As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a self-employed therapist explains how and where they spend money.
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Gender: Female.
Age: 36.
Ethnicity: Māori and Pākehā.
Role: Self-employed therapist.
Salary/income/assets: About $240,000 a year, but have around $60,000 expenses so $180,000 in the end? I have just bought my first house so KiwiSaver got wiped out, it’s at $11,000 right now. I wasn’t contributing anything for a while but have just restarted. About $15,000 in my bank account that mainly covers my leave from work etc (self-employed).
My living location is: Urban.
Rent/mortgage per week: $1100 split between two people. We have four young children and two cats that aren’t our cats but we feed and pat.
Student loan or other debt payments per week: I just paid my student loan off last week. Felt like a total fantasy that would ever happen and has freed up a chunk of cash each week (which instantly got absorbed into living costs).
Typical weekly food costs
Groceries: $450, and then we would often do a top up shop for forgotten things or what we have run out of about $50 a week. This is for two adults, four children and the two random cats we feed.
Eating out: My husband and I probably go out three times a year at $250 per night. When we do have a rare night off from family life, we like to be as indulgent as possible and remember we don’t have to eat leftover noodles or other beige toddler foods all the time.
Takeaways: We spend way too much on takeaways, probably $60-80 per week which is usually the weekends or when we have family over for dinner and neither of us can cope with cooking an extra large meal.
Workday lunches: $0 – if I can be bothered or have time to eat I’ll take bread and make toast. I adore food but lunch often feels like a chore when I have limited time while working. I don’t take my own therapeutic advice in this regard of nurturing my body but hope as my life settles I’ll one day make beautiful lunches.
Cafe coffees/snacks: $0 – bought a good coffee machine a couple of years ago and usually take a cup into the office. I’m also a coffee snob after years living overseas so feel utterly devastated when the coffee isn’t great.
Other food costs: $50 on seedlings, soil etc – we have a herb garden, tomatoes and just started strawberries this year which the kids are having so much fun harvesting. We are very new to the veggie garden buzz so hope to one day have lots more in there.
Savings: With my student loan paid I’m putting $80 in KiwiSaver a week, we do $80 in an investment fund for the kids, about $100 for general savings. I have a high income which gets sunk into a very comfortable life. I hope one day to be much better at saving and investing etc.
I worry about money: Sometimes.
Three words to describe my financial situation: Privileged, lax, lucky.
My biggest edible indulgence would be: Specialty cheeses. I’m quite indulgent with food in general – all or nothing type mentality.
In a typical week my alcohol expenditure would be: $0 – I’ve never been a big drinker but since kids and becoming self-employed I have even less time for the thought of being hungover or having a headache.
In a typical week my transport expenditure would be: $40 fuel for my car, although I do lease a new vehicle which is a huge cost at $360 per week. The lease includes all other costs (repairs, rego etc). My car (that I owned) broke down earlier in the year and needed to be replaced, and with a lease I get to claim it back under self-employment tax as I drive for work. I grew up in cars that were extremely old, ran out of gas constantly, never had regos or warrants. Having a brand new very fancy SUV also feels like a fantasy and soothes the little girl parts of me that just wanted to fit in.
I estimate in the past year the ballpark amount I spent on my personal clothing (including sleepwear and underwear) was: $1500 – a mix of new things and op shop things. Despite my income changing drastically over the years I still adore second hand shopping.
My most expensive clothing in the past year was: $250 wide leg jeans.
My last pair of shoes cost: $40 jandals, never thought they’d come back into fashion but here we are, pairing plain old Archie’s (so comfortable fyi) with cute dresses and pants… who knew?
My grooming/beauty expenditure in a year is about: I cut out hairdresser appointments after we bought the house and things were painfully tight for a while – that was $450 every four months. I haven’t reinstated this as I feel I’ve coped OK without it. I’ve actually cut out the majority of my beauty regime over the years since having kids – time and money just don’t make sense for these things now. I spend about $400 annually on makeup and otherwise hair/skincare is pretty cheap chemist or supermarket stuff now. The only thing I regularly do which is deeply expensive and causes a lot of internal dilemma is Botox every four months: $300 which I stop and start regularly. I oscillate between trying to deconstruct the patriarchy entirely within myself, and being furious at my deeply ingrained frown lines and removing them.
My exercise expenditure in a year is about: $0 – most of my exercise is from lifting and corralling small humans and trying to landscape our house.
My last Friday night cost: $80 takeaway at home for us all.
Most regrettable purchase in the last 12 months was: $250 wide leg jeans – I spent so long looking for them and they are great but I forgot how uncomfortable jeans are. Unwearable while I sit all day.
Most indulgent purchase (that I don’t regret) in the last 12 months was: Probably the weekly lease payment on my car. It feels insanely extravagant and part of me feels a bit whakamā I drive and pay for it, but it brings me a lot of joy too.
One area where I’m a bit of a tightwad is: Lunches, coffee, children’s clothes and shoes (I try to op shop what I can of this as I cannot make it make sense why their little things cost so much).
Five words to describe my financial personality would be: Indulgent, privileged, reckless, shortsighted, learning.
I grew up in a house where money was: Extremely lacking. Raised by a young solo mother of four who had significant trauma and was unable to work because of how this devastated her life in every possible way. We had very little family support. We lived in poverty my entire childhood, grew up on food bank parcels and the measly MSD benefit. I remember watching my mother beg case managers for food grants to help us survive week to week. She was diminished and dehumanised for decades trying to keep us all alive and I will forever be grateful she is now well and none of us live in poverty anymore. We grew up with many hardships but in many ways we were more privileged than others – when my mother was able, she was a warm and nurturing parent (and still is!). Being able to afford a car rego and WOF feels like the peak of wealth, and that’s a feeling I’ll probably never shake.
The last time my Eftpos card was declined was: All the time. I just transfer money over and try to quash any feelings of being whakamā with humility that many people can’t “just transfer” pūtea.
In five years, in financial terms, I see myself: Probably making more sensible long term decisions with money (savings, investing). Feeling less guilty about having money overall.
I would love to have more money for: To give away. Support more causes I’m invested and believe in. Pay more for things that people undervalue themselves.
Describe your financial low: We have had so many lows over the years, even recently when we bought our house and the housing market changed and suddenly our interest rates shot up 3% and I was on parental leave. I had to return to work early (as I am the primary income earner, my husband is in the trades on $30p/h). This was pretty devastating but again privileged that I could go back to work and earn more to bring us out of the red. I have a very high income but extremely high expenses so it can feel really volatile at times. Obviously my childhood was 18 years of financial low but it’s a different kind of stress compared to now, where I finally have a lot to lose.
I give money away to: A lot to family and sometimes friends – I have taken a firm stance on paying for things for others as I earn more than most people in my world. I always donate if servers ask at retails stores etc. I think I still have a recurring payment to the Cancer Society and Forest and Bird, which isn’t as altruistic as it seems but rather my inability to say no to the intense door sales tactics. I do hope to add more donations to causes and charities in the future that I’m passionate about.
