With Seven Sharp sighing back onto New Zealand TV last night, Alex Casey and Duncan Greive round up 10 key moments from Hosking’s turf war to the return of Boston buns.
1) First of all, this was the lead story
2) The Weeknd played as they came back from an ad. It got Mike started.
“Is that Little Mix? Didn’t we hear those over the weekend? Little Mix and Twisted Sister and all those weirdoes from the seventies who’ve vomited – who came here, got drunk and vomited and missed their concerts over the weekend?”
– Mike Hosking’s take on the Atomic Kitten and Guns n’ Roses shows.
3) Mike may or may not be shilling for Tiger Turf
Why would somebody ever choose to have plastic grass? Guess it’s an easy wipe down when all those weirdos come around and vomit over the weekend.
4) There was a competition between a sheep-shearer and a face-shaver
The sheep won.
5) Distressed denim is not going anywhere in 2K17
6) Mike is a bad host (at home! Not on TV!)…
“Can I just say that having been to his house you won’t get offered a glass of wine,” said Toni during a segment introducing new Seven Sharp gardening (?) correspondent Andy ‘former All Black’ Ellis (?). “And he definitely doesn’t even know about his backyard. He’s never even swum in his pool.”
Never even swum in his pool?!
7) …who also became momentarily possessed by the vengeful spirit of “whinging Kiwi”
8) We got a final ruling on litter
Litter, is it good or bad? To find out, Seven Sharp sent some guy from Instagram to purposefully drop litter in public in front of unsuspecting bystanders. Turns out people think litter is “terrible” “bad” and “disgusting” and that we should all pick it up. Now if we could just figure out this chocolate slice crisis, we could call it a day and all go home to relax on our Tiger Turf.
9) Mike hasn’t been into a bakery since the seventies
When he tried to imagine what might go in a kid’s lunchbox, he came up with “Coke Zero” (no) and “Boston buns”(what?!). Ah, the seventies, to eat a lovely Boston Bun and kick tf back to Little Mix. Toni savagely owned him: “Those are from your era, they don’t exist anymore!”
10) What else doesn’t exist?
Seven Sharp returned for the first time in 2017 and by the end became the first current affairs show this year to not mention Donald Trump. Or Waitangi Day. Or Bill English’s phone call with Donald Trump on Waitangi Day…
Seven Sharp airs weeknights on TVNZ1 at 7pm
This content, like all television coverage we do at The Spinoff, is brought to you thanks to the excellent folk at Lightbox. Do us and yourself a favour by clicking here to start a FREE 30 day trial of this truly wonderful service.
Join The Spinoff Members for as little as $1 to help us hire more journalists and do more investigations. Or get a free Toby Morris-designed tea towel when you contribute $80 or more over a year.
The Bulletin is The Spinoff’s acclaimed daily digest of New Zealand’s most important stories, delivered directly to your inbox each morning.