A new poem by poet and University of Waikato student Ethan Christensen.

Rural Insights

my counsellor was a lovely lady
said a lot over six free sessions about
breathing and feeling my feet planted firm
against the floor filling a blue balloon
in my chest cold water and vagus nerve

my doctor in some stroke of genius said
take as much valium as you need to sleep well
just worry about addiction later
we didnt know that was a poor plan but
we arent doctors arent chemist just boy and pills

my first nurse chirped away and preached
about his life as a catholic and ireland
and being tough or something but
i cant remember didnt care that much
i could still taste salt from my eyes

my psychiatrist said heartbroken but
shes seen brains far worse and
slightly looked away from the monitor
while dad told family history wife mellaril
anti this and that she kept on typing

my second nurse stayed around and did care
enough to overwrite the script when
i needed to swallow a couple more
said we might need to look at hospitals going forward
and i tensed and dwelled on a permanent fix

my mother said i love you my father
felt my tears stain his shirt leaving trenches
from son child whos never wanted attention
who cant manage to keep his head by himself
he hid blades and pills around the place

my psychologist said more than once its
good youre crying what youre describing would
be another problem if you werent its not weak
he has a wife and children and house on the coast
then he was relocated

but the sinew holding my muscles on
to my bones red blood cells fighting for space
in my brain and things ive tried to unlearn oh
for the years ive wasted in wishing for
some magic fix to live not just survive

the meat of me the veins and my eyes said
something someone
has got to stick

The Friday Poem is edited by Chris Tse. Submissions are currently closed.