Ahead of the new season of Celebrity Treasure Island, Alex Casey challenges the cast to choose one book they would take to the ends of the Earth with them.
Celebrities don’t always come across as the biggest reading enthusiasts. Just this week, actor Barry Keoghan told the New York Times “I’ve never read a novel, not ever.” It’s a similar story for ‘All About That Bass’ singer Megan Trainor, who told Rolling Stone “I don’t read books”. And, in what turned out to be one of his much milder opinions, Kanye West once famously said this: “I actually haven’t read any book… Reading is like eating Brussels sprouts for me.”
Thankfully, it is a different story here in Aotearoa. When I was whisked away to the top secret set of Celebrity Treasure Island, I wanted to know which one book each celebrity would take with them onto a desert island (they aren’t allowed books, or even pen and paper in the show, which is how you end up with a crazed Dame Susan Devoy playing Wordle in the sand). Here’s what they chose, with expert gameplay analysis from books editor and author Claire Mabey.
The homegrown heroes
“One of my favourite books ever is A Little Life, but that’s pretty heavy on a desert island,” explained Ria Vandervis, best known for playing Harper on Shortland Street. “So instead I’d take Greta and Valdin by Rebecca K Reilly.” The winner of Best First Book of Fiction at the Ockhams in 2022, Greta & Valdin is a choice which Mabey says reveals “honed decision-making skills, common sense, and someone who could potentially get everyone settled round the fireplace for readings from this Aotearoa classic and make some sweet alliances.”
Vinnie Bennett, an actor you’ll recognise from Testify, F9 and the upcoming Sgt. Haane, also went local. “I’d take I Thought We’d be Famous, it’s a poetry book by Dominic Hoey,” he told The Spinoff above a pristine white sand beach. While commending this for being the only poetry offering to make the list, Mabey also made note of what the collection represents. “Hoey rails against the man, the system, and makes art shake the bars of oppression. Here, reader, we have an underdog who, if they’re following in Hoey’s shoes, will go very far indeed.”
The fantasy fans
Perhaps fitting given her otherworldly career in rugby, Portia Woodman-Wickliffe describes herself as “a huge fantasy person, I just love it”. When we spoke on the island, she was in the middle of reading Sarah J Maas’ Throne of Glass series, so decided she would take that along. “Just a casual novel about upending a corrupt kingdom,” assessed Mabey. “Don’t let the ‘big fantasy person’ fool you. This is someone who revels in the machinations of politics, power and rebellion and who’s in it for the long, long game.”
Joining Woodman-Wickliffe in the fantasy corner is actor Te Ao O Hinepehinga (Chief of War), who said she would take Patrick Rothfuss’ Kingkiller Chronicle. “I think my favorite part was that each character had this independent hero’s journey that could intersect, but it wasn’t just ‘I’m a warrior’ or ‘I’m the romantic interest’,” she said. “There is depth to all of the characters and substance to the story that just makes you want to read it so many times.” While Mabey loved the values behind this answer, she feared for what it could mean in the game.
“This dear heart might not have the ruthless streak they may need to take this game out, but they’re going to win over hearts if not also minds and dragons as they go,” she said.
Randy for romance
There’s nothing like a bodice-busting, heart-stopping romantic romp to keep you warm on those cool island nights. “I might do something really trashy, actually, like a Mills and Boon,” said ex-broadcaster Polly Gillespie. “I want something to get totally lost in, just total floof.” Mabey applauded the invention of a new genre – “total floof” – while also respecting the self-care on display here. “When under immense pressure and on the third day of recycling the same pair of undergruts, there’s nothing a contestant needs more than a steamy, floofy escape.”
Zion Dayal, sports reporter at TVNZ, also opted for a title synonymous with the romance genre. “Out of pure curiosity, I’d take Fifty Shades of Grey,” he said. “I don’t really know what it’s about… I mean I do a little bit.” Mabey suspects there may be some gameplay afoot already here. “Here’s a contestant who’ll play the curious innocent until the last minute when they’ll reveal their expertise and nail some fools,” she said.
Mad for memoir
Frank Bunce revealed to The Spinoff that he tends to gravitate to biographies, and recently bought three of Jacinda Ardern’s books at once. “Could I bring all three of those?” he pleaded. “Wait, am I bringing them to read or to burn?” The Spinoff advised he could do whatever he wanted with the book, which led to a moment’s pause and then: “I’ll probably just go with Nelson Mandela’s biography.” An “absolute wildcard” offering from the All Blacks legend, said Mabey. “If we spot a book smouldering in a fire pit, we’ll know who to blame.”
Simon Barnett reckoned Open by Andre Agassi is the best book he’s ever read. “It’s just an amazing story about a guy that reached the pinnacle of success, but was totally riddled with insecurities and fear,” he said. “I remember reading a bit from the night before the US Open, when he had a wig, and it was just all he could focus on.” Mabey honed in on this wig detail. “This contestant is schooling up on disguise and obfuscation, like how in the Hunger Games when Peta made himself look like a rock to avoid being stabbed to death,” she said.
The bestseller besties
The Edge radio host Harrison Keefe told The Spinoff he has been prioritising reading in the last couple of months and it has been paying dividends. “I’ve been trying to turn my life around – reading is very fun,” he said. One such fun read has been The Housemaid, the psychological thriller adapted into a film last year. Mabey commended Keefe’s honest commitment to the cause. “So much truth, so much intrigue,” she said. “This contestant is going to be a stealth operator: someone who will quietly observe, learn, and then unleash.”
Musician Georgia Lines chose Emily Habeck’s Shark Heart, which follows a couple whose material bliss ruptures when the husband starts to turn into a shark. “The premise sounds really ridiculous, but I sobbed my eyes out,” she said. “It’s a very sad book. But do I want to be sad on my island?” Not one to be swayed by shark and/or crocodile tears, Mabey immediately flagged “my island” as a tell. “Behind those teary eyes it’s all subconscious thoughts of world/island domination,” she said. “This contestant is going to go far, my shark-sense can feel it.”
Shortland Street’s Ben Barrington went for either The Secret History by Donna Tartt or Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy, both books he has re-read several times. With Blood Meridian described as the “brutally violent” story of a runaway who joins a “sadistic gang”, and The Secret History following eccentric college misfits lead down “a dangerous path beyond human constructs of morality,” Mabey is concerned for Barrington’s strategic vision. “Cannot wait to see what kind of ‘rituals’ this contestant insists on everyone taking part in, ‘for fun’,” she said.
Last in the bestselling classics category is former Miss New Zealand Sammi Poole, who said “I love reading, so this is really hard.” After a few moments of thoughtful deliberation in true pageant queen style, she made her decision: “I’d take Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone because it reminds me of my childhood.” A nostalgia pick to feed one’s inner child on the island, and one that left Mabey with just one wish: “here’s hoping this contestant is more Hermione than Harry, quite frankly.”
Nuts for non-fiction
Despite being a TikTok sensation, Louis Davis revealed he’s not one to use his phone on the bog, but will instead reach for a classic fact-packed toilet book. “You grab it, you don’t think about the other family members touching the pages, and just enjoy random facts like ‘popcorn kernels have the highest markup of any product’.” Bog readers are “fearless, curious, and agile” people who might get easily bored, noted Mabey. “This contestant is going to operate in stealth mode: ‘quirky’ exterior thinly disguising a compelling lack of boundaries.”
Also trying to expand his mind on the island is comedian David Correos, who chose to take Jerry Corley’s comedy theory book Breaking Comedy’s DNA. “It’s just a grinding book, you always gotta keep fresh,” he said. While Mabey questioned the function of a ‘grinding’ book – “the image that sprang to mind isn’t fit for such wholesome content” – she commended Correos for his commitment to his craft. “At least this contestant will have some fresh gags to go along with whatever it is they mean to do to this book.”
Best known for her frank and surprising revelations online, Nix Adams’ book of choice was no different. “I’m a crime junkie, so maybe something about Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, someone like that,” she said, adding “I could think of how I could use their strategic illegal activities to my advantage,” before raucously cracking up. “What a way to psych out your fellow contestants,” said Mabey. “I only hope that the ‘cracking up’ is in the style of wholesome guffaw and not Dr Evil or that ginger creep from The Simpsons who wants to murder Bart.”
Closing out the non-fiction fans is Liv Parker, younger sister of previous CTI winner Chris Parker, who said she would use her time on the island to brush up on some self-development. “This one year, Mum bought me all these self-help books for Christmas and my birthday that all had the vibe like ‘it’s OK not to be perfect’,” she said. “I’ve never read any of them in my life, but maybe one of those would be helpful.” After shouting out Mama Parker for well-meaning gift of self-help, Mabey just had one more hope for Parker in the game.
“Hopefully one of the books is something along the lines of How to Survive on a Desert Island.”
Celebrity Treasure Island starts Monday April 27 on TVNZ2 and TVNZ+.
