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Would you look at the Pfizer that.
Would you look at the Pfizer that.

PoliticsAugust 6, 2021

Pictures of politicians getting their Covid vaccinations – reviewed

Would you look at the Pfizer that.
Would you look at the Pfizer that.

2021, we are told by Jacinda Ardern, is the year of the vaccine. And as the rollout gathers pace, we now have the pictures to prove it. Ben McKay critiques our leaders’ social media vaxpics and asks: whose shot of their shot is the shit? 

Litres of Pfizer’s finest are hitting the arms of New Zealand’s political class. Those MPs are then quick to post their pics to social media, role-modelling the importance of getting vaccinated to the rest of us mere mortals. However, like everything in politics, these pictures can not come without petty criticism.

Some have performed well. Strong lighting and government messaging will surely see the team of five million inspired to head to vaccination clinics in droves.

Others have performed less well. The revelation of untoned or poorly pigmented upper arms are not likely to be received well by Kiwi voters. On this basis – spoiler alert – The Spinoff expects to see Chris Hipkins booted by Remutaka voters in 2023. (Sidenote: I’d pay good money for a pic of Lisa Carrington being vaccinated.)  

Let’s start with the North Star for any New Zealand politician looking for influence, the thought-leader for political marketing.

Scott Morrison, Australia prime minister

A fitting place to start as Morrison chose not to wait for medical professionals or at-risk Aussies to get his hands on the vaccine. A pic that finally answers the question: does Scott Morrison like Australia? 8/10

Jacinda Ardern, New Zealand prime minister

After letting the border workers and nurses have their turn, Ardern stepped up, using the ‘stare into the void’ method, perfected from years of not answering questions on child poverty or housing affordability. It’s relatable stuff as Kiwis don’t know how to afford kids or houses either.

On advice, presumably to smile this time, the PM went and had another crack at the vaccine few weeks later. Points off for inconsistency. 4/10 

Chris Hipkins, Covid-19 response minister

Glad you’re enjoying yourself Chris but a lot to dislike here. The alarming pastiness. The obscured government slogan t-shirt. And blurring associate health minister Ayesha Verrall in the background, denying Labour’s star recruit a share of the limelight. Pure politics. 2/10

Judith Collins, National leader

Collins suggested to the PM the pair could get vaccinated together in a show of national unity (true story). Sadly her ambition was rebuffed, and she waited for her number to be called – much like her ascension to the party leadership. Alas! Collins was told they didn’t allow photos in the facility. Not good enough: she should have #DemandedTheDepiction. 3/10

David Seymour, ACT leader

Mr Popularity is never off script: adopting the rare nurse stare-down technique as he buries yet another key message talking point deep into the brain of his vaccinator. You don’t climb all the way to being 8.6% of New Zealanders’ preferred prime minister without missing these opportunities. 6/10

David’s back here with Brooke van Velden, ACT’s deputy leader, getting all Dancing With The Stars. Would have been nice to see the pair adopt the same arm movement, but hey, that’s freedom of expression. 7/10

Marama Davidson, Greens co-leader

We’ve always known Davidson is a real one. Not hiding your emotions and exactly how shit-scared you are? That’s real strength. Not sure it helps the rollout though. 5/10

Debbie Ngarewa-Packer, Māori Party leader

Unflappable energy from Ngarewa-Packer. May in fact be enjoying it? 8/10

Peeni Henare, Māori health minister

OK now we’re talking. The gym rat (and shameful omission from this uses the jab as a chance to – understandably – check out his own guns. 9/10

Chris Bishop, National Covid-19 spokesperson

In a rare engagement with media, Bishop put on his NZ Music Month t-shirt and did his bit for New Zealand’s rollout. It is understood Bishop checked his jab didn’t put New Zealand’s rollout ahead of Australia’s and deny him a crucial talking point – he’s learned with caucus to be careful when doing numbers. 4/10

Andrew Little, health minister

Smile, check. Prominent government messaging, check. Muscle definition on show, check. A strong pic from Little, showing the competency that earned him the health portfolio he so craved. 9/10

Golriz Ghahraman, Greens human rights spokesperson

Sorry but I’m not buying this. A vaccination photo must include a needle or health professional: the sticker doesn’t cut it. Anyone can post a sticker. 1/10

Ayesha Verrall, associate health minister

Another ticket to cabinet’s gun show. Verrall offering up a slight variation of Ardern’s void-stare, looking into the middle distance with a gaze that leaves you begging to know what she’s thinking. 8/10

Aupito William Sio, Pacific peoples minister

Strong support of government branding, displaying both the t-shirt and vaccine logo. Unless of course Sio is standing in front of an amyl nitrate banner? Either way, we like it. 7/10

Elizabeth Kerekere, Greens health spokeswoman

We’re dealing with a pro here. Unflinching on impact. Brings a cinematic “behind the scenes” vibe by leaving the camera in shot. One wonders if Kerekere’s commitment to purple branding so strong that she demanded vaccination space 1 and its purple sign. 9/10

Helen Clark, former prime minister

The good: celebrating the vaccinators, even if they obviously don’t want to be there. The bad: a missed opportunity to feast the eyes upon some of the greatest limbs ever known to New Zealand politics. 5/10

Nicola Willis, National housing spokeswoman

The look. The smile. The point. The positioning. Even the timing, out-doing Labour for big rainbow energy by posting this on the day of their conversion therapy law announcement. 11/10 exceptional

Julie Anne Genter, Greens transport spokeswoman

A journey rich with narrative. In the scene-setter, Genter poses for the camera. Then, new character “Howard” is introduced. Finally, the big reveal: she’s getting vaccinated. 9/10

And as a congratulations for getting to the end …

Ben Thomas, pundit and Spinoff contributor, after a long night

Good to see Thomas find some time between recording New Zealand’s only political podcast, the Spinoff’s own Gone Before Lunchtime, shitposting on Twitter, and his Finnish metal side project, to get his vaccination. This is Helsinki calling, 12 points.

Keep going!
parliament lgbtq pride flag

PoliticsAugust 6, 2021

Conversion therapy ban passes first hurdle in divided parliament

parliament lgbtq pride flag

A ban on conversion therapy is coming and it remains possible, just maybe, that parliament could pass the law unanimously in the end. Justin Giovannetti reports.

A proposed ban on conversion therapy passed its first reading at parliament yesterday following a tense debate where the chamber seemed unanimously opposed to the practice, but deeply divided on the government’s plan to end it.

The Labour bill was enthusiastically supposed by the Greens and Te Paati Māori, while begrudgingly so by an Act party concerned with some of the bill’s language.

National opposed the legislation during its first reading, citing fears the legislation could criminalise parents who do not support a child’s sexual identity or gender choices. The opposition has said it intends to work with Labour to clarify the bill’s intent in select committee over the coming months.

To the government, the bill is a clear statement in opposition to conversion therapy, a practice where someone actively tries to change someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity. 

While the contemporary practice largely revolves around religious groups who engage in speaking, prayer and occasionally exorcism, in the past it has included electroconvulsive shocks.

Justice minister Kris Faafoi, who introduced the bill, said all forms of so-called conversion therapy are unacceptable. “We want to make a very firm statement that conversion practices do not work. They cause harm for people going thorough the process of being who they are. That is why this piece of legislation is before the house,” he said.

Under the bill, someone could be jailed for up to three years for performing conversion therapy on someone under 18 and up to five years if they cause serious harm, regardless of age.

Responding to the opposition’s concerns, Faafoi said that the bill would require the attorney-general signing off on a court action against anyone, including a parent, and that they would need to show they intended “harm or serious harm”. Less serious cases would go to the human rights commission.

Simon Bridges, National’s justice spokesperson, led the party’s response. He spoke to cries of “shame” in the house. 

“People should be free to be who they want to be and love who they want to love. There is one major sticking point, however, which means that although we want to be supportive, we’re opposing this law until it is amended,” said Bridges.

As he spoke, deputy prime minister Grant Robertson’s voice boomed: “Absolute nonsense.” The speaker asked the Labour bench to quiet down because she couldn’t hear Bridges, a request repeated several more times over the following hour.

“Good parenting will be criminalised, facing up to five years in prison for being parents to children under 18. The members opposite yell at me, but that’s what Kris Faafoi said on Newstalk ZB and it’s wrong. Parents should be allowed to be parents,” claimed Bridges.

Speaking to ZB recently, Faafoi struggled to explain whether a parent who forbade their child from taking puberty blockers might be investigated by the police and prosecuted. He said it wasn’t the purpose of the bill, but wouldn’t say whether it would be illegal.

Act’s Nicole McKee, who shared many of Bridges’ concerns but voted to push the bill through its first phase summarised the minister’s view as “it wouldn’t be cool” if parents were prosecuted. Act has said it wouldn’t support the bill further unless it is amended. Labour controls five of the nine votes on the committee that will look at the bill next.

“We are opposing this bill until Kris Faafoi does the right thing,” said Bridges.

Next to speak was Ayesha Verrall, a Labour minister and medical doctor. She pointed to the National benches and said they were refusing to vote to reduce suicides. “They are voting against a very practical measure that would make a difference to many New Zealanders,” she said. “I listened to Mr Bridges’ comments. He didn’t really talk about conversion therapy at all, I will talk about conversion therapy.”

In that line, Verrall summarised how much of the next hour would go. The government focused on the practice while National spoke about the bill’s language. “Conversion therapy is monstrous, it is not therapy, it is hate,” she said.

“Conversion therapy is about trying to erase someone’s identity, it is about saying that part of you is defective, and we want to root it out…lots of people complain about being cancelled over trivial matters and disagreements. But conversion therapy is actually cancelling someone,” she said.

Verrall dismissed the opposition’s concerns as “technical objections”. She said National “want to fear monger about parts not in the bill”. 

Later during the debate, Green MP Chlöe Swarbrick called a point of order to table the bill itself again in the house, because she contended that Bridges hadn’t read it. Her point of order was rejected.

National MP Louise Upston said she agreed with 95% of what Verrall said, but had to disagree about the wording of the bill. “One of the challenges when we are in parliament is we’re actually debating what is in the bill, as opposed to what the intent of the original bill was,” she said.

“I think that’s a big part of the frustration for the National party is, because we absolutely condemn conversion therapy, we condemn abusive practices that prevent someone from being who they are,” said Upston, to a shower of boos from the Labour bench.

“I want to make it very clear that the National party wants to support the bill, but the issue that was raised, and the minister has not been able to answer, was the prosecution of parents,” Upston continued. “To be responsible parliamentarians we have to look at what the bill actually says. So we implore the government to fix the problem and not create new ones… We want a bill that can be unanimously passed through this parliament and the sticking point is parents.”

The youth wing of National called for the party’s MPs to follow Act’s example and vote for the bill and tackle the details in select committee. With the bill now moving to committee, despite National’s first vote against it, there’s still a possibility that a final amended piece of legislation receives the unanimous support of New Zealand’s parliament.

Politics