How to watch in New Zealand, how the new format works and everything else you need to know about the big sporting event kicking off right now.

What’s going on?

The Fifa World Cup starts this morning (7am NZT) with Mexico playing South Africa. This edition of the tournament is being jointly hosted by the US, Mexico and Canada, and will give sportos something to talk about for approximately the next five weeks.

Hey I’m a sporto! How do I watch?

TVNZ is New Zealand’s official World Cup broadcaster this time around. Hard-out football fanatics will be able to stream every game live on TVNZ+ by purchasing an event pass for $44.99, but if you’re more of a casual observer, most of the games you’ll want (the opener, all the All Whites matches, some of the knockouts including the final etc) will also be live on free-to-air – see exactly which ones here.

Wait, New Zealand are playing?

Yes! For the first time since 2010, the All Whites are playing at a men’s World Cup. We qualified by beating New Caledonia 3-0 in the Oceania qualifying final at Eden Park last year.

I thought we had to go through a challenging intercontinental playoff to qualify for the World Cup?

In previous qualifying cycles we’ve had to play teams like Mexico, Peru and Costa Rica at the intercontinental playoff stage, and it hasn’t gone very well (with the exception of 2010, when we went to the World Cup after beating Bahrain 1-0). But from this year the tournament has been expanded from 32 to 48 teams, so the Oceania qualifier now gets an automatic spot.

Forty-eight teams! What does that mean?

Well, a lot more games – 104 in total this time, compared to the usual 64. There’ll also be an extra round of playoffs. Previously, the top two teams from each group qualified to the round of 16 and the numbers were all nice and even. Now the top two teams from each group plus the eight best third-placed teams will go through to the “round of 32”.

This seems promising for us…

Well, if the All Whites can somehow replicate their 2010 record of three draws then we might qualify through to the next round for the first time in history.

Who do we have to draw with this time?

Our first game is against Iran in Los Angeles on Tuesday the 16th (1pm NZT), then we play Egypt (1pm Monday 22nd) and Belgium (3pm Saturday 27th) in Vancouver.

We’re playing Iran? In the US? How does that work?

Yes, this is the first time a World Cup host has been at war with one of the countries it’s hosting. There was initially some speculation as to whether Iran would play at all, then their requests to have their group games moved to Mexico were turned down. So for now the plan is for them to be the first “FIFO” World Cup team, staying in Mexico and flying in and out of the US on game days. Several of their support staff have been denied entry, many of their players haven’t played a competitive game in months and one of their top strikers wasn’t selected for political reasons… so, a less-than-ideal World Cup preparation.

What are our chances?

The All Whites’ hopes largely rest on that first game vs Iran, who are ranked significantly higher than us and will be very tough to beat, but still probably have a less potent attack than Egypt or Belgium. If we can pick up our first men’s World Cup win over Iran, then we can start talking about maybe qualifying for the knockout rounds.

Are there any positive omens we can cling to?

The All Whites will be wearing their stylish black away kit for their first match v Iran. Last time we played in black we beat Chile 4-1.

Who are our most important players?

Our main goalscoring strategy is likely to be Get The Ball To Woodsy (Premier League goalscoring machine Chris Wood), but there are plenty of other important cogs in the machine. Whoever starts in goal – either Max Crocombe (probable) or Alex Paulsen (possible) – will obviously be vital to our chances, as will the centre-back pairing (some combo of Finn Surman, Tyler Bindon and Michael Boxall). Going forward, Eli Just, Jesse Randall and Ben Old all have the pace to cause problems for opposition defences.

If you want to sound like you really know what you’re talking about, though, bring up the name Joe Bell. As a defensive midfielder, a lot of the work he does is hard to explain and usually goes unnoticed, but we definitely seem to play better when he’s on the field.

What about Tim Payne?

How could we forget the viral man of the moment, whose Instagram follower count currently stands at 5.6 million. He’ll likely start at right back, and will probably win Player of the Match regardless of the result since it’s decided by fan vote on the Fifa website.

Who are the favourites to win it all?

Most of the usual suspects – except Italy, who sensationally failed to qualify for the third consecutive tournament – are in the mix. France and Spain lead the pack, then Argentina, Brazil, Germany… England? There’s quite a bit of interest building around Portugal, who have a very strong squad going into what will be Cristiano Ronaldo’s final shot at World Cup glory. However, a German maths boffin who’s correctly predicted the last three winners is tipping the Netherlands to beat them in the final.

What about ‘dark horses’?

Norway may have overtaken Belgium as the official dark horse of this World Cup – which could mean Belgium are finally poised to have the big tournament they’ve been threatening to have since 2014. Senegal, who won last year’s African Cup of Nations before the result was punitively overturned months later, are among a handful of African sides who could make a deep run a la 2022 semifinalists Morocco. Morocco are also looking pretty good again this year, come to think of it. 

What time are the games on?

Great news for those of us who associate watching the World Cup with brutal midwinter 3am wakeup calls: this year’s tournament is taking place in a much more favourable set of time zones. The earliest matches kickoff at 4am NZT and the latest at 4pm, with the majority in the mid-morning and mid-afternoon.

Will this impact New Zealand’s much-maligned productivity stats?

Probably. But it might also boost morale, so… swings and roundabouts.

Any predictions?

Spain to beat Portugal in an all-Iberian final. Kylian Mbappe to break the World Cup goalscoring record. A record number of matches interrupted by thunderstorms. A record amount of complaining (some of it justified, a lot of it just people in the UK having to get up at 3am for once). More drama, controversy and outright villainy off the pitch than on it.