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When is a not-fetish site actually a fetish site?
When is a not-fetish site actually a fetish site?

MediaOctober 26, 2018

A website tricking people into making fetish content? Sound familiar?

When is a not-fetish site actually a fetish site?
When is a not-fetish site actually a fetish site?

Tickled co-director David Farrier becomes suspicious about yet another website that is very quick to point out that it is not porn. Definitely not porn.


Update, October 30 – Splat! HQ has been in touch with the following response:

With regards to the “This is not an adult website” statement we had on our site. Yes, I admit that was a mistake. It was not intended to throw off potential models but was actually put on the site late last year as the UK’s Hardcore Porn underage blocking law was coming into force. I don’t view, and I am sure you don’t either, view our content as hardcore porn and it was stupid attempt to let people know that fact. It was wrong and in retrospective I can understand what kind of signal that might of sent out.

David, I do appreciate you reaching out to me again. But If I may, I do have one major issue with your article. It was not about The Splat! Show, but since it was mentioned in the same article as we were and it was quite disturbing to myself to be mentioned in the same article. It was regarding the rather disturbing news about a Man asking for children to get messy for reward in your home country. Being linked to that kind of story, indirectly I admit, caused immense stress and upset to myself. We never ask underage models to work with us and always ensure they are over 18.


It all looked so familiar: athletic looking young men in sportswear, talk of a competition, and a terribly designed website.

And then the clincher: “NOT an adult site”:

Oh boy.

I came across Splat! HQ in the same way I came across Competitive Tickling – someone sent me a link with the note “this seems weird”.

Splat HQ, to a naive observer, may seem innocent enough. It’s a site that features videos of people – referred to as ‘contestants’ – being slimed. People get slimed on What Now, and people get slimed on MTV.

The Olsen twins get slimed at the Kid’s Choice awards.

But it’s important to know that – of course – slime is also a fetish.

And when you look around Splat HQ, it seems pretty damn fetishy. There is talk of “sexy models” and “hot releases!”, separate sections of the website for males and females, and you have to pay for the videos after being shown thumbnails like this:

There’s also the fact the many of their likes on Facebook come from accounts with profile pictures of people being slimed, often in various states of undress.

I am no slime fetishist, so I tracked down a slime fetishist to see if their thoughts aligned with mine.

“I have a slime fetish and these videos definitely seem like they’re made for people like me,” Deep Fryer Girl told me.

“They mention the word ‘messy’ a few times in the site, which just kind of confirms for me that they know they’re making fetish material because wet and messy fetishism has a huge online presence”.

“The fact that they have separate pages for male/female ‘contestants’ is what really makes me positive that they know they’re making and selling fetish content.”

This is problematic.

To be clear, there’s no problem with slime fetishes. Fetishes are fine, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult.

The problem is that as it’s being marketed to its online audience as “non-adult content”, you can only assume that it’s being marketed to at least some participants in the same way. That it’s just a wacky slime competition.

Do the people in the slime videos know what they’re actually making?

I emailed Splat HQ with some questions, but they are yet to get back to me.

I was curious to get in touch with some of the models to see if they were aware of the type of content they were creating, but most are listed by their first name only.

Splat HQ had posted the full name of one person, who they claimed was an upcoming competitor: a musician called Sam Callahan.

I emailed Sam’s management to see if he had appeared on Splat HQ, or was going to.

“We have indeed had an enquiry from Splat regarding Sam, however I can confirm that as yet he has not taken part,” replied a spokesperson from Mean Recordings.

I feel like a lot of my life over the last few years has been spent focusing on people desperately trying to trick people into believing a lie.

There was the case of Albi Whale, that Christchurch entrepreneur who signed several doctors up to his cutting-edge AI system which probably doesn’t exist, and the story of the Auckland International Film Festival that wasn’t really much of a film festival at all.

But it’s this weird phenomenon of tricking people into making fetish content that I’m particularly fascinated with.

There were the YouTube challenge videos where adults tricked minors into creating fetish material, the fetish shoot masquerading as an off-broadway play, and of course that popular sport of Competitive Endurance Tickling.

And now slime is on the rise. The New Zealand police put out a warning on October 18 about a local example:

“Police are advising parents to keep a close eye on their children’s social media activity after a series of suspicious posts were made on community pages in Wellington and Auckland.

“The posts are from a man seeking children, often aged between nine and 13 years old, to be part of a game that involves ‘sliming’, ‘gunging’ or pouring custard over themselves and the man.

“The individual offers money, vouchers or tickets to events in exchange for children playing this game with him. He says this game is part of his training as a youth worker or is related to a project he is completing for tertiary study.”

Why all the apparent trickery?

I can only assume it’s much easier to get people to sign up to create fetish content by not telling them it’s fetish content.

Fetish content can be so specific that to outsiders a lot of it just seems like a mundane activity.

For others, the thrill is in the deceit. That certainly seemed to be the case with David D’Amato in Tickled.

I don’t know who is behind the Splat HQ website or Facebook page – the usual searches returned nothing useful at all.

One interesting thing did happen as I wrapped up this story.

While I waited to receive a reply from whoever runs Splat HQ, they removed the “NOT an adult site” disclaimer.

So while it’s not calling itself an adult site, at least it’s not saying it isn’t one.

Baby steps, I guess.

Let’s just hope they’ve passed this memo on to the models.


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Megan and Harry in NZ

MediaOctober 25, 2018

Pregnant Princess Meghan Harry Windsor Cambridge pregnantly tours New Zealand

Megan and Harry in NZ

Emily Writes travels to the future to file the first news report on Meghan and Harry’s forthcoming tour of New Zealand.

Queen Princess Meghorn United Kingdom Duchess and a small red haired man landed in New Zealand, Aotearoa, Middle Earth, today to huge fanfare. Dozens of royal enthusiasts lined the street holding celebratory buckets of deep fried cheese rolls to share with the princely couple.

Duchess Magayn was extremely pregnant and wore a loose dress very pregnantly to hide her pregnant belly, which was indeed with child. Though the slightly more attractive of the prince brothers didn’t touch his wife’s stomach, surely indicating there is trouble in paradise, he did nod happily when asked “Is your wife pregnant?”

He was then asked by a crowd of eager journalists as he came down the stairs of the plane “Do you like New Zealand? Do you love it? Do you love us very much?”

He grinned widely, as did she (but in a very motherly way) and said “Yes! Yes! Tally-Ho! Lord of the Rings! The All Blacks! Wot Wot Cuppa Tea!”

A lip-reader hired by the Daily Mail explained that he then whispered “Death to the Monarchy” into his wife’s ear and she in turn said “Heil Satan” while wearing a delightful Trelise Cooper number which was very slim fitting around her very pregnant waist but with a very subtle 128 layer tutu jorts combination.

First Man Clarke Gayford presented the future King and Queen with a giant snapper.

The fascinating tour continued into Wellington Airport where the lip reader noticed the robust with child royal whisper “why is there a fucking giant eagle hanging from the roof” and the Ginger Lord of our Nation whispered back “It’s cultural”.

At a stand-up press conference a few metres from their last stand-up press conference the married, pregnant couple were asked how they were enjoying their trip to New Zealand.

They both agreed New Zealand was very nice. Allowing us all a wonderful headline “UK VERY MUCH LIKES OUR COUNTRY!”

The commoner princess bride Megelrm wore a pleated pregnant mu-mu by Project Runway NZ designers Misty, Caitlin and Peni.

A group of small children from the local kindergarten were herded into the airport for photo opportunities with the royals. The children were delighted by the presence of the abundant princess and whoever she was with. “I’m hungry,” one said. Another said “I need to poo”. The underpaid teachers rejoiced in trying to control multiple children while holding permission slips for photos from parents.

The gestating duchess smiled as if she was already a mother, thus reaching her societal expectation as mandated by royal decree.

“Do you like the children? Do you like our New Zealand children?” The duch and expectant baby carrier were asked.

“I assuredly do!” the newly tiara-ed incubator, teeming with foetus, declared.

“Will you play with our baby? Our prime minister had a baby too!” a reporter declared, close to tears.

The fecund normal-turned-blue blood smiled and went to answer but before she could a large terrified tuatara was handed to her.

“We have many of these,” Winston Peters shouted, causing the tuatara to lose its bowels all over the proliferate princess. “You can have mine.”

“Why thank you,” the fertile empress murmured fruitfully.

The couple, THREE if you include the baby, not yet born, just a tiny future world leader, were then escorted away by their New Zealand handler who explained their itinerary: a trip to Zealandia where they would be given further tuataras followed by a triples spa with Peter Jackson.

The Generating Gentlewoman would later change into a pair of jeans with a rubber band around the top button and a t-shirt that said “You can’t beat Wellington on a good day” with a picture of Mayor Justin Lester’s smiling face on the back.

As they left the airport, engaging in a press conference in the back of their Kiwi Cab, the prince of London Bridge was both delightful and hilarious. And also charming and funny. He was very cheeky and also a bit naughty. And very much liked New Zealand.

“Your trees are just like ours!” he said delightfully, charmed by our wonderful and prosperous country.

As he said so a couple wearing William and Kate knitted jerseys jumped clear through the window of the town car, spraying glass across the expecting couple. They presented them with congratulatory flowers.

“We don’t like you as much as the other two – but here,” they said, shoving the flowers into the faces of the fructiferous threesome (if you include the unborn baby and we always will).

“Why thank you!” they said.

Afterward the hysterical fans were interviewed by local media.

“One thing I do know is that while my moment was brief, it was genuinely powerful. He made a clear and specific note to make eye contact and had a firm handshake – and as I say, he had surprisingly big hands. Thick, with large fingers and importantly, they weren’t clammy.”

The pregnant princess continued to pregnantly travel around the country quite pregnant carrying a bag full of quite feral tuatara.


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