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Image: Tina Tiller
Image: Tina Tiller

OPINIONSocietyDecember 3, 2021

Barbados has ditched the queen for… Rihanna. Who would NZ choose?

Image: Tina Tiller
Image: Tina Tiller

Shifting to a republic requires some serious constitutional contemplation, which Aotearoa should probably get on with. But, if we follow the model of Barbados, there’s an even more important decision to make. 

At midnight on Tuesday, 55 years after declaring its independence from Britain, Barbados became a republic by renouncing the Queen as its head of state and replacing her with a parliamentary-elected, Barbados-born president.

At the risk of rehashing an old beef, I guess the prospect of having a Donald Trump-like figure rise to power just wasn’t enough to convince them of the benefits of retaining Queen Liz (and then King Charles, or William, or whomever) as their head of state. Rather, as Barbadian poet Winston Farrell said at the ceremony to mark the change, “It is about us, rising out of the cane fields, reclaiming our history.”

Of course, Barbados has some pretty strong reasons for wanting to sever any remaining symbolic connections with the British empire (*cough* slavery *cough*). But we here in Aotearoa have our own complicated history with colonialism that makes our lingering constitutional links to the United Kingdom pretty suspect. And, really, when you look at the smattering of places around the globe that just haven’t got around to cutting that final colonial cord, our failure to do so does look a little bit lazy.

For that reason alone, Jacinda Ardern’s prediction that this country will become a republic “within my lifetime” doesn’t seem a particularly brave one to me – especially given that as a 41-year-old woman, she ought to expect to be around for at least another four decades. Equally, though, she’s probably right that it isn’t really an issue that people particularly care about, while a majority of those who have an opinion seem happy to perpetuate the status quo. One day we’ll do the sort of heavy-lifting constitutional contemplation needed to support a shift to a republic. But it won’t be today, nor tomorrow, and maybe not even until Ardern is in the midst of planning her 50th birthday bash.

However, of far greater import than finally reclaiming a fully independent national identity was Barbados’s simultaneous decision to officially recognise Rihanna as their “national hero”. This strikes me as a position that every country, Aotearoa included, should have. That being so, on some future day when we declare ourselves royal family free, who should have the kākahu of “Aotearoa New Zealand’s national hero” bestowed upon them? Some contenders, and an assessment of their claims to the title:

Lorde

PROS The most obvious local analogue to Rihanna: global pop recognition; connection to a famous perfume brand; shared propensity to dance around on beautiful beaches with attractive friends.

CONS Revealed fondness for fennel (aka “stink weed”); apparently can’t drive, which is super annoying for everyone else on road trips. No one really wants to always be ferrying around a deadbeat who lounges across the backseat getting stoned from quirky vegetable bongs.

Aldous Harding

PROS Offers a slightly more culturally edgy option than Lorde; “an unbiddable artist”, apparently; a fact that then annoys all the really right people.

CONS Could cause a national schism with those incensed that Hollie Fullbrook or Marlon Williams or Nadia Reid weren’t chosen instead. Can the nation survive that kind of division in our alt-folky-country community at this present time?

Moana Maniapoto

PROS Deliverer of bangers with a message; truth-teller on Māori Television; mana wahine embodied.

CONS Very high chance of “getting political”, and will the Ian McKelvie-led National government that declares Aotearoa New Zealand a republic in 2025 risk having a political national hero? (It’s going to be a weird next election – don’t ask.)

Neil Finn

PROS Likeable enough; knows his way round a pop tune; seems like a good dad.

CONS The bulk of his fame comes from being in an Australian band (in the same way as Die Hard is not a Christmas movie, despite desperate attempts to argue differently, now fight me).

The Briscoes lady

PROS Universal recognition; invariably sunny disposition; deliverer of constantly good (if potentially misleading) news.

CONS Does anyone know her real name (it’s Tammy Wells) and might the phrase “Aotearoa New Zealand’s national hero the Briscoes lady” open us up to gentle global mockery? Also, “the Briscoes lady” commonly is used without a possessive apostrophe, which is just wrong and I will fight you again.

Taika Waititi

PROS Comic genius; director-du-jour; positive enabler of indigenous film and screen artists.

CONS Already professionally overburdened – can he really commit to giving his best performance as a true national hero, or will he just dial in the role like he did with Free Guy?

Hilary Barry

PROS Comic genius; don’t take no shit; the visitor every student flat needs and wants.

CONS Side fringe. Disqualifying, I am reliably informed.

A pavlova

PROS Omnipresent; can be topped with other national icons such as kiwifruit or Wattie’s canned peaches; would annoy Australia, if they bothered to notice.

CONS Declaring something made out of egg white, vanilla essence, white vinegar and white sugar our national hero seems apt but also deeply dispiriting. 

A pekapeka-tou-roa

Haven’t this nation’s long tailed bats already pushed their luck far enough? Get back in your lane, winged mouse.

Sir Dave Dobbyn

No. Just … no.

Keep going!
Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

InternetDecember 3, 2021

Inside the emerging black market for vaccine passes 

Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

As My Vaccine Pass becomes a ticket to freedom, an illegal market is brewing for those who aren’t yet double-jabbed. Dylan Reeve investigates for IRL. 

New Zealand’s traffic light system comes into play today, and perhaps inevitably, it’s being accompanied by a new black market for stolen, shared and faked vaccine passes.

The My Vaccine Pass system is technically designed in a way that makes it functionally impossible to create fake passes, but that’s only true if passes are verified using the official verifier app. Because the only information on the pass is a name and date of birth, it would also be necessary to check some type of ID in order to confirm that a pass belongs to the person presenting it.

However, the government’s official advice to businesses about the passes makes it clear that both these steps are optional. Simply looking at a pass is good enough for the purposes of the Protection Framework.

The practical choices in the way the system is implemented mean that, in the real world, it’s probably trivial for an unvaccinated person to simply use another person’s pass, or possibly even present a totally fake one.

A Telegram seller who, when I last spoke to them, was selling fake vaccine record cards recently made a big pivot to buying and selling official My Vaccine Passes.

The seller, “Vax Card NZ”, told me via Telegram private message on Wednesday that they were diversifying: “Just transitioning to cover the digital passes, but we still are selling the cards.”

They went on to explain that they’re trying to build up a stock of official passes with a variety of names and birth dates. “We ideally need a variety of cards to cover the base demographics,” they said, in order to be able to offer suitable options to buyers. But so far they’ve not had much luck getting official cards, and have been raising the price they’re offering to buy the passes. “We started at $50 and are now offering $125, and will continue to raise prices until we are able to purchase enough stock,” they continued. 

As of Wednesday, Vax Card NZ reported that they hadn’t been able to buy any cards, but they were expecting that to change. “This will likely happen when the passes start to be used as people will be able to photograph other people’s passes and then sell them,” they explained, pointing out that all they needed was an image of the official QR code in order to recreate the pass for sale.

This functionally creates a market for stolen vaccine passes, incentivising people to capture images of strangers’ vaccine passes; a process Vax Card NZ has called “mining” in their online advertisements.

Telegram user “Vax Card NZ” is encouraging people to capture images of strangers’ vaccine passes for sale. (Screenshot: Dylan Reeve)

The way the official vaccine passes have been designed also means it’s possible to create an entirely fake pass with any name and date of birth. The fake pass would look real to any person reviewing it, but would neither pass nor fail if scanned by the official verifier app – it simply wouldn’t scan at all, leaving the person checking the pass with the decision of whether or not to trust it.

The practical realities of the system are the issue, according to Andrew Chen, research fellow at Koi Tū, the Centre for Informed Futures at the University of Auckland. “In an ideal world checking a vaccine pass would have three steps,” explained Chen. “Step one, a human would visually sight the pass to confirm it looks like a vaccine pass.”

Step two, according to Chen is: “Scan the QR code to confirm the pass is legitimately issued by the Ministry of Health, and that the name that appears on the pass is the same as the one that shows in the verifier app.”

Finally, step three is: “A photo ID check to confirm the person carrying the pass is the person named on the pass.”

Ideally vaccine passes would be scanned and then checked against a photo ID, according to according to Dr Andrew Chen. (Photo: Koi Tū)

In reality though, that three-step process probably won’t happen in most places. Even in cases where those steps are followed, businesses have no obligation (or power) to detain anyone who presents an improper vaccine pass, although a Ministry of Health spokesperson told The Spinoff that police will have the power to conduct spot checks at venues to verify passes and ID. “Fraudulent use or misuse of My Vaccine Passes will be taken very seriously,” said the ministry spokesperson, confirming that police and other agencies will investigate reported misuse and fraud on a case-by-case basis.

With a potential $12,000 fine or six months in prison, anyone using a fraudulent pass is making a fairly significant gamble that they’ll go undetected.

Conversations within New Zealand’s Covid denial and anti-vax online communities about the vaccine pass system have been getting increasingly urgent as the framework has moved from theory to reality. Some are seeking to establish their own alternatives to the mainstream services they’ll be locked out of, setting up groups and websites to facilitate direct trade and identify businesses still happy to serve those without vaccine passes.

Others are looking for loopholes and schemes to gain access to restricted events and businesses while not being vaccinated. Shelling out a few bucks for a fraudulent pass seems an easy choice for some, and it’s likely even more will jump on board if the early adopters report success. 

The idea of vaccine pass fraud can seem pretty daunting, but according to Chen we probably don’t need to get too concerned, as our high vaccination rates and past Covid experience play in our favour. “I’d say the impact of fraud in New Zealand is likely to be lower than other [countries],” he says, pointing out that we’re generally still pretty wary of high case numbers and more diligent with distancing and masks.

Phew.