Image: Tina Tiller
Image: Tina Tiller

OPINIONSocietyAugust 16, 2023

On being a teenage girl in your 20s

Image: Tina Tiller
Image: Tina Tiller

It was hell being a teenager, writes Shit You Should Care About’s Lucy Blakiston. Six years later, it’s all I want to be.

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You know when you’ve been away from something long enough you forget how shit it was and want to do it again? It’s why people keep giving birth even though it hurt the first time, why we go back to our exes even though they suck, and why, even though hell was being a teenage girl, right now she’s all I want to be.

As I type this I’m wearing chipped pinked nail polish, a beaded friendship bracelet, and orange jelly shoes. I spent last night talking to my besties about how excited we are for Taylor Swift’s 1989 re-release, reminiscing about when it first came out (we were 17), and planning our sparkly outfits for when we see her next year.

Sparkly outfit inspo for seeing Taylor in ’24. (Photo: Scott Legato/TAS23/Getty Images)

I’ve recently moved home to a room with curtains covered in glittery flowers, One Direction posters on the walls, and a Chicken Soup For the Teenage Soul beside the bed. I go online and am served a platter of The Summer I Turned Pretty (or edits of it), the Jonas Brothers being back on tour (or edits of it) and the Barbie movie (or edits of it). I’m listening to Lorde’s Pure Heroine, Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die, Taylor Swift’s Speak Now, and anything Olivia Rodrigo throws in my direction.

I’m a 25-year-old teenage girl.

The last time I was a teenage girl was six years ago and I thought for sure that was gonna be the hardest time of my life. But something about losing a sibling, losing a few years to the pandemic, and re-entering a world that feels like it’s operating on borrowed time has given those years a halo. Luckily it’s never been easier to go back.

The pop culture we grew up with as teenagers is now being reinvented as pop culture we get to consume as 20-somethings, which means all we want to do is dive under our baby pink duvets and drink in the blue light of our upgraded iPod touches (aka iPhones). In the past few years alone we’ve seen reboots and reunions of iCarly, Zoey 101, Gossip Girl, Friends, Sex & The City and Gilmore Girls. We’ve been re-gifted the Taylor Swift albums that once told us that someday we’d be living in a big old city, and now that we are, they’re asking us whether we’ve done things greater than datin’ the boy on the football team. And we’re eating this shit up.

Barbie puts her foot in it.

The purchasing power of teenage girls was already unmatched (tell me why I had five different copies of the same magazine just so I could have a front cover with each member of One Direction on it?). So imagine the power of teenage girls in their 20s who are no longer worried about looking basic, mainstream, too girly, too adolescent, and don’t have to use their parents’ credit cards. You don’t have to. Nostalgia sells, and now we have the money to buy it. The Eras tour alone has been boosting cities’ GDPs by hundreds of millions of dollars, employing thousands of people, selling out jewellery stores for friendship bracelets, museums for exhibits, and bringing people out to local food spots serving ‘Lavender Haze’ cocktails (no wonder world leaders are begging Taylor Swift to visit them.) Barbie has made over $1 billion at the worldwide box office and prompted other franchises that defined our childhoods (like Polly Pocket) to get their moment in the sun. And look at Olivia Rodrigo topping the charts with every new teenage-angst fuelled hit. Us teen girls in our 20s may be little but we’re coming for the crown.

This is coupled with the fact that buying a house feels impossible and saving for retirement when the future feels wobbly seems like a waste of a life, so doing things that give us that rosy glow in our cheeks just feels… right. It’s like we’ve collectively decided that we don’t want mortgages, we want memories.

And not that you asked, but I’m also not taking my own car to the mechanic, making my own doctor’s appointments or answering an unknown number. What I am gonna do is move overseas with my bestie in the hopes that it’s a sleepover every night where we get to listen to Alanis Morrissette and watch Camp Rock and lust over life the way we did at 15. Because hell was being a teenage girl, but right now she’s all I want to be.

Keep going!
Should it really take months to decide which headphones to buy?
Should it really take months to decide which headphones to buy?

SocietyAugust 16, 2023

Hear me out: Stop researching all of your online purchases

Should it really take months to decide which headphones to buy?
Should it really take months to decide which headphones to buy?

Knowledge may be power, but having everything everyone has ever reckoned about every pair of headphones to ever exist at her fingertips is a recipe for paralysing indecision for Gabi Lardies.

It took me months to buy headphones. I wanted the mod-cons (noise cancelling, wireless), I wanted them to last for ever (for my ecological and ethical concerns), and as the annoying consumer I am, I wanted it all for the best price possible. I have a small head so I was looking for reviews saying they were a bit tight.

I scoured the websites of electronics stores, compared prices, read their product reviews, then read review websites and Reddit threads. I pestered friends who I consider to know about technology, tried on their headphones, and got Mum’s opinion (you can always count on her to think things are expensive). After all that, there was no clear winner of which headphones should get to crown my little head every day. In the end, the decision happened when two stars aligned. My friend laughed at me in a sad way when she found out I hadn’t bought any yet, and PB Tech had a sale on.

I might agonise more than some willy-nilly spenders, but I’m not alone. Seventy-one percent of consumers research before buying always or most of the time, according to MIBE’s New Zealand Consumer Survey 2022, released this May. The number is growing – back in 2016 it was only 57% of consumers. Women are slightly more likely to do it than men (73% v 64%), and those aged 27-36 are the most chronic researchers (85%). Only 3% of people said they never research (who are they?).

Little boy listening story on his headphones and smart phone with sad face.
In the old days life was easy

Once, there was no internet, and people would just go to The Warehouse and buy the second cheapest discman that came with headphones. Maybe they would chat to the shop attendant, who might have known nothing at all or been a super tech nerd. Once they’d popped in two AA batteries, in went the latest NOW That’s What I Call Music! and people were happy. I reckon this would take 30 minutes tops, and be a rather pleasant experience, so why do I have to punish myself with months of indecision?

It’s good to be a selective and informed buyer of stuff. We should buy things we need, like and can afford that align with our values, and knowing what we’re buying ideally ensures that outcome. We also don’t want nasty surprises – over half the people in the consumer survey had experienced a problem with something they bought in the last two years – so the worries are not completely irrational. Besides, I was just buying headphones. Imagine if I was buying, say, a baby’s carseat? 

The internet has created another little world of pain as it appears to offer us more and better stuff and information. Everything everyone has ever reckoned about headphones or carseats or anything else is at our fingertips and it’s simply too much. Sometimes, they start talking about the V1 chip from the M5, DSEE upscaling to improve compressed content, or beam-forming microphones. I study the words diligently, not understanding a thing and wondering – are they trying to say pure immersive bliss? 

Buying stuff is hard. Buying online is even harder because what’s available is not geographically limited. I’m not limited to what The Warehouse has in stock, or the shops at my local mall, or even what’s in the country. I can buy anything – the decision is all mine. Terrifying.

Some people solve the dilemma of what to buy with brand, and even product, loyalty. They will buy a pair of shoes, wear them out, then buy an identical pair. It’s very practical and quite boring. I don’t think you should trust any brand ever, so I am dubious of developing loyalty. 

Op shops are an easy option by simply presenting you with what they’ve got for cheap and no environmental or capitalist-related guilt. If there are three matching plates and another two which don’t match but are cute – perfect, sold. But I didn’t find any wireless noise-cancelling headphones there. 

It’s apples and oranges and we just have to pick. Which dish rack should we buy from Kmart? The wooden one gets mouldy but the metal one rusts, so is either better?

With the headphones, I’m pretty sure I was comparing oranges with oranges. They were all headphones. I set the filters to only see the wireless and noise-cancelling ones, and ordered them by lowest price. They all worked, charged via cable, had similar battery lives, came in black or white, and would have fit my head just fine. One orange was as orange as the other.

I knew this, in theory, the whole time. But I was scared of making the wrong decision. Buyer’s remorse is painful. I might go on a website tomorrow and see way better headphones for cheaper, or a terrible review of my ones. I try to forgive my brain for being like this.

Refurbishing corporate laptops not only gives rangatahi opportunities, but it keeps tech waste out of landfill (Image: Getty Images)
Please help me when I have to buy a new computer (Photo: Getty Images)

Two weeks after ordering, my crown came in the post. I think the headphones are all good. They fit my head and they make noise. I haven’t really figured out how to best use all the noise-cancelling features because it has to be done via an additional app and it’s annoying. Unfortunately the bluetooth is, for some mysterious reason, not compatible with my late 2012 MacBook Pro, even though I updated the software especially. My computer speaker is broken and sounds like a demon, but it’s fine because the headphones came with an optional cable and I guess I don’t really need them to be wireless.

For the seven in 10 readers who will be researching before buying stuff – well done, it’s us stress pots holding these companies to account. Perhaps though, the personal price we pay is too high. Stress is not good for you, time is money, and I think any pair of headphones would have crowned me just fine. We’ve been trying to make the BEST decision, but we should just aim to make a good enough one, and get along with life. Good luck out there.