Pop CultureJuly 22, 2018

Survivor NZ, week 14: Swan towels were the winner on the day


There’s one more week to go on Survivor NZ, let’s get back in the drink.

This season of Survivor NZ is keeping us on the edge of our seat right to the bloody end. This week we found out which three survivors would make it to the final tribal council, and face the jury of players they’ve voted out over the past few weeks. With the live final next week, we’re literally just a few sleeps away from finding out who our second ever sole Survivor will be, and who will be a quarter of a million dollars richer.

Tara Doesn’t Quite Get the Numbers

With Tess winning immunity for a second time in a row this week, Dave, Lisa and Tara’s games were thrown up in the air, as the tight three had to pick off one of their own.

Tess approached all three for some strat chat, but it seems like Tara hadn’t quite figured out the numbers of the whole situation. Tess asked if she would consider voting out Dave, but Tara wasn’t going to betray the deal she made with Dave. So Tess asked again, “Who would you be able to vote out then?” It became quite clear that Tara wasn’t aware there was literally only one other option, as she responded “Uhhhh… I don’t know.”

The mechanics of a two-option decision were a little tricky to grasp.

The Swan Towels

Dave was the winner of the final reward challenge this week, and he chose Tara to join him on his prize, which was a night at a luxury hotel.

The hotel was worlds apart from their regular bamboo-clad lodgings, but I think the highlight had to have been the delightful towel art.

These towels were the star of the episode, in my humble opinion. If I was in the jury, the swan towels would absolutely have my vote.

This is MY final four.

Dave Gets Stung… Literally

The immunity challenge this week seemed especially painful, with the survivors dangling below a beam like sloths.

As if the pain of hanging like that for an hour wasn’t enough, Dave was stung by the gnarliest looking wasp. That thing was the stuff of bloody nightmares and I honestly don’t think I want to leave the house ever again knowing that these things exist.

The star of my nightmares for the next few weeks.

Worst of all, old mate Matt wouldn’t even help Dave out to remove the sting. So stink, bro.

With just Dave and Tess left, Matt asked Tara and Lisa who they wanted to win, and Tara’s response was perfectly on brand for her, stating pretty bluntly that she wanted Dave, not Tess to win. Tess wasn’t surprised, but Tara tried to backtrack, and Tess wasn’t bloody having it.

In the end, Tess came through and secured herself a spot in the final three.

Strat Chat

With Tess winning immunity, the remaining three were left to convince Tess why they’d be the best person for her to take to the Jury. Well, at least that’s what I was expecting, but instead Tara and Dave were weirdly standoffish and grumpy with Tess.

Tess really can’t hide how disinterested she is in this conversion.

Tess called Dave out on his earlier empty promise to vote with her, which she saw right through, and Dave got weirdly aggressive with Tess. If it weren’t for Tara’s martyrdom, Dave certainly would have been sitting on the jury next week. It seemed like Lisa was the only one to actually make a case to Tess why she would be better to sit next to than Dave at the final tribal.

Tribal Council

At tribal, Matt asks everyone a bit about how they decide who to vote for with so few people left. Tess is thinking about who she has the best chance against at the final tribal, while Tara still hasn’t grasped the nature of numbers. Matt asked about Tara’s comment at the challenge, that Tess and Dave both deserved to be in the final three. “Does that mean you think either you or Lisa should go home?” “Maybe, maybe not”.

We’re all as confused as Matt tbh.

Blindside Rating: -5/10

We’re in the bloody negatives this week. Tara master planned her own elimination, as one final way to remind Tess that she still wasn’t in control of this game. To be fair, it was a pretty decent blindside in magnitude, but does it really count if it’s an own-goal?

Jury Villa Bonus!

Looks like there’s been some drama over at Jury Villa this week, as we got a snippet of the action in the main episode. News is spreading about Matt and Dave’s existing friendships, and judging by the soundbites we heard, the Jury isn’t too happy about it. I’m bloody excited to see how this final plays out.

Shit’s going down at the Villa this week.

Chisholm-ism of the week

“Another ripper challenge”. That’s all the challenges done and dusted (by Tara) for the season.

Survivor NZ Quick Stats

7 – The number of Jury members that Dave, Tess and Lisa have to convince to vote for them.
20% – The amount of tax the winner will have to pay on their prize money (I think)
7 – days until we have our second winner of Survivor NZ!

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