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Nic Sampson
The many faces of The Brokenwood Mysteries’ Detective Constable Sam Breen, and the man who plays him, Nic Sampson.

Pop CultureJune 13, 2021

A farewell to Brokenwood detective Sam Breen, from the man who plays him

Nic Sampson
The many faces of The Brokenwood Mysteries’ Detective Constable Sam Breen, and the man who plays him, Nic Sampson.

Nic Sampson has played beloved detective constable Sam Breen on The Brokenwood Mysteries for seven seasons, but it’s time to say goodbye.

Due to a little incident called the global pandemic, I had to leave The Brokenwood Mysteries this season for the green pastures of my new home in the UK. If you haven’t heard of it, The Brokenwood Mysteries is a Kiwi murder mystery show, and it’s quite good. If you’re a fan – spoiler alert – Detective Constable Sam Breen is leaving this season.

I’m going to miss Brokenwood, a bucolic small town with an undefined, changeable topography and an eye-watering murder rate, a great deal. My advice for surviving there: don’t join any clubs.

Sam Breen is a man of simple tastes. He likes Xbox, ice cream, rugby, and shiny suits from Barkers. Breen is deathly afraid of spiders and distrustful of clowns, actors, steampunks, homeopaths, naturists, circus strongmen, beekeepers and hippies.

As the lowest ranking detective in the Brokenwood CIB, Breen is often sent to follow up the leads nobody else wants. This has seen him pelted with motor oil, covered in rubbish, and smeared with possum fat in the line of duty.

Breen has been involved in shootouts, foot chases, car chases, boat chases and hot air balloon chases. He was also, very briefly, crucified. Breen has a girlfriend called Roxy, who we never get to meet. It’s entirely possible that she doesn’t exist.

Nic Sampson/Sam Breen at his farewell party. (Photo: South Pacific Pictures)

By my count Breen has worked at least 26 murder cases in Brokenwood – not counting the ones that happen off screen and are solved too quickly to warrant their own episode of television. The question could be asked: are the cops of Brokenwood doing enough work in murder prevention? Maybe they should offer community anger management courses? At the very least they could be distributing some pamphlets. 

We’re entering into the seventh season now, which is kind of wild in New Zealand. The natural response once you finish one season of a show is to clap each other on the back and say, “Well, we had a good run, I’m going to see if I can get my job back at The Coffee Club.” But somehow Brokenwood just keeps going, and not only that, it has quietly become one of the most internationally successful shows we’ve made. 

People love a good murder mystery obviously, but I think what separates The Brokenwood Mysteries from other sad murder-town shows is it’s packed with gentle, offbeat comedy. It’s murder, but like, chill.

My favourite Brokenwood scenes to shoot were probably also the hardest. Like the scenes in the CIB, where Mike, Kristin and Breen gather around the board of mystery with a cup of Kristin’s disgusting coffee to discuss the latest developments in the case. They’re tough because they always had massive chunks of technical dialogue to remember and we usually shot eight of them in one day, back-to-back. It’s hard work. Harder, I’m fairly confident, than solving an actual murder. But I love them as well because it’s where the show really crackles with the humour and affection these characters have for each other.

I adore my friends Fern Sutherland and Neill Rea. They are fantastic, brilliant actors, and nothing brings me joy quite like making them laugh during a scene.

What’s also been great about the show running for so long is the world of Brokenwood keeps growing. Like Springfield in The Simpsons, recurring characters grow and become fan favourites – Gina, Mrs Marlow, Frodo, Ray the publican, Kimberley, Neil Bloom the chemist/Mayor. We keep bringing them back because the actors are just so damn fun.

Fern Sutherland, Neill Rea and Nic Sampson in The Brokenwood Mysteries. (Photo: SPP)

My personal favourite Brokenwood Mystery is, selfishly, episode one of season six. The Steampunk one. Head writer Tim Balme and I wrote it together and it grew out of the time I found myself in Ōamaru during the middle of their annual Steampunk festival. It’s apparently one of the largest in the world, and I will absolutely take their word for it. Walking through the historic old town, passing grown adults wearing Victorian dresses and top hats with futuristic goggles, fire sticks and toy guns spray-painted bronze, it affirmed my belief that middle-aged white people will simply lose their minds if left to their own devices. I also thought it would be a great setting for a murder.

Tim and I had a blast writing it and we put in as much cool stuff as we could think of: an exploding portaloo, a shootout, a pet store, a massive miniature train set, a hot air balloon. I always assumed most of this would be cut for budget reasons, but somehow it all made it in. We even wrote a corgi into a bunch of scenes who would prove to be an adorable nightmare.

The first night of shooting was on a farm out in Helensville and I remember turning up and being blown away. The art department had transformed a cow shed into a full-noise Steampunk party: stacks of twisted machinery, cauldrons of dry ice, shelves lined with bottles of coloured liquid. And then outside, police cars, ambulances, and a fire engine parked near the charred, flaming wreckage of an exploded portaloo – our subtle murder weapon. Steampunks wandered dazed around the crater ala Saving Private Ryan. A stream of toilet paper hung from the trees. A severed Steampunk arm lay on the ground.

This, I thought, was television

I’m very proud to be a part of this show, to have worked with the loveliest crews and directors and actors around and, though I wish my replacement Jarod Rawiri nothing but ill will, I can’t wait to see where it goes. I wish Breen and Roxy all the best. Every time I pass a weird shiny suit in the window of Barkers I will think of him and smile.

Here’s a trailer I made for the show if it was a ’90’s sitcom for no reason:

The seventh season of The Brokenwood Mysteries airs on TVNZ 1 tonight at 8.30pm, and weekly on Sundays thereafter.

Yes, that’s a balloon animal. On RuPaul’s Drag Race. (Photo: TVNZ)
Yes, that’s a balloon animal. On RuPaul’s Drag Race. (Photo: TVNZ)

Pop CultureJune 12, 2021

Drag Race Down Under power rankings: Welcome to the talent-free talent show

Yes, that’s a balloon animal. On RuPaul’s Drag Race. (Photo: TVNZ)
Yes, that’s a balloon animal. On RuPaul’s Drag Race. (Photo: TVNZ)

This week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under yanks a challenge from All Stars, with middling results.

It may not always have been clear from my recaps, but I’ve generally enjoyed this season of Drag Race. Putting aside the issues with casting, this has been a refreshing set of queens who have given us a peek into what drag means down under. However, one issue has plagued the season, and it’s an entirely avoidable one: The challenges just don’t seem to fit the queens.

The only queens to completely nail an assignment all season have been Kita, with last week’s makeover challenge, and Anita, with Snatch Game. The rest have won by rising ever-so-slightly above the rest – or, to be blunt, not being as bad as everybody else. It’s a shame, and I think a poor reflection of these queens’ actual talent. More importantly, it’s a reminder that drag and Drag Race are not the same thing; being a great drag queen is not the same as being a great Drag Race contestant. No season of the show has made that more clear than this one, and perhaps no episode has made it more clear than tonight’s.

Bringing in the talent show challenge – now the standard opening challenge of the All Stars season – is in theory a great way for the queens to showcase what got them on the show on the first place. Not for the first time, the theory does not meet the practice.

Me, after posting this piece. (Photo: TVNZ)

Balloon animals. Quick change magic. Fitting lots of stuff in your mouth. Pole-dancing. Contemporary dance. These are the five talents the queens bring to the table. With the exception of Scarlet Adams mastering the pole like Jennifer Lopez in Hustlers, each of these queens basically bows out from the win the moment they pick their talent. I’ll assess why when we get to the power rankings, but when your talent makes an audience go, “huh neat!” rather than “omg wow!”, you might not have correctly assessed what you need to win a competition.

The runway – the theme is “how’s your head?” which means the queens… put things on their head, I suppose – is much better. We’ve got four of the best looks of the season here, and Elektra. Kita’s is my favourite: it’s the kind of android anime realness that we haven’t seen much of before, and it shows that Kita has the versatility to branch out from the manic, high energy, persona she normally has into something weirder and more severe. Scarlet, largely thanks to being the only one to impress with her challenge, ekes out a win, and RuPaul sends both Elektra and Kita to the bottom.

And oof, this lip-sync. I’ll bring in my own personal experience for the first and hopefully last time during these recaps: I have lip-synced, many times, to The Veronicas’ ‘Untouched’. It’s one of the best pop songs of the 21st century (take any disagreements directly to a brick wall), but those verses are absolutely killer, with The Veronicas overlapping each other with a flow that would make Nicki Minaj reach for an inhaler. Elektra has a fun psyche-out at the start, but the rest of the lip-sync is mostly fine: Kita Mean is stuck on the spot in platforms that look like they weigh a metric fuckton, and Elektra relies on the high energy choreography that she has brought to every single episode thus far. Elektra goes home, once more proving that lip-sync assassins don’t win seasons, and we march onto a top four with a frontrunner whose racist scandal is heavier than any crown that could be laid upon her head.

Fun!

ELIMINATED: Elektra Shock

Elektra has been a gift to Drag Race Down Under: she’s given the show a proper narrative to follow, thanks to consistent growth throughout the competition. But growth can only take you so far, and even in a season that has only just been able to anoint a frontrunner, it’s not enough to get the win. There’s still unlikeable defensiveness to Elektra that shows there’s room left to grow: when each of the queens names her as the one they think should go home, they’re clearly reluctant to soften the blow. Elektra, unfortunately, has to go last and immediately names Art Simone with a sourness that indicates that she has not yet learned the recipe for lemonade.

When it comes to the challenge, I believe that if Elektra had done something that wasn’t dance-related – and no shade here, she is clearly a great dancer and her contemporary dance piece is stunning to look at – she’d still be in the competition. The judges love her, and have clearly loved seeing her respond to their critiques, but alas: a great dancer does not a Drag Race superstar make, and dancing’s got nothing to do with those damn wigs either.

4. Karen from Finance

Karen! You made one balloon animal! If your bit in the talent show can be superseded by a clown you hire last minute for your kid’s birthday party on a Sunday morning, reconsider! You’ve been coasting the entire competition, how could you possibly think that making one balloon dog would impress the judges on the penultimate episode of Drag Race?! And, look, now I’m no better than a drunk twink on K’Rd, screaming at a drag queen who does not owe me a single thing.

Anyway, loved the outfit. She’s beautiful, I still want more from her. With one episode left, it’s looking increasingly unlikely that Drag Race will be where I get it.

3. Kita Mean

I’m also going to be a bit harsh on Kita here: Quick changes are impressive. They are also something that queens do on the runway… a lot. The reveal has been a mainstay of this particular runway for at least a decade, and within drag for much longer. It’s cool and fun, but doesn’t make her stand out from the rest, especially when the garments she’s changing are not especially spectacular.

Love this look a lot, though! The right mixture of editorial and nerdery that is my particular sweet spot.

2. Scarlet Adams

Poor Scarlet Adams, whose every mention that it was her first time doing this trick was included in the edit. We get it! It’s dangerous! But also, her warnings did mean we all understood she was taking a risk with that upside down split, and taking that risk was enough to give her the win. Hers was the only talent that involved any bravery whatsoever, and that’s not great. This is a competition! You should take a risk! You should step up!

Look what you did, Drag Race Down Under. Now I’ve used up The Spinoff’s daily allotment of exclamation marks. Anyway, her look was also classic Scarlet: beautiful, lovely, expensive. Not only is she the only queen to have multiple wins to her name, now she’s got three of them. It’ll be interesting to see if this show wants to crown her given the scandals in her past. History suggests yes, and frankly, I don’t want to be on my corner of the internet when that happens.

1. Art Simone

Reader, these rankings are all subjective. And Art Simone shoving a bunch of food into her mouth, followed by her fist, is honestly the funniest thing I’ve seen all season. I laughed, and laughed, and laughed at my desk like a damn fool. I get why the judges didn’t give her the win, but she is my number one forever and always (or at least this week).

I’ll correct myself: two queens risked something. Scarlet risked her body, Art risked her windpipe. That’s what it takes to win Drag Race, ladies and otherly identified.


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