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The world’s only laser butt plug show performed at Splore 2018 (Photo: Ben Brewer)
The world’s only laser butt plug show performed at Splore 2018 (Photo: Ben Brewer)

SocietyFebruary 27, 2018

Empress Stah, the laser butt plug, and exploring the light inside us

The world’s only laser butt plug show performed at Splore 2018 (Photo: Ben Brewer)
The world’s only laser butt plug show performed at Splore 2018 (Photo: Ben Brewer)

Aerial artist Empress Stah performs the world’s only laser butt plug show, and she brought it to Splore 2018 last weekend. Simon Day spoke to her about how her art challenges audiences to look at the world in a different way. 

Empress Stah hung from her trapeze above the stage as hundreds of Splorers waited for the moment. Her muscular body swung, her legs stretched far apart, and then a laser shot out of her anus and across the crowd. The music, produced by Canadian artist Peaches, was dark and intense as she spun on her hexagonal swing, as the laser butt plug changed colours and size from a single tight beam to a thick rainbow haze. It was athletic, hypnotic, multi coloured, and coming straight out of her arse.

Was this crazy stunt a circus performance, cabaret, or art? Empress Stah says it’s all of those things, and designed to make the audience take more out of her show than just mere entertainment. She wants the crowd to be challenged about the way they see things like gender, sexuality, and fetishism. She wants her audience to question their understanding of how a body can and should be used.

The Australian performer who has been based in London for the majority of the last 20 years, began her career in performance by dropping out of economics degree.

“I was floating around, I was on the dole, I thought I wanted to be on stage but didn’t really know how or why or what. So I start doing some drag shows (in Sydney clubs). And I was into a lot of the body piercing stuff in the modern primitive scene. And someone invited me to a trapeze class, I’d always been on the monkey bars as a kid, and so I got on the trapeze and I never got off. That’s twenty years ago.”

Since then she’s appeared with Cirque Du Soleil and Dita von Teese, performed at Splore, and in 2015 collaborated with Peaches, the genesis of her now-famous laser arse show. And while her reputation precedes her on the European scene, there is a lot more allure (and apprehension from certain more conservative institutions) for her first laser butt plug show on this side of the world.

She arrived at our interview on the grassy bank behind the Splore mainstage carrying a solid silver briefcase – inside was the famous laser butt plug. It’s a surprisingly large and elaborate piece of equipment, and requires her husband to control the colour changes during the performance. It’s also top secret and I can’t show you a photograph, or tell you about how it is made.

What is the message the laser shining from her butt is supposed to carry? It’s about the light inside of all us, about finding our own god in who we are. It’s about gender, religion and the universe. And it’s about celebrating who we are.

Empress Stah and her top secret laser butt plug (Photo: Simon Day).

Have you ever performed in a place like this?

I performed at Splore in 2008. It’s really good to be back here, when I’m in London or the UK the festivals are generally a lot bigger, grimmer, muddier, colder, certainly not like where we are now, looking out over a flotilla of yachts. I’m looking forward to having my performances finished a day off tomorrow to relax by the water.

And there’s a whole bevy of freaks dressed up beautifully walking by. It’s wonderful.

I wanted to talk about the freaks. New Zealand is somewhat famous for its tolerance, but tolerance feels like such a disappointing aspiration. Here the freaks, and the people who are learning about their freakiness, get so much more than tolerance, they get to be who they want to be. How important are places like this for encouraging something that’s greater than tolerance, but an understanding of eachother?

I’ve never thought about tolerance in those terms. Just to be tolerated is quite a negative connotation.

It’s absolutely essential to the well being of a person to be able to freely express themselves, whether that is about their gender, their sexuality, their lifestyle choices. Whatever it is that floats your boat, you should be able to get on with that in life. I have a new personal goal, to add a new stripe to the rainbow flag, which is a holographic stripe and it represents freaks. It’s not based on sexuality or gender, or anything identified with LGBTQI+ flag, it’s about who you are inside and how that comes out.

In light of that I think spaces like this are absolutely vital for coming together of like minded people, and to allow newcomers to explore their freakiness, and to express it.   

Thinking of freakiness in a sexual way, sex is always something that we love to talk about, it’s on our minds all the time, yet it is still something that is socially stigmatised and often isn’t something to celebrate. How much is your show and your approach to art about the celebration of our sexuality?

In my work and performances I use my body, often naked, and I wear things inside my body and I deal with issues of gender fluidity and who you are inside, and fetishism, and of course my laser butt plug performance which is starring in the show tonight. For me that isn’t explicitly about the joy of sex, as it is about the freedom to use one’s body in your own way, and that isn’t necessarily construed as being as sexualised.

The importance of talking about and celebrating the joy of sex is undoubtedly super important to the psychology and well being of humans. And the repression of that has caused load of problems throughout society.  

That specific angle isn’t really a focus of my work. I come from a place of transcending that from the beginning.  Much as the body of my work was created for nightclubs, for gay clubs, and fetish clubs. I really came at from a place of “this is what I want to do with my life”, so I got myself booked then I made my act to fit that place, that style of audience.

The work is always specific to the club. I was invited to make a show for a club called Fist in London when I very first arrived over there in 2000. I was desperate for work, I had to pay the rent and the phone rings, “Hi it’s Suzie Kruger from Fist, can you do a show for us?” Of course!

Then I thought what the fuck am I going to do? Because Fist is a really hardcore gay club, as the name suggests, there’s lots of dark rooms, lots of action going on, mind boggling actually what goes on in there. Everyone is having a great time, they’re all expressing themselves freely.

So I was thinking what am I going to perform? I am a woman for starters. Someone in the audience could have both their fists up the boyfriend’s arse already, so this was a different ball park. So I decided ultimately, they were all gay, so I went for ABBA, and flipped it on its head, and made a show called Little Miss Stah, about me being in a beauty contest as quite a young person.

It was very wrong. It was a montage of music including ABBA and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and I painted a star on a piece of cardboard with a paintbrush in my vagina. And I sat on dildo chair and talked about my special relationship with my uncle. It was really tongue in cheek, it was really funny, and it was really wrong and they loved it.

It hit you right between the eyes (Photo: Ben Brewer)

How does Little Miss Stah become Empress Stah?

It was at first Stah Power Girl, then Interglamactic Empress Stah Power Girl, and now Empress Stah Power. I’ve changed my name by deed poll three times to those three different versions.

A few years back I decided that I was going to archive the majority of my work and move into theatre, and trying to get away a bit from my public image. I feel I am a bit misunderstood, I think I have a lot more to offer than just this. And every time I have attempted to break free I don’t quite manage it, partly because I think I am actually personally interested in the work I am doing.

Whenever I try and straighten up a bit, then the next thing you know the show is just on the wrong side of right, not the right side of wrong, for the mainstream and more commercial audience.

So, I am just on the cusp of creating a new show, called the Slingshot Show. The idea being the slingshot is something you can hit people with force, it’s quite accurate, and you aim to hit them between the eyes – meaning the third eye, meaning to open people’s mind to enlighten people, to awaken people.

I’ve realised that this is really important to me and I am going to continue down this road. It will feature the laser. Commercial shows appeal to a broader audience, but I think that audience is there now. If I curate it cleverly I think it can work.

The other thing associated with that, that I’ve had in my vocabulary for a few years now, and I haven’t known how to present it, is ‘Cabarart’. And the idea behind Cabarart is it’s a new way of describing live art. It’s not burlesque, it’s not drag, and it’s not live art – it’s Cabarart.

It’s performance that’s entertaining, thought provoking and challenging, which are often mutually exclusive. Someone will book a live art show, but it won’t be very entertaining, or you book a burlesque show and it might be sexy but it won’t be very conceptual. My work I feel has always straddled all these genres, and I’ve always struggled with how to describe it, and then this name came to me.

You gave a really interesting critique of entertainments inability to tell a bigger story, than just occupying someone’s time and mind, and of the dilution of cabaret.

There’s a thing that has happened with the resurgence of cabaret over the last 20 years, it’s become really sanitised and commercialised and it’s got to sell out Spiegeltents, it’s gotta have 500 on the South Bank, seven shows a week. That’s all well and good, but right at the beginning it was about the artist putting on their own show, anything went, you could see anything. Then people saw dollar signs, and producers got involved and it’s become like clapping seals.

There’s a point, and that point is now, that audiences who have been frequenting these shows are ready to see something else. An audience broad enough to initiate conversation and potentially change the way they think and look at the world, which is really important.

How do you continue to have cut through when people are much more exposed to what you are doing?

It’s about reaching a much broader audience so you don’t just play to your peers. It’s about finding new venues. Finding new ways to talk about it, finding new ways of marketing it, and finding a way to bring down new people who wouldn’t normally be interested in it. That is key to finding a way to broaden the audience and broaden the conversation.

When there’s a plethora of people who are down with what you do and are going to come to your show no matter what, it’s finding the people who are hesitant.

That’s what I want to do with the Slingshot show. It’s about telling people they are going to be challenged when you come to this show, but it’s going to be in a good way, and it’s going to be fun, and you’re going to have a great night. It’s going to have all the excitement of the other shows that are on the South Bank, or the Spiegeltent at the Adelaide Fringe Festival, but it’s going to push the boat out just a little bit further.

I’m planning on bringing it to Auckland. My husband and I are planning on moving back to Australia. I have quite a large family on the east coast of Australia. There is a big network of people there and I want to see my nieces and nephews. I am not having children myself, so I do feel like I need to be Aunty Stah. I do have that desire.

As my 97 year old grandmother said when I visited last year: “You’re coming to stir things up a bit.”

Does she know what you do?

She would have an idea. But she probably doesn’t know exactly.

The rest of my family do, they know exactly what I do. They have come to some of my shows when I’ve been in town. They think I am great. I am the talking point of the family, they’re really proud of me.

They’re really normal. There’s no reason I’ve ended up the way that I am. I don’t come from an artistic family. I’m the fluro freak of the family, the fluro sheep.

The laser arse aerial show at Splore (Photo: Ben Brewer).

If you move back home, where do you take your show next?

Once we are established in Australia we will have a bigger relationship with you here in New Zealand, bringing shows over to Auckland and Christchurch and Wellington festivals. As well as in Australia and up into Asia.

You’ve got Tokyo, and I have heard there is a good scene in Taiwan, and Korea. And they don’t get a good scene touring from Europe because it’s so far.

As much as I am still performing now, and enjoying being on stage and having that persona, I am in a position where I am putting more people into the shows and eventually I will be producing and taking more of a back seat.

Have you prepared something bespoke and special for Splore?

I have indeed. You’re getting a performance of Stargasm, which is laser ass aerial performance, which I did in collaboration with a musician called Peaches. I approached her to write the song for the act. The act involves a laser butt plug, colour changing lasers that come out at you that travel across the room in a haze.


This section is made possible by Simplicity, the online nonprofit KiwiSaver plan that only charges members what it costs, nothing more. Simplicity is New Zealand’s fastest growing KiwiSaver scheme, saving its 12,000 plus investors more than $3.8 million annually in fees. Simplicity donates 15% of management revenue to charity and has no investments in tobacco, nuclear weapons or landmines. It takes two minutes to join.

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Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images

SocietyFebruary 27, 2018

Renting 101: A complete guide to living as a tenant in New Zealand

Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images

Rent Week 2018: Like all media companies, we spend our days looking at Reddit for things to repost. The difference is that we ask. And so, with the permission of Chelsea S aka /u/PavementFuck, we present Renting 101 – everything you need to know about being a tenant in New Zealand.

Since it’s renting season, I thought I’d pass on a few bits of information I’ve learnt in my short renting experience.

TL;DR: Um, not really sure, maybe read the first sentence in each section?

NLE;WM (Not Long Enough; Want More): Read the Residential Tenancies Act.

1. Professional carpet cleaning clause in tenancy agreements. It is unlawful for the landlord to include a clause stating carpets must be cleaned annually or at the end of the tenancy. Most property management firms include this clause, so if you want the property, you’re free to ignore the clause. Important: If you spill something, or do damage to the carpet that doesn’t come clean with a regular vacuum, the property manager can force you to get it professionally cleaned or repaired. The landlord/property manager can’t demand a receipt as proof, the result is all the evidence they require. They also can’t demand you use a certain company (but they can make a recommendation). That’s dodgy as fuck. Don’t go to the Tenancy Tribunal just for including this clause, only if they try to enforce it, or if you’re going for something else, add exemplary damages for this to your application.

2. Utilities. Utilities (water, power etc) can only be billed to the tenant when it can be exclusively attributable. If you share a power or water connection with another flat, the landlord can’t just split the bill and charge you 50% each, unless there’s a separate sub meter for one of the dwellings. If there’s no sub meter, your landlord has to pay. In Auckland, our water rates bills are split into three parts: a fixed annual charge, a metered water charge, and a percentage of the metered water as waste water charge. Only the latter two charges can be billed to the tenant. You can request a copy of the WaterCare bill and work this out yourself. In this example, only $26.96 is payable by the tenant.

Photo: Phil Walters/Getty Images.

3. Market rent. Landlords can only charge reasonable market rent. This one is a pain because the tenancy tribunal has ruled in different ways. Generally, if you think the rent is much too high for a property, don’t rent it, and don’t put an application in for it either. Landlords have previously used other prospective tenants applications as evidence that they’re charging market rent. If your landlord has decided to put the rent up, and you think it is way too high, you can check here for your suburb, and if it is substantially out of the range specified, you can ask for a review. If your landlord won’t budge, take them to the Tenancy Tribunal.

4. Fixed term tenancies. Long term tenancies only benefit landlords or bad tenants. There is no incentive for a GOOD tenant to accept anything more than a one year fixed term. If you’re clean and tidy, don’t do any damage, and pay rent on time, a good landlord will want to keep you. Getting out of a fixed term tenancy can be really difficult, and sometimes you don’t find out landlords are cunts until it’s too late.

5. Inspections. Not more frequent than 4 weekly, unless it’s a follow up after an unsatisfactory inspection. Most landlord insurance requires a minimum of three-monthly inspections, so they’re not usually doing them that often just for fun. Routine inspections require 48 hours notice, and you can’t refuse them unless you have a good reason (not being there isn’t a good enough reason). Landlords can enter the yard without notice, but they can’t peep through the windows (that’d be a breach of quiet enjoyment).

6. Bonds. No more than 4x weekly rent, which must be lodged with MBIE. If your landlord doesn’t supply a bond lodgement form when you go to sign the tenancy agreement, don’t sign yet. Ask the landlord for one. If they refuse, don’t rent from them, they’re being dodgy. Be careful with your signature on the bond lodgement form, it will need to match exactly with the signature on the bond refund form at the end of the tenancy.

Acknowledgement of bond lodgement is usually via email (depends what’s on the form you sent in), keep this somewhere safe, the lodgement number is important. If your landlord withholds the bond at the end of the tenancy without reason, you can sign the refund form yourself (leave landlord’s part blank), MBIE will then try contact the landlord who has the option to either a) release bond in full, or b) go to the Tenancy Tribunal to claim part of the bond. If the bond was never lodged (and you’re already renting), don’t bother with the Tenancy Tribunal unless they try to keep the bond, debate how much was paid, or you’re going to the Tenancy Tribunal for something else (in which case, add a failure to lodge bond claim). The Tenancy Tribunal HATES landlords that don’t lodge bonds (interest earned on these are what pay their wages), and you’re likely to get up to $1,000 for their fuckup.

7. Issues. Don’t stop paying rent until agreed with the landlord, or ordered by the tenancy tribunal. No matter what the landlord has done wrong, you will also be in the wrong for not paying rent. If there’s a problem, email or call your landlord. If you call, record it with date stamp. If the response is unsatisfactory, issue a 14 day notice to rectify. Keep interactions professional and as friendly as is reasonable. You may want to (or have to) remain their tenant for a while yet, no point shitting on your own Snickers bar.

8. Letting fees. Are a bullshit landlord expense that the current law allows to be passed on to the tenant. This is almost always one week’s rent plus GST (15%). A private landlord can ONLY charge this if they are ordinarily considered a property manager (that means they’d consider property management to be their occupation). A landlord with a single property can’t justify charging a letting fee. Tell them to go jump. If the rental has been empty for a long time, consider asking them to drop the letting fee, the worst thing they can say is no. Don’t bother asking if you’re in Auckland or Wellington though.

9. Tenancy tribunal. ~$25 application fee to go to the Tenancy Tribunal, have evidence or don’t bother. It’s a relatively easy process, you can start everything online, then they will email you asking to go to mediation first (which you can refuse, but it generally makes you look more agreeable if you just do it). Mediation is fucking useless, they can’t make any judgements or rulings, it’s just a conference call with the landlord and mediator. If the landlord offers you exactly what you wanted the Tenancy Trubunal to rule on, and you can’t spare a weekday off work, then take it, otherwise consider taking them all the way to the tribunal, this will ensure their name (and yours) is listed on the orders database, which means everyone can read about what a fuckwit they are. This is the best way to weed out shitty landlords and property managers.

10. Joint and several liability. Thanks /u/anomalousmonist Do not sign a tenancy agreement with other tenants if you don’t know them. I mean really know them. It means that you can be held liable for damage caused your fuckwit flatmates, and their fuckwit friends (where they have been invited by your fuckwit flatmate). It means that, as one of several flatmates, you are severally liable for the full rent. (So it is your problem, not the landlord’s, if someone doesn’t pay their portion of rent into the flat account that week.) It also means if they disappear without signing the bond release form, you’re shit out of luck. Choose your flatmates carefully. Consider a flatmate agreement (written! Always written!) with a single head tenant on the lease. They can be kicked out much easier.

Finding a flat

Student regions and Auckland are super competitive. You may have to apply for dozens of places before you’re accepted.

My tips:

  • Consider writing a Renters CV (one for the whole group). Just a page long explaining who’s in your group, what each of you do, and some evidence that you’re responsible.
  • Don’t turn up at the start time for open viewings. Go a little later when it gets quieter. Speak to the landlord/property manager, you need to make a positive impression. Make them remember you.
  • Have your completed application, written references, proof of contents insurance, Renters CV etc ready to hand over at the viewing. Obviously don’t submit it if you think the place is a dive.
  • Two references minimum. Previous landlord is optimum, if you don’t have one ask your employer, or someone else that knows you in a professional capacity.
  • Use the viewing as an opportunity to interview the property manager/landlord. Bad ones can make your life difficult.
  • Take photos, write down any promises the property manager/landlord is making verbally – these are often later forgotten. Take a screenshot of the online listing.
  • Search the property management company name, property managers personal name, and the landlords name on the tribunal orders database and read up on any cases they’re involved in. The language used in the orders is fairly simple and will give you a good idea of whether they are going to be good to rent from or not. Don’t rent from a landlord/property manager that has rulings against them.

Moving in

Congratulations, you’ve been accepted. Now give us all the money.

  • Maximum sum you can be expected to pay: four weeks rent as bond, one week’s rent + 15 percent as a letting fee, and two weeks rent in advance. You don’t have to pay any more rent until that full two weeks has been used up.
  • More photos. All the damn photos. Every wall, floor, ceiling, surface, garden, lawns. Everything. If there’s any damage, close up photos and get the landlord to sign something declaring it was already there. Most property managers will do a move-in check with you, with a form they complete as they go. Do NOT rely on their photos.
  • Photograph the water meter (the lidded box buried somewhere in the front lawn). If you’re on tank water, check it’s full (to the top, see here.)
  • Store your tenancy documents somewhere safe.
  • Find out who you should contact in case of emergencies (burst pipes etc) outside of office hours. Locking yourself out isn’t an emergency on their part.
A typical Christchurch flat. Photo: Don Rowe.

Moving out

Good riddance, didn’t want you here anyway.

  • Provide the correct notice. Fixed term: advise in writing that you will not be renewing the tenancy at least three weeks before the end of the fixed term end date. You can provide more notice, but your end date won’t be any sooner than your agreed fixed term. Periodic: also three weeks from the date the notice can expect to be received (meaning, give a couple days grace if you’re posting it snail mail stylez).
  • Ask the landlord/property manager to do an exit inspection with you a couple of days before you’re due to move out. Get them to point out anything that’d affect your bond. Fix/clean/remove as necessary.
  • If they won’t inspect until you move out, you need to be your own inspector. You’re aiming for reasonably clean and tidy, and no damage. This is a big clean. Ovens, skirting boards, gardens, windows inside and out, not a single item or piece of rubbish left behind.
  • If there is something you’re unable to fix/clean/remove in time, get some professionals around to quote up the remedy ASAP. This way you’ll know if the LL is overcharging you. You have no right to access the property to remedy (or get your own quotes) once your tenancy has ended.
  • Take more dated photos.
  • Once they’ve done their inspection, they should tell you what’s happening with your bond. If they’re claiming something from the bond, your photos will prove them wrong. If they take too long getting the bond refund form to you (two weeks is too long) then you can download it yourself and complete the tenants information, leaving the LL section blank. MBIE will then contact the landlord who has two options: a) release bond in full, or b) make a claim for some of your bond through a Tenancy Tribunal application.

This section is made possible by Simplicity, the online nonprofit KiwiSaver plan that only charges members what it costs, nothing more. Simplicity is New Zealand’s fastest growing KiwiSaver scheme, saving its 10,500 plus investors more than $3.5 million annually. Simplicity donates 15% of management revenue to charity and has no investments in tobacco, nuclear weapons or landmines. It takes two minutes to join.