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Television: My Kitchen Rules Power Rankings, Week Eight – William G In Da House

Alex Casey delivers her contestant power rankings for week eight on My Kitchen Rules NZ. This week, we farewell the face of Nando’s and Ali G comes to kitchen HQ. 

A dark cloud has come over me. It is shaped like a Nando’s chicken wing, and has been raining down stinging tears of peri peri sauce since last night. We had to say goodbye to two excellent teams this week in Otago mates Travis and Jeremy, and Palmy pals Simon and Lauren. It just goes to show, even doing your very best steam-based visual gag is still not enough to win a competitive cooking show:

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As for Travis and Jeremy, they smashed through what seemed like a crate of beers and made something called Mountain Goat Balls, which I think was just a deep fried ham and cheese. Aka really delicious. But pair that with their other failed ‘Cheeky Jafa’ dessert ball, and the scores just didn’t add up. The balls were not in their court this week, and they were sent home.

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So, who’s left?

1) Monique and Henry

Ever the chilled out entertainers, Monique and Henry were retired to the velour boudoir this week on account of being too good for this Earth. Dressed in only the finest in cheesecutter and slogan tshirt apparel, they enjoyed leisure time watching the other teams cook in an oasis of wine fine. Their main job was to chiming in intermittently to remind the cooks “don’t forget the salt” like a seasoning cuckoo clock. Excited to get them back on the floor next week.

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2) William and Zoe

Damn, these guys are pro. After plating up freaky dry pasta and weird cinnamon chilli con carne, the pair scored poorly. Some of it might also be because William failed to say papparadelle with even half the gusto of Steve from MKRNZ 2014. Luckily, they lifted their game and made tuna that would make the Queen curtsy.

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Finally, in a shocking turn of events, William said booyakasha like Ali G and I actually thought I was going to pass away. Hold on, is MKRNZ actually just a secret platform for Sacha Baron Cohen character impersonators? Investigation pending as soon as I’m done laughing.

 

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3) Stella and Jess

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Despite spending the first episode in bad cook couch jail, they were freed to marinate a fresh ceviché and get the sous vide float machine cranking.

 

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They swept up the protein challenge with very high scores from the famous tasting panel, who were absolutely enamoured with their professional execution. Honestly, I didn’t know what I was looking at half the time.

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4) Jay and Sarah

These two are the only people I have ever seen who can hard-sell healthy food alternatives without making you want to pelt them with cacao nibs. With them, cauliflower rice is a completely fine thing to happen. If only their red meat skills were as refined as their “swapping yum things for less yum things” skills.

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There was also a wonderful revelation this week that Sarah used to work in a fish and chip shop, and the two courted over free milk shakes. Ah, to be literally the perfect couple.

5) Ruth and Cheryl

Didn’t see a lot of Ruth and Cheryl this week, as they knocked it out of the park with their skirt steak salad and Japanese curry, and were exiled to “well done” couch jail. Good to see they have joined the Nosh black parade at least.

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