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BooksMarch 15, 2019

The Friday Poem: Haiku by Uther Dean

uther dean

A series of haiku by Twitter bard Uther Dean. 




Sue tore up her will,

Drank the serum. Fuck the kids.

She’d live forever.




My latest mantra:

‘None of this is important.

You have enough love.’




My man-size pillow

Has a single hand to hold

And a beating heart.




Remodel your house

By flying into a rage

And smashing her stuff.




On a sinking ship

The captain embraced the crew

And became their raft.




I still remember

My best childhood bullies.

They made sure of that.




Kids can be so cruel.

So we should cave in their skulls

With big cinder-blocks.




Tim’s misogyny

Seemed like ironic joking.

But was genuine.




The complexity

Of everyone else’s lives

Is overwhelming.




When my leg brushed yours

On the Strathmore 44

My heart exploded.




Two cannibals eat

Each other until they are

Just two kissing mouths.


These haiku are included in Uther Dean’s Fringe Festival show Uther Dean Reads 300 Haiku, Bats Theatre, Wellington, 20–23 March.


Spinoff poetry editor Ashleigh Young welcomes submissions for The Friday Poem at

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