A list of words that will always look weird (including, of course, the word ‘weird’).

Here at The Spinoff we deal words every day, carefully arranging them into pristine sentences. And yet every day there are at least a few surreptitious googles to check up on certain words. Also good luck and godspeed to parents and teachers everywhere, for ever, who have to teach five-year-olds that English is a giant cluster of exceptions, loopholes, and extraordinary inconsistencies. Here are the words that we wouldn’t want to meet down a dark alley, or encounter in a spelling bee: the most tripped-up-on, trippy words from our staff writers.

Remuneration: looks and sounds like it should be renumeration.

Greive: sorry, Duncan, but I’m aggrieved at the whole “e before i” twist-up here. 

Stripy: looks like it should have an e and be stripey. See also; Truly.

Forty: why is it not fourty?

Cemetery: feels like should be cemetary.

Honorary: not even Americanised, it’s sans u in English also.

Millennium: the extra n feels off.

Assisted: feels like it needs two double “s” like “assessed”.

Bureaucracy: too many U’s, would be better as “bureacracy”.

Aluminium: I blame the Americans for this.

Vicious: sounds and feels like needs an s in the middle.

Occasion: the two c’s feel aggro and why not two s’s?

February: there is no need for bru.

Until: the last l looks so lonely.

Parallel: somehow too many l’s but also entirely not enough. 

Rhythm: oh my god. I will never learn to spell this.

Hanmer: in my headcanon this is Hamner.

Cardamom: not my mom, actually a seed, should end with “n”.

Definitely: definately needs an “a” in there after the n.

Wednesday: why the ed? 

Endeavour: cursed ship, cursed word. 

Lyttelton: Gary McCormick on the absolute piss with this one.

Feilding: William Waiirua on the absolute piss with this one

Psychic and psychology: I studied psychology and still don’t think a word should have that many consonants in a row or cause me this much of me psychic injury. Where does the “h” go? What’s the point of the “p”? What person thought “p-s-y-c-h” was a good start to anything?

Diarrhea/diarrhoea: both the spellings give me instant diaaoohreeehaa.

Refrigerator: why is there no d?

Pigeon: same as above. Missing d. 

Necessary and necessities: wtf.

Draught: drop the “ugh” and give me an “f” you coward.

Acknowledge: what does it need a c for?

Pseudonym: also Poseidon.

Negotiated: should be negociated.

Assassination: you just gotta remember there are two asses.

Restaurant: I will never be able to spell this word right even if i study for one thousand years. Impossible.

Europe: especially because New Zealanders just say “Yerup”.

Licence: another reason not to learn to drive.

Protester or protestor: we will never know the truth.

Spelled?? Spelt??: how are they spelt??

Restaurateur: where is the n 🙁.

Queue: phonetically just q is fine.

Sovereignty: somehow looks like there are a thousand e’s.

Fledgling: no need for the d, give it to pigeon.

Weird: again with the i and e. But wierd. IDK.