AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND – FEBRUARY 11: Halberg Award winners Hamish Bond (L) and Eric Murray (R)  hold the Halberg Award at the 2015 Halberg Awards at Vector Arena on February 11, 2015 in Auckland, New Zealand.  (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND – FEBRUARY 11: Halberg Award winners Hamish Bond (L) and Eric Murray (R) hold the Halberg Award at the 2015 Halberg Awards at Vector Arena on February 11, 2015 in Auckland, New Zealand. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)

SportsFebruary 18, 2016

James McOnie: The problem with the Halbergs

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND – FEBRUARY 11: Halberg Award winners Hamish Bond (L) and Eric Murray (R)  hold the Halberg Award at the 2015 Halberg Awards at Vector Arena on February 11, 2015 in Auckland, New Zealand.  (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND – FEBRUARY 11: Halberg Award winners Hamish Bond (L) and Eric Murray (R) hold the Halberg Award at the 2015 Halberg Awards at Vector Arena on February 11, 2015 in Auckland, New Zealand. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)

The Halberg Awards honour the best of the best in New Zealand sport today. James McOnie proposes a new award to honour the best there ever was.

Tomorrow night New Zealand sport’s glitterati (sporterati? jockerati?) will gather in Auckland for the Halberg Awards.It’s a swanky affair, the beef is good, and the athletes enjoy mixing with their peers. They also have to mix with tipsy corporates dressed to the nines and the sports media whose love for them is mostly conditional.

On top of all that they need to deal with conjecture. As soon as the first award winner is announced, debate starts to swirl. Naysayers coming in hot!

The Halberg Awards bring together glitz, glamour, and Eric Murray's moustache. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)
The Halberg Awards bring together glitz, glamour, and Eric Murray’s moustache. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)

I honestly don’t care too much who wins the Halberg. I like actual sport, the events where sport happens. Awards are simply part of the landscape and you’ll never please everyone. But plenty of people get really upset about who gets the statue. So if you win, you can look forward to reading how you didn’t deserve it.

Most of the nominees are there because they’ve generally had an Oscar moment (winning a medal, cup or a major) but this is a chance for the cherry on top. Some of them want it more than others and it would be unfair to say who, but generally the people who earn the least money from their sport want the Halberg more. And fair enough too — their sport is a labour of love and devotion. Plus it gives their sponsors exposure and more to crow about.

There hasn’t yet been a Kanye moment, where Mahe storms the stage, grabs the mic from Lydia and says “I’m happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Valerie is the greatest shot-putter of all time!” Maybe next year?

However, I would like to see one simple change: a legends award for those sporting greats who missed out on a Halberg to finally get a statue. Some of the awards would be posthumous (Bruce McLaren, Jack Lovelock, Anthony Wilding, Bob Fitzsimmons, George Nepia, aviator Jean Batten, super coach Arthur Lydiard). Others who never won include Sir Colin Meads, the 1967 All Blacks, Wynton Rufer, cricketer Debbie Hockley, the 1976 men’s hockey team to name just a few. And perhaps the most overlooked champion of them all, runner Marise Chamberlain.

The Cantabrian broke the world record for the 440 yards three times and the mile, and she won bronze in the 800m at the 1964 Tokyo Olympics. She was overlooked for the Rome Olympics four years earlier despite having similar talent to another young runner the selectors took a punt on: Peter Snell.

At the Halbergs there is a lifetime achievement award which can often go to an administrator who’s devoted their life to sport, a real trooper, but the night should also in some way honour the champions of the past who lit up the sporting arena, who left it all out on the field/court/track/water/rifle range/whatever. The Oscars and Grammys step in to honour their legends, even MTV has a “Should’ve won a Moon Man” category for overlooked brilliance.

Sir Colin Meads (centre) being a legend. (Photo by Leonard Burt/Central Press/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
Sir Colin Meads (centre) being a legend. (Photo by Leonard Burt/Central Press/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Our sports awards started life sounding as sexist as possible as the New Zealand Sportsman’s Trophy in 1949. The first winner was cricketer Bert Sutcliffe, but Yvette Williams was next and within 11 years recipients included Bob Charles, Peter Snell, Don Clarke and Murray Halberg. Back then the awards were run by NZ Sportsman magazine and in 1960, when the publication folded (presumably because it was too sexist), the awards came to an abrupt halt. In 1962 Bruce McLaren won the Monaco Grand Prix so he would’ve been a contender had the awards been held that year.

In 1963, a knight in shining armour arrived: The Halberg Disability Sport Foundation restarted the awards, and it was just one prize until 1987, when sportswoman, sportsman, team and coach became categories, each winner contesting the Supreme Award. (For the record, the winners in ’87 were Devoy, Hadlee, All Blacks, Lochore and All Blacks).

For 53 years Sir Murray’s incredible charity has kept the awards going and helped disabled people play sport. It’s legendary stuff. There is a New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame but its brief is broader and its profile isn’t huge (it’s in the Dunedin railway station…).

There’s still room for a more exclusive club.

And so I propose a Halberg Legends Award. It’s gold, it’s shiny (a Golden Halberg if you will) and when Sir Colin Meads finally gets his giant mitts on it, he’ll gruffly talk up everyone else but him. Everything will seem that much better and no-one will complain about it.


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A CADDY LADEN DOWN BY GOLF CLUBS AND INJUSTICE
A CADDY LADEN DOWN BY GOLF CLUBS AND INJUSTICE

SportsFebruary 16, 2016

How golf screws over its lowliest minions

A CADDY LADEN DOWN BY GOLF CLUBS AND INJUSTICE
A CADDY LADEN DOWN BY GOLF CLUBS AND INJUSTICE

Caddies are subjected to an avalanche of indignities. In return, they keep getting shafted by their filthy rich bosses. Greg Bruce pleads on behalf of golf’s little guys.

A CADDY LADEN DOWN BY GOLF CLUBS AND INJUSTICE
A CADDY LADEN DOWN BY GOLF CLUBS AND INJUSTICE

There is nothing in all of sport as cute and sad as a caddy. There they go, marching up the fairways, their little rounded backs bent at considerable angles against their heavy loads, leading to premature degenerative conditions.

We look at them and we can’t help but wonder, “What is life like for you?” Thanks to Steve Williams’s endless chitchat, our knowledge improved a little, but still we new nothing until last year, when a bunch of caddies filed a class action lawsuit against the PGA Tour.

The physical demands of the caddy’s job are nothing, it turns out. They are slaves to whoever they are working for – their “man”, as top golfers are unironically referred to on the men’s tour.

Caddies work hard as hell, but get repeatedly shafted. During a thunderstorm in a PGA tournament last year, while players whooped it up in the clubhouse, caddies were forced to take shelter in a metal shed.

That is not even a full step away from taking shelter in an electric chair during an execution in that chair.

This was just after caddies had filed the lawsuit, which is probably a bit more complicated than I’m about to make it sound but which basically comes down to them wanting $4 million per year from the advertising on the bibs they’re forced to wear each week. The bibs generate around $1 million of advertising revenue a week. How much of this $1 million a week do the caddies currently get? None.

In his ruling, last week, the judge wrote, “The caddies’ overall complaint about poor treatment by the Tour has merit, but this federal lawsuit about bibs does not.”

“Caddies have been required to wear the bibs for decades So caddies know when they enter the profession, that wearing a bib during tournaments is part of the job… for that reason, there is no merit to the caddies’’ contention that contracts somehow prevent the Tour from requiring them to wear bibs.”

I’m not sure that something being a certain way for decades makes it ok. Some things that have previously been a certain way for decades: child labour, sweatshop labour, forced labour, the Labour party.

Caddying has no job security. It’s easily the least secure job in the world. Caddies are sacked if players turn up to a tournament feeling a bit tired. It’s well paid if you’re at the very top, but most of the caddies hang out with guys ten times richer than them, get ordered around brusquely, and take shelter from electrocution in electricity-conducting structures.

For all that, the PGA Tour offers leading caddies a yearly health stipend of $2000, which, in the US, covers the cost of one chiropractor’s visit and a course of homeopathic cold medicine.

Caddies wanted $10,000 a year per qualifying caddy – only about 195 qualify – for health care and another $10,000 per year for a pension plan, totalling about $4 million a year.

I’m not going to guide you through the arcane legal bullshit of this whole affair, mostly because I don’t understand it.

I know one thing, and one thing only, and that’s the narrative of the little guy standing up to the big guy, and I will crusade for it every time.

If you take nothing else away from this caddy dispute, take this: PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem took home $4 million in bonuses in 2010, according to the most recent result I could find on the first page of Google search results. I don’t want to sound like a commie, but that’s exactly the amount the caddies were asking for, and I’m nothing if not solutions-oriented. I’m not denying that giving up his bonuses would be a big sacrifice, but if Finchem brought his lunch to work for a few weeks instead of buying Nandos, and took an Uber to work instead of the chopper, maybe it would be possible both for him to live on his reported 2008 salary of $1.3 million and for the children of caddies to get antibiotics for their ongoing respiratory infections.


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