The Spinoff’s winners and losers for the week. 

• It was a good week for the major gentailers, which posted a combined profit of $1.85 billion. That’s good for the New Zealand public, which owns 51% of the four companies, and is bad for the New Zealand public, which makes up 100% of their customers. 
• It was a bad week for the Wellington Phoenix men’s team, which suffered a 5-0 defeat to Auckland FC that was so humiliating the coach quit immediately. Oh well, Wellington may not have football but at least it still has a thriving job market, a vibrant main street and untarnished beaches. 

• It was a good week for government innovation. The newly implemented move-on orders for homeless people in city centres are a groundbreaking idea. Putting problems in places we don’t have to look at them could be the solution to all of the country’s complex issues. 

• It was a bad week for Raglan residents who are worried that hosting a World Surf League event will bring too much attention to the town. Sure, if there’s anything Kiwis hate, it’s hearing famous foreigners say complimentary things about our country. 
• It was a good week for incrementalism. In his annual state of nation address, Chris Hipkins admitted that the last Labour government tried to do too much and boldly promised to do less in the future. Ask not what you can do for your country, but what is the bare minimum you can get away with. 
• It was a bad week for children, with new statistics showing that child poverty and material hardship rates reached a new record high. One of the few things that’s trending upwards. 
• It was a bad week for young people generally. The Mental Health and Wellbeing Commission reported that 23 percent of people aged 15 to 25 had experienced high or very high psychological distress in the past four weeks. It’s wild that a disastrous job market, high cost of living, and burning planet doesn’t fill the youth with hope for the future. 
• It was a bad week for Air New Zealand, which posted a $59m loss, prompting calls by David Seymour to sell the government’s share in the business. Shareholders have been advised to return their tray table to its upright and locked position and brace against the seat in front of them. 
• It was a good week for Gore’s giant trout, which was finally christened with a name: Trevor. The Spinoff would like to commend Gore for absolutely nailing it. That fish is 100% a Trevor.