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LightboxMay 30, 2016

Sing me a song of a mash that is gone – Thoughts from Outlander S02E08

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Our resident Outlander fanatic Tara Ward shares her thoughts from the much-anticipated return of time-travel romance series. Contains spoilers. And smoulders. 

Oh, Scotland. It’s you, it’s really you! How we’ve missed your honest green hills and your giardia-free waterways. Even Outlander show-runner Ron D. Moore was relieved to say adieu to miserable old France, replacing King Louis’ sauntering torso with happier images of potatoes and near-naked warriors.

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“Sing me a song/of a mash that is gone/say, could that mash be I”. That’s right, the Outlander opening credits now feature potatoes. It’s a great sign, because only good things happen when root vegetables are involved.

This week Jamie and Claire spent a delirious five minutes at Lallybroch reading French poetry to their new potatoes, before rocking over to Frasertown to persuade Jamie’s crank of a grandfather to join the Jacobite cause.

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Memorable moments of episode eight: Jamie’s hair was THE BEST, Claire’s knitted wardrobe was to die for, and Fergus rode a donkey. Classic Outlander hijinks! Imagine the hilarity if we’d had one hour of Fergus’ donkey exploits instead of nine million mind-numbing conversations about the Jacobite rebellion.

Can’t we just sit down to a nice potato-top pie and talk the whole ‘rule by divine right’ thing through? No? Right, let’s get straight it.

1) Forecast for Jamie’s hair: call a state of emergency

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Just jokes. This is actually a fox, because this episode is ‘The Fox’s Lair’, and Jamie’s grandfather is called ‘The Old Fox’. See what they did there? So clever.

2) Claire’s smiling, Jamie’s knees are glowing, and there’s so much happiness I think I’ll burst like a freshly baked potato

Stick some butter on me and I’m done.

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3) On behalf of these men’s mothers, please put another layer on 

Aren’t you cold? It’s SCOTLAND, for crying out loud.

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4) My family also like to fangirl over new potatoes

I’m serious. Potatoes are a gift from God, or the supermarket, or whatever else your modern-day belief system might be.

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5) Updated forecast on Jamie’s hair: season of golden weather

Goodbye France, land of unpredictable ponytails and upsetting beards, and och aye to Scotland, where every blessed hair on Jamie’s head stands golden and glorious. Not a curl out of place, not a fake whisker to be seen. Forget the Rebellion, Claire united the clans to fix Jamie’s hair. I salute you, General.

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6) “IT’S SO PEACEFUL HERE,” Claire yells over the loud rattle of a horse and cart

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7) Why didn’t Claire take a tub of Napisan back in time?

Memo to self for season three, Claz. Those shirts are disgusting.

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8) Laoghaire sniffing Jamie’s shirt is like Frank smelling Claire’s underclothes all over again

Seems fine? I’m sure it’s fine.

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9) Jamie tells Claire to keep her mouth shut at dinner

You say potato, she’ll say potahto. Good luck with that.

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10) If wars were won on hair alone then the Scots would be world champions

They’d also earn bonus points for scything your hay once the battle’s over.

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11) Flashing your boobs in the name of politics will always make up for nearly burning someone at the stake

Another outstanding Outlander life lesson.

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12) There’s no fox like an old fox foxily outfoxed in a foxy foxtrot

Jamie calls Simon Lovat his cousin but, if he’s The Old Fox’s son, doesn’t that make him Jamie’s Uncle Fox? Season two has way too many mammals to keep track of.

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Uncle Fox is a timid little sausage, but a quick ‘keek’ down Laoghaire’s top, a poetry recital and some dirty talk about mushrooms, and Simon joins Jamie’s Jacobite cause quicker than you can say “try it, you’ll Lovat”. Foxes are such fickle animals.

13) Jamie reckons he’d prefer to be a beast

A beast of a man, that is.

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14) Finally, the seer had a terrifying vision of Jamie’s episode 7 beard

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Pour yourself a dram and dive into the new season Outlander on Lightbox below (new episodes arriving every Sunday at 7pm)

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This content, like all television coverage we do at The Spinoff, is brought to you thanks to the excellent folk at Lightbox. Do us and yourself a favour by clicking here to start a FREE 30 day trial of this truly wonderful service.

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Convenience store glasses + high ves vest = British fashion icon
Convenience store glasses + high ves vest = British fashion icon

LightboxMay 27, 2016

A field guide to Happy Valley, the show that isn’t even a little bit happy

Convenience store glasses + high ves vest = British fashion icon
Convenience store glasses + high ves vest = British fashion icon

A police drama set in a West Yorkshire village may not sound like a must-watch, but Ethan Sills finds that Happy Valley is a surprisingly tense and graphic thriller that packs an emotional punch.

A police drama? Yawn! 

Happy Valley is not your regular British cop drama. This is more psychological than procedural, a cat-and-mouse chase met revenge thriller, dealing in some of the heaviest subjects you can put on TV. Think Taken, if Liam Neeson’s daughter was already dead and he was actually a grandma from the north of England.

This is the only television show that’s ever made me get to my feet and yell at the TV.

Intriguing. What’s the story?

The show revolves around Catherine Cawood: she may not be chasing after international crime syndicates, but she’s certainly got a particular set of skills. Talking people out of burning themselves alive and putting a stop to a plague of drug dealers is all in a day’s work for this police sergeant. She’s also casually juggling her violent grandson and a casual affair with her ex on the side.

Eight years earlier, Catherine’s daughter Becky was raped and committed suicide shortly after giving birth. Catherine and her ex-heroin addict sister Claire look after Becky’s son Ryan, his existence serving a reminder of the tragedy.

When Tommy Lee Royce – Becky’s rapist and Ryan’s father – gets out of prison, Catherine is put on edge as she tries to keep him away from her grandson.

There’s also got to be a crime. Timid accountant Kevin Watherill is enraged when he doesn’t get the pay rise he was hoping. Feeling betrayed after years of service, Kevin arranges for local criminal Ashley Cowgill to kidnap Neville’s daughter Ann for a ransom.

The only hitch is that Ashley’s latest hire is none other than Tommy Lee Royce, and Catherine is right on the convict’s tail.

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A woman with a very particular set of skills: Sarah Lanchashire as Catherine

Who’s involved?

Sarah Lancashire leads the show as Catherine. She’s won a BAFTA for Last Tango in Halifax and raked up an impressive collection of awards for her starring turn as our depressed police warrior. The opening scene of the series alone is enough to let you know each accolade was well earned.

Most likely to play a cinematic supervillain at some point, James Norton is notorious for playing pleasant men in period dramas such as in War and Peace, Grandchester and Life in Squares. But it’s his role as the quietly psychotic Tommy Lee Royce that earned him his big break as well as a BAFTA nomination. He’s something else entirely.

Guilty of more than just hair crimes: James Norton as Tommy Lee Royce
Guilty of more than just hair crimes: James Norton as Tommy Lee Royce

The show is written by one of the most prolific women in British television: Sally Wainwright, creator of hits like Scott and Bailey and Last Tango in Halifax. The latter won her a BAFTA for Best Drama Writing, an award she scooped up again for Happy Valley – as well as picking up the Best Drama Series gong.

Half of the first season is directed by Euros Lyn. He’s won Welsh BAFTAs for directing Doctor Who and Sherlock, and has episodes of Broadchurch, Daredevil, Black Mirror and Torchwood under his belt, so you can be rest assured that as violent as it can be, at least it looks good.

What’s the vibe?

Happy Valley is a difficult show to describe. At its core, it’s a police drama in the same vein as The Killing. The focus is on one crime across the season and – like every British TV show ever – there are only six fast-paced episodes to zip through.

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A bit darker than The Bill: Ann Gallagher stares into the face of evil

Just how happy is this valley?

Not very. It’s one of those ironic, puntastic titles – along the same lines as calling the main location ‘Paradise’ and then murdering everyone there. Grey clouds hang over every scene, while a bleak, colourless town serves as a backdrop to all the horrors that unfold.

I’ll be honest, the show is pretty bleak. Most characters on the show are suffering in some way, whether it be cancer or depression. You’ll rarely see anyone crack a smile as they discuss kidnap, rape and drug abuse. The trauma experienced by Catherine and her family seeps through every moment they are on screen.

There are two scenes in particular that highlight the intensity of the show. One, an unexpected and brutal murder scene, will make your blood run cold. The second, a showdown mid-way through the series, is explosively violent and gives you a real battering. I’m talking worse than anything Game of Thrones has ever served up.

I thought you were trying to make me watch this…

You should! Is it depressing? Yes. Is it violent? Yes. Is it brilliant? Definitely. You will be shocked, you will recoil at times, but it will only make you cheer even louder for Catherine.

Convenience store glasses + high ves vest = British fashion icon
Convenience store glasses + high ves vest = British fashion icon

How do I watch it?

All six episodes of the first series are available right now on Lightbox – once you’ve watched one, you won’t be able to stop. Just make sure you watch it when your house is empty so you can scream without fear of odd looks.

You better get in quick though: series two comes back to TV One on May 30th, airing Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays nights for a fortnight. This season’s got Juliet Hesmondhalgh (Coro’s Hayley), Matt ‘Neville Longbottom’ Lewis and his Potter co-star Shirley Henderson joining the cast – as for who returns, well, you’ll just have to watch and find out.


Click below to experience the thrills and chills of Happy Valley, with season one available on Lightbox:

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This content, like all television coverage we do at The Spinoff, is brought to you thanks to the excellent folk at Lightbox. Do us and yourself a favour by clicking here to start a FREE 30 day trial of this truly wonderful service.