You won’t need much more than two minutes to get through the meagre arts policies on the table this election. See Policy.nz for more.

See more from our policy in two minutes series here.

Last week’s arts debate revealed the paucity of policies detailed by our political parties this election, with only two of the four represented parties having actual policies and commitments to bring to the table. Over a week later, just days out from the election, there is little more information to be gleaned on what a potential government might have in store for the arts, culture and heritage sector.

As of writing, neither National or New Zealand First have any policies on these topics. Act, Te Pāti Māori and New Zealand First did not attend the arts debate last week, while National’s arts, culture and heritage spokesperson Simon O’Connor admitted the party had not had the bandwidth to prepare them.

The arts, culture and heritage policies from the four parties that do have them are detailed below, in alphabetical order.

Act

In a statement provided to arts and culture news site The Big Idea, the Act Party said it would like to see arts funding invested in a more diverse range of art for all New Zealanders. That would include recognising a variety of Asian cultures and especially those living in disadvantaged communities or isolated locations, with “value” being placed on projects which allow a wide range of communities to participate in the arts.

After meeting the needs of those communities, the party believes that arts funding applications should be tied to how much private philanthropy, corporate sponsorship or expected ticket sales they have, to ensure that supported arts are going to appeal to the public “as much as possible”. Act wants government funds currently directed to “large public sector payrolls” at culture agencies and screen production grants for “multinational corporations” directed instead to funding local artists, and would like to reform the ways arts and culture grants are run to avoid current bureaucracy.

In regards to arts education, Act wants an education system that supports “the diverse needs of children”, and for families to be able to choose to enrol their children in schools with strong arts opportunities. The party supports students studying arts at a tertiary level should they wish. 

Under Act, Creative New Zealand would not fund projects which promote or glorify violence or racism. (This appears to be a specific reference to Act leader David Seymour’s multiple criticisms of the work of award-winning poet Tusiata Avia.)

The Green Party

The Greens’ manifesto states that they would ensure better working conditions, more certainty and greater opportunities for Aotearoa’s artists and creatives. 

As mentioned during the arts debate, they support replacing arts funding from gambling revenue with stable investment indexed to inflation.

Outside of this, the party wishes to ensure that all publicly funded projects pay “at least” the living wage to artists, and expand paid artist residencies. This support would include providing stable funding for cultural organisations and events nationally, with long-term funding commitments for initiatives such as Te Matatini and the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra.

The Greens also plan to ensure that there are a range of creative education and training opportunities to support and expand the local creative sector, including an increase of resources for student, community Māori and Pasifika media and radio. More broadly, they also support increased funding for “quality, non-commercial” public media that nurtures and promotes local talent, reflecting the “unique social and cultural diversity” of Aotearoa.

Finally, they also support the repatriation of taonga currently in galleries, museums and private collections overseas back to iwi, hapū and whānau Māori.

Labour

A re-elected Labour government would explore an Aotearoa arts strategy, invest in a permanent programme to support local artists to have sustainable careers, deliver the Erebus memorial and the St James refurbish, and continue to support nationwide and regional cultural entities such as Creative NZ, the NZ Film Commission and Ngā Taonga Sound and Vision. 

The party would consider funding iwi and hapū to protect and display taonga tūturu (protected objects that whakapapa to te ao Māori)

Te Pāti Māori

Te Pāti Māori would allocate $19 million to Te Matatini and $10 million to community, hapū and iwi development of kapa haka and similar art forms. It would also establish a $10 million research fund to better understand how toi Māori contributes to wellbeing.

The party wants to establish an independent toi Māori entity dedicated to the “protection and projection” of all toi Māori, at an estimated cost of $57m. This entity would sit on the Lottery Grants Board and receive equal funding to Creative NZ.

In the final instalment of our campaign style series, Orange Guy vies for your vote by mopping up their sweat on a walk with pricey Pup.

Orange Guy came into being in 2009 to encourage young people to vote. Since then, clothing has been sparse, but fits have been strong. You don’t need to wear a lot when you’re orange and have no discernible genitals or other orifices. We can safely assume that Orange Guy doesn’t get cold or sunburnt. That means everything they wear is chosen not for the sake of covering up or practical purposes, but for pure style. This election season, they’ve chosen to wear just three bands of towelling.

Striped sweatband set

The towelly bands adorning Orange Guy’s head and wrists look extremely absorbent. This is good because although they’re smiling, you can tell they’re in a rush and polling booths generally don’t have showers. Body language is always more telling than whatever is going on on a person’s face, said some trash online article when I was in my formative years and trying to learn about social cues. The catch is you should look mostly at a person’s face when they’re talking to you. Perhaps sweatbands are handy not only when we’re running, but also sweating under social pressure.

In the physical realm, the colourway Orange Guy wears is not available. Instead I have found this red/yellow/blue striped set on Aliexpress. I know these cheap fast fashion giants are not great to buy from, but strangely, I could not find any higher quality stripey sweatband sets. 

Chest tattoo

Orange Guy’s sole purpose in life is to get you to vote. Their chunky feet, fingerless hands, square but still cute eyes and relentless smile are all in the service of democracy. It is painful to smile all the time no matter what the voter turnout is, but perhaps not as painful as a large and heavy chest tattoo. 

“Something like this would definitely sting as much as the amount of young voters that are not enrolled or choose not to vote,” says a spokesperson from Ōtautahi Tattoo. The price of a tattoo depends on its size and its “hard to size a cartoon”. If they are an average size, and the tattoo covered the whole chest, it would likely take a whole day and cost $1,400.

So what is it that you dedicate your life to? It could be adding up numbers (in which case maybe a picture of a calculator), dairy farming (a glass of milk), looking after your kids (a realistic rendition of their baby photos), terrorising other road users with your SUV (big tyre marks). Whatever it is, get it tattooed on your chest, nipple to nipple, and in heavy bold lines.

Pup

In 2020, a four-legged un-furry companion, Pup, appeared alongside Orange Guy. Pup was part of a branding refresh by Auckland ad agency FCB. After numerous requests from 1 News, the Electoral Commission costed Pup’s existence at $13,000. 

The Electoral Commission said he was modelled on a Jack Russell and a Dachshund, making him “inquisitive, smart and full of enthusiasm.” I’d say he was also modelled after Orange Guy. It’s best to choose a pet that looks like you. Set a 15-minute timer on your phone and stare into the mirror and try to see your soul. If you’re inquisitive but cute, Taylor is waiting to be adopted. If you have uneven skin tone and a sensitive soul, Ronnie could be your perfect companion. If you’re a petite female quail, Dart is looking for you and his adoption fee is only $20. If you can’t see a soul, get a cat.

Other notable fits

In 2022, Orange Guy donned a hat and gum boots to celebrate 25 years of MMP. The fit was a tribute to Wal of Footrot Flats, who preceded Orange Guy in a 1996 advertising campaign. Orange Guy has also been spotted in a pink helmet riding a scooter and a bike. 

In 2011, Orange guy morphed their body into a dress shape and looked absolutely cursed. Apparently it was done to celebrate Women’s Suffrage Day. It is unclear why the legs are so truncated or why the dress could not have been made of fabric rather than Orange Guy’s flesh. “I don’t know why I didn’t try one of these on AGES ago!” they said, which suggests that Orange Guy is wearing clothes all the time, they’re just the exact shape of a smooth, naked body. 

Verdict: Assuming their chest is an average size, Orange Guy’s fit would have cost $14,409.75, but you don’t have to pay this much. The SPCA’s adoption fee for a living, breathing, furry dog is $250, a fraction of Pup’s ad agency rates. By law, humans will have to add a few items to this outfit. Orange Guy, however, is a minimalist who looks and feels good in their own skin, unbound by indecency laws and untainted by advertising from the fashion, beauty and fitness industries. Lucky.