(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)
(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)

BooksAugust 24, 2018

The Friday Poem: ‘Constructive Criticism’ by Michael Hall

(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)
(Photo: Matt King/Getty Images)

It’s Phantom Billstickers National Poetry Day! All week this week we’ve presented new verse on the delicate subject of fucking; today, we present a poem of much greater significance and importance, by Michael Hall of Dunedin.

 

Constructive Criticism

 

Awww come on ref

The guy’s clearly offside

 

Aww come on ref

That’s not a penalty

 

Aww come on,

For fuck’s sake, ref

 

That was forward

It was right in front of you

 

Ref, you couldn’t even officate

A blade of grass

 

Ref, my 6 year old can ref

Better than you

 

Why don’t you run off

And marry your whistle, ref

 

You’re a joke, ref

You’re embarrassing yourself

 

Ref, you can stick that whistle

Up your big fat hairy arse

 

Michael Hall, 2018


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Mad Chapman, Editor
Aotearoa continues to adapt to a new reality and The Spinoff is right there, sorting fact from fiction to bring you the latest updates and biggest stories. Help us continue this coverage, and so much more, by supporting The Spinoff Members.Madeleine Chapman, EditorJoin Members

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