, about one million New Zealanders have already submitted their census forms. “It is great to see so many people completing their census forms ahead of census day,” said spokesperson Simon Mason. “The aim is for the whole country, excluding areas affected by Cyclone Gabrielle whose response will come later, to complete their census forms by census day.”

That’s a great early turnout for sure. But it also means that there’s still about four million more of us – plus all those pesky celebs and other visitors – that need to get censusing soon. 

If you’re wondering what all this census hullabaloo is about, you can read our comprehensive explainer. But if you’re already across all that and just want some last minute motivation to visit census.govt.nz and get it done before the statistical repo men track you down, here’s some quick tips and tricks for census day celebration.

Nothing beats the excitement of doing something on the day

There’s nothing wrong with doing your census early. In fact, for the purposes of making sure every single New Zealander fills it out, anyone who has already done it should be congratulated. But that doesn’t remove the fact that there’s a specific sort of joy generated by completing your civic duties on the designated day and at the same time as lots of other people.

That’s certainly the position of The Spinoff’s Alice Neville, who believes that doing the census early is like opening your Christmas presents the night before: “Just not in the spirit of the bloody thing.”

She adds: “It should be a nationwide bonding event, like a telethon or an election (don’t get me started on those killjoys who insist on advance voting), and we should all do it together at exactly the same time in a touching show of community spirit and collective nerdiness.”

Another good point from our resident census devotee – if you filled out the form early, can you honestly say where you will be on the night of March 7? “The infinitesimal chance that you won’t be at home – that you’ll have been arrested and wrongly imprisoned for a crime you didn’t commit, or you’ll get stuck in the work lift and have to sleep there overnight, or you’ll accidentally go on a Tuesday night bender and regrettably go home with some random, thus ruling invalid your census answers and throwing the whole statistical exercise into disarray – should not be ruled out.”

Throw a census night party with friends

Unless you’re a first year university student, Tuesday night isn’t a typical day for a party. But census night is the perfect opportunity to get some friends over, crack open a bottle of mediocre plonk, cobble together a playlist of songs tangentially related to the census and get filling in that form. 

It could even be the perfect pre-drinks activity before Harry Styles (or Rob Brydon in Christchurch, though that seems less like a pre-drinks kind of event). And with feather boas back in stock after a reported shortage, what a lovely opportunity to glam up before filling in the form.

Just a reminder not to have too much fun at your census party. You have to complete the survey for whichever dwelling you sleep in on the night of the census, so maybe don’t make your census party a sleepover. Or do – just remember that wherever you stay will become an official statistic.

Or you could do it with your family

Want to keep census night a more relaxed affair? Why not complete it with your family, particularly those who may still be struggling with the concept of filling in the form online. While paper forms can still be used, they have to be ordered and the default option is to use your unique code (which will have arrived via the post) and complete the survey online.

Another handy tip for helping older family members: make sure they are filling out the correct census! CertNZ has warned people about fake websites attempting to cash in on all the census fun. 

Then watch the census tally roll on in

Census results will start to roll in from 9.00am Tuesday on the official website. A bit like the general election, you can furiously refresh your browser to get the latest figures (and we’ll have them in The Spinoff’s live updates too).

Unlike the election, however, the results will only be updated once a day and not in real time. Sure, that means you won’t get to watch Patrick Gower grow more and more deranged with excitement – but who says it can’t still be fun.

Also unlike the election, there aren’t really any winners or losers – though if everyone is counted we all win as the benefactors of accurate data about ourselves and our fellow citizens. And if you don’t fill in your census form simply because you can’t be bothered… that is kind of loserish (and illegal). Up to you!