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PartnersDecember 16, 2019

Decade in review: The 100 NZ TV moments of the decade (100-81)

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At 2pm every day this week, The Spinoff will be counting down 100 local television moments of the decade. Today, moments 100-81. 

100) Kiwi Steve makes it through to Conan, 2017

Not strictly local television, but this moment had about a one in a bajillion chance of ever happening, and yet somehow… it did. In the lead-up to the release of The Disaster Artist in 2017, a single billboard was erected in LA featuring James Franco as Tommy Wiseau and a mysterious hotline. Little did the general public know that the number connected with James Franco himself via a flip-phone, or that he occasionally answered it. Live on Conan, the flip phone started to ring and Franco decided to take it. It was only bloody Steve Newall, editor of Flicks, trying his luck during his lunch break in central Auckland. That’s the universe for ya – buzzy as hell. / Alex Casey

99) Live deep dive to nowhere, 2014

“Steinlager Pure were all in on William Trubridge’s attempt to break the record for deepest dive on a single breath, decorating Auckland with massive billboards. It never happened. The failure was absolute, a multi-pronged shambles of a presentation.” Like most things, it was partly Rawdon Christie’s fault. / Duncan Greive

98) Story’s story about the uncuttable ankle bracelets, 2016 

After Corrections tried to convince us that their new ankle monitoring bracelets were indestructible, it only took a pair of kitchen scissors and the brute force of a Story cameraman to prove them wrong. How embarrassment. / Tara Ward

97) Ally spews on Bachelor Winter Games, 2018

The Bachelor Winter Games was a huge moment for our local reality stars to shine on the world stage, but nobody performed quite like Ally Thompson from The Bachelor NZ S3. Right before a televised kissing competition (it’s fine it’s just romance), she shuffled away to vomit profusely in a nearby loo. Ever the kiwi battler, five minutes later she was back in front of the judges and pashing her crush without a care in the world. God defend our free land. / AC

96) Ed Sheeran on Shortland Street, 2014

Long before he pissed off everyone by popping up in Game of Thrones for no reason, Mr Ed trotted down to Ferndale to strum on a guitar at The IV for no reason. Also, remember when KJ Apa was just a Shorty kid and not an international jumbo Netflix superstar? Take me back. / AC

The Spinoff’s Decade in Review is presented in partnership with Lindauer Free*, the perfect accompaniment to end-of-decade celebrations for those looking to moderate their alcohol content (*contains no more than 0.5% alc/vol). 

95) Eric Young gives the backwards peace sign during the news, 2011

It was a private joke between colleagues that we weren’t supposed to see, but when Eric Young accidentally gave the ‘naughty fingers’ to the nation during the Prime nightly news, it proved more surprising than any Wellington rugby result. That was New Zealand today, this is Eric Young’s fingers tonight. / TW

94) The Project NZ’s la la launch, 2017 

It’s not the, it’s not the, it’s not the same old song and daaaaaaaaance. / TW

93) The Brokenwood Merveilleux, 2015

Our answer to The Midsomer Murders, the grisly intrigue of The Brokenwood Mysteries found itself an unexpectedly huge audience in France after premiering on network television there in 2015. Raking in an audience of over three million every week, I think I speak for everyone in both Brokenwood and New Zealand when I say this: allez les bleus. / AC

92) Hilary Barry loses her shit over an emergency defecation situation, 2016 

The only thing better than watching Hilz Baz on our screens is watching Hilz Baz struck down with an infectious case of the giggles, live on air. It was wrong on so many levels, yet like everything Hilary Barry did this decade, so right. / TW

91) Sonny Bill’s shirt rips, 2011 

“It makes me think that there is a higher power” an anonymous source told The Spinoff. / AC

90) The emancipation of Lily, 2017 

She was New Zealand’s most iconic furniture superhero, until 2017 delivered a thousand big sales and a brand new Lily. Old Lily disappeared into a blizzard of crazy prices, never to be seen again, and nothing seemed right with the world any more. / TW

89) The MKRNZ guy who looked heaps like Johnny Depp, 2017

Oh captain (sparrow) my captain (sparrow). / AC

88) The Block NZ’s Alex and Corban give Quinn & Ben $30,000 live on air, 2014

Back when people made money on The Block NZ, Alex and Corban stunned the nation during the live final when they announced they were giving some of their $307,000 winnings to losing contestants Quinn and Ben. Alex and Corban were officially out the gate, before being out the Block gate was even a thing. / TW  

87) What Now’s horror penis gunge monster, 2019

And you thought their Instagram page was forcing kids to grow up to soon. / AC

86) Leidy Lei screams “I’m fucked” on House of Drag, 2018

Has there ever been a more honest reality TV contestant in the moment? Leidy Lei rode the back of the pack to third place in the first season of House of Drag, despite a simultaneous lack of polish and apparent lack of realisation that the show shot during the day. Her exclamation was entirely correct, entirely spontaneous and if she doesn’t lip-sync to that moment every gig she has, it is an opportunity lost. / Sam Brooks

85) Mike Hosking tries the Chewbacca mask on Seven Sharp, 2016

“Despite Toni prying open the jaws of the mask to release the Chewie noise, Mike could only deliver some alarmingly shrill complaints from beneath the plastic. No laughs. No tears. No buoyant joy. He tossed the mask back to Toni, questioning the craftmanship of the product and its relative retail value. ‘You must have a weird chin,’ Toni suggested.” A wonderful time with good friends. / AC

84) Cooking with Late Night Big Breakfast, 2015

How did they get away with this? Is this cancelled? Is Nadia Lim cancelled? Are whisks cancelled? Am I cancelled for laughing at this every single time? Essential questions of life. / AC

83) Colin Mathura-Jeffree wears a meat dress at the VNZMAs, 2011

Can you even believe that Lady Gaga’s meat dress happened this decade? Everything happens so damn much, crazy to think that just eight years later Colin would find room temperature meat turning on him in a very different way. / AC

82) Camilla’s ponytail slides off on Dancing With the Stars NZ, 2019 

Forget Ariana Grande circa 2014. The real ponytail of the decade was the long one that slid off Camilla’s stumpy one circa 2019. It happened off-screen, but in true Nordic fashion, Camilla owned up to her ponytail clamouring for its own spinoff. And, in true unpredictable Tocker fashion, Julz held the stray platinum hair aloft like a trophy. It was a weird moment, and a reminder that sometimes even our extensions fail us. / SB

81) Trotie, 2011

Just a beaming boy, standing in front of a giant trophy, accidentally calling it a “trotie” in front of the entire world. The dubstep remix of John Key’s flub quickly took on a life of its own, forever a time capsule of the joyous wuuuub, wub wub wub viral videos of the early 2010s. Straight to the pool room – or should I say the trool tomb. / AC

Fresh and vibrant with a lingering finish, Lindauer Free* is a great choice for those that are looking to moderate their alcohol content as they celebrate the end of the decade and the start of the next but don’t want to sacrifice on flavour or fun.

*Contains no more than 0.5% alc/vol

Mad Chapman, Editor
Aotearoa continues to adapt to a new reality and The Spinoff is right there, sorting fact from fiction to bring you the latest updates and biggest stories. Help us continue this coverage, and so much more, by supporting The Spinoff Members.Madeleine Chapman, EditorJoin Members

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