Wellington rugby refs refused to take the field over the weekend due to ongoing abuse. But it’s not just a rugby problem. Here, a Far North league ref recalls needing a police officer to escort him off the field.
As told to Chris Schulz.
I’ve been a referee since I was 14. I’m 29 now. I reside in the Far North. Abuse is something we just have to live with as referees. it’s a part of our job. It’s such a small community – I’ve got to ref these guys on a Saturday then work with them during the week. I work in social services, Māori men’s mental health. It’s a little bit ironic. I deal with Māori men’s emotions on a daily basis and I have to deal with them on a Saturday as well.
My whānau are really big on rugby league and have participated as players for nearly 50 years. Unfortunately, I was a scrawny little fella. Nevertheless I loved league just as much as my whānau. So very early on I came to terms with my size and wanted to be as close to the hits as possible without being on the receiving end. Refereeing was a way to watch it go down but not feel the injuries.
I started off reffing senior rugby league at 14 because we had very limited numbers of referees in the Far North. I enjoyed reffing and I was brought through the ranks by a senior referee, Tane Kaiwai. He was one of my mentors. It was much easier back then because of my age and also I grew up here so I knew most of the players. They respected me for stepping up into a role where nobody else would.
When I was 18 I moved to Auckland and took up refereeing in the Auckland Rugby League competition. I also reffed seniors. I reffed the Sharman Cup and ran lines for the Fox Memorial. Then I had my son which put me on a hiatus as I needed my weekends back to be with my boy. Then I picked it up again when I moved back home to the Far North. Do I get paid? Barely. It’s $80 a game, a dollar a minute. It’s fuck-all. But it’s not about the pay for me. I just love the game.
There’s been a consistent barrage of abuse towards referees over that time. It’s [coming from] supporters and players. Players will always say things under their breath as they walk away, or try and take a dig when there’s a breakdown or a scrum. It’s always the same shit: “Fucking come on, ref,” “You’re shit, ref,” “How much are they paying you?” No matter the club, no matter the age group, no matter the venue. It’s that sour taste in people’s mouths when they feel like they’ve been done wrong or I didn’t get the call right.
I ref my best friends. I ref my family. I ref my colleagues. I ref my business and work acquaintances. That exposes me to risks outside of Saturday rugby league. That might just be the reality for me. The sour taste overflows into our mahi, into our kaupapa. I carry myself as a good, kind person. Just because I didn’t give you a penalty or did send you off during the weekend, doesn’t mean that I’m an arsehole or a dick.
It’s hard to escape after the full-time whistle. Everyone’s an expert come Monday to Friday. Some people just can’t help but carry it into the work week and go, “Nah, fuck that, he sent me off during the weekend, I’m not even going to meet with him”. I’m always looking over my shoulder to see if there are any other grievances that players or spectators might have had during the game.
I was police escorted away from a game once. I was a linesman and I was copping abuse from a spectator on the sidelines. Someone said, “I’ll see you in the carpark.” The referee was a policeman. I told him, “He’s told me he’s got to meet me in the car park.” He’s like, “OK, we’ll walk off together as a referee crew.” Nothing eventuated. I was just lucky enough that the main fella in the middle on the day was a policeman.
Calling off games in Wellington definitely isn’t the first and it definitely won’t be the last time. Sporting codes have done this over the 15 years that I’ve been a referee. They’ve banned sports grounds, banned spectators, tried to reprimand clubs and teams. A lot of clubs have gotten on top of alcohol at games which has somewhat reduced the intensity of that abuse. But whatever they’ve done in the past to try and deal with this, it’s just not working.
Why do I keep doing it? I wouldn’t get out of bed if it wasn’t for my love of rugby league. I watch all the games – Warriors, State of Origin. I’m passionate about the competition up here. We disassociated ourselves from New Zealand Rugby League for 10 years to build this competition. Now it’s got 12 teams and there are youth grades coming through. So the future of rugby league and Te Tai Tokerau and the Far North is bright.
As a referee, I just can’t get over the abuse. I want them to know how I feel. I want them to know how it affects me. This will probably be my final season because of this issue.
