Tara Ward makes the case for the Municipal Lane restrooms as the perfect place to spend a penny.
Last week, Alex Casey took us inside some of the most beautiful bogs in the country, located at Christchurch’s Tūranga library. Those yellow rays of toilet sunshine are indeed spectacular, but I want to throw another lavatory into the porcelain ring of glory: the Municipal Lane restrooms in Ōtepoti Dunedin. These public toilets may not be as colourful as their Cantabrian counterparts, but for my money they’re still among the best restrooms in the nation.
The location of these toilets is so good that if Phil Spencer were to make a show about NZ’s Best Loos, they would surely appear in episode one. Located halfway down Municipal Lane (just off the Octagon, watch out for the ghost), these understated facilities are tucked underneath the Town Hall and right next to the public library. Operated by the Dunedin City Council for around 30 years, the restrooms are open seven days a week between 8am and 8pm, which gives you 12 hours every single day to pee your little heart out.
What the Municipal Lane restrooms may lack in aesthetic wow factor, they make up for in practicality and functionality. Few public toilets are this immaculately clean. After many years and many visits, these restrooms have never let me down – every single surface is spotless and sparkling, no mysterious stains on the floor or alarming aromas wafting out from the cubicles. The toilet paper dispenser has never, ever been empty.
That’s probably because the Municipal Lane restrooms have a rare and wonderful feature: a real live human attendant. Rita Falk is one of a team of DCC attendants who works in the restroom each day to keep the facilities clean and safe, and assist customers with any queries. It’s a role she takes great pride in, having worked at Municipal Lane for the past 17 years. “It’s so long, the restrooms are my second home,” Falk told The Spinoff by email.
You can sense Falk’s pride when you step down into the restrooms. Looking for a rubbish bin? I counted five. Worried you might stink? Great news, you can buy a packet of perfume for $2 from one of three different types of vending machines in the ladies loos alone. There’s good accessibility, with a ramp leading down into the restrooms and plenty of open space. There’s also a dedicated change room for babies and infants, toilet and washroom facilities, and visitors can escape the chaos of the city by relaxing in some comfortable seating near Falk’s office. You can even store luggage for $2 per item – Falk says the weirdest object she’s been asked to look after is a zimmer frame.
Falk loves interacting with the many different people who use the restrooms, from locals popping by to answer the call of nature to tourists visiting during Dunedin’s busy summer cruise ship season. Customers appreciate the opportunity for human connection, Falk believes, and even after 17 years on the toilet frontline, she continues to be surprised by the people she meets. “About 10 years ago, a group of zombies congregated outside the restrooms during the evening, which gave me a bit of a fright,” she recalls. It turned out a zombie horror movie was being filmed in Dunedin. Falk has also had a barbershop quartet turn up to serenade her, and a French tourist once performed the duelling banjos theme from Deliverance in her honour.
So while the Municipal Lane restrooms might not be as colourful as the Tūranga tiled toilets or as eclectic as Kawakawa’s famous Hundertwasser loos, they are my favourite: clean, fresh, welcoming, an oasis of solitude in the middle of a busy city with a team of attendants who clearly care about the work they do.
It turns out I’m not the only one who thinks the Municipal Lane restrooms are the best public toilets in Dunedin. “We hear this on almost a daily basis,” Falk says. “Our customers very much appreciate the restrooms and have said to us, ‘These are the best loos we’ve seen in the world, and they’re free!’” Municipal Lane, you have my heart. Also, my bladder.
