(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)
(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)

BooksAugust 24, 2018

The Friday Poem: ‘Constructive Criticism’ by Michael Hall

(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)
(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)

It’s Phantom Billstickers National Poetry Day! All week this week we’ve presented new verse on the delicate subject of fucking; today, we present a poem of much greater significance and importance, by Michael Hall of Dunedin.


Constructive Criticism


Awww come on ref

The guy’s clearly offside


Aww come on ref

That’s not a penalty


Aww come on,

For fuck’s sake, ref


That was forward

It was right in front of you


Ref, you couldn’t even officate

A blade of grass


Ref, my 6 year old can ref

Better than you


Why don’t you run off

And marry your whistle, ref


You’re a joke, ref

You’re embarrassing yourself


Ref, you can stick that whistle

Up your big fat hairy arse


Michael Hall, 2018

The Spinoff Review of Books is proudly brought to you by Unity Books. 

Keep going!