New verse inasmuch it’s previously unpublished, but really it’s old verse cos it was written ages ago, by Wellington writer Hera Lindsay Bird.
Bruce Willis You Are The Ghost
It’s not that your wife doesn’t love you. It’s because you died and now you are a ghost and she can’t hear you talking to her. That time you saw her taking off her wedding ring? It’s because you’re her dead husband and she can’t continue to mourn your absence with heterosexual jewellery indefinitely. Stop haunting her already, Bruce Willis! Bruce Willis, it’s hard to be a ghost and not know you are a ghost. Haven’t you noticed that the only person you’ve talked to in a year is a supernaturally gifted child? Don’t you think it’s weird your wife just cries alone in the living room every night, rewatching your wedding tape and never looking or speaking to you? Don’t you remember being fatally shot in the stomach at the beginning of the movie? Walk towards the light, Bruce Willis. Walk towards the light.
Hera Lindsay Bird
The Spinoff Review of Books is brought to you by Unity Books.
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.