We’ve trawled through thousands of tatty receipts and scrawled signatures so you don’t have to.
There’s something weirdly intimate about seeing someone else’s receipts. Do we really need to know that one of Andrew Hoggard’s staffers had tasty tuna double avo sushi and a Coke Zero from St Pierre’s Ashburton for lunch, or that a manicured Todd McClay offsider claimed a mocha in lieu of a meal on a visit to Melbourne?
Probably not, yet such governmental transparency is part of what makes us a beacon of democracy amid a rapidly crumbling world order. Or something.
Which brings us to another round of ministerial credit card expenses. Released quarterly by the Department of Internal Affairs, these multi-page documents, crammed with dodgy phone photos of crumpled receipts and screenshots of airport parking bookings, conceal golden nuggets for those nosy and nerdy enough to delve in. Here are some from the last few releases that grabbed The Spinoff’s attention.
A frugal flag spreader for Todd McClay
A year ago, The Spinoff revealed that climate change, energy, revenue and local government minister Simon Watts had spent $322.81 on two flag spreaders for his office, an outlay that had transformed patriotic photo opportunities from lacklustre to lively. At the time, we pointed out that while Watts had opted for premium spreaders, a more budget-conscious option was readily available. It appears trade minister Todd McClay took note, as in October he purchased the exact frugal flag spreader The Spinoff had helpfully linked to back in March, costing the taxpayer a comparatively piddly $34.95 + $5.50 delivery.
The frugal flag spreader did not appear to be in use three weeks later (see a suspiciously flaccid flag below), but it’s not clear if this was because it had yet to be delivered, the minister hadn’t figured out how to work it yet, or because it was a shonky piece of crap that had gone straight in the bin.
An X Premium Basic account for Winston Peters, foreign minister
It’s free to post on X, but the foreign minister felt that filling Elon Musk’s coffers to the tune of $79 a year was an essential ministerial expense in order to secure a “Premium Basic” account for @newzealandmfa. A paid account gives you that all-important blue checkmark, lets you tweet up to 25,000 characters and edit posts within an hour of posting, but can’t prevent ill-advised tweets when you get the pip with the prime minister.
The aforementioned, now-deleted post notwithstanding, Peters tends to present his statesmanly side on the ministerial account, in contrast with the non-taxpayer-funded but also premium @winstonpeters account, which he uses to rail against wokesters and cultural Marxists and the like with his NZ First leader hat on. Either way, good news for when it’s time to renew that annual subscription: Musk has slashed the price to $51.43.
Scott Simpson’s mocktail
When travelling on ministerial business, ministers and their staffers can claim meal allowances, but their beverage of choice should be boozeless. Cue a lot of coffee, sparkling water and Coke Zero, though sometimes someone will opt for something a little more interesting – like an AU$12 apricot sunrise.
The name of the establishment at which commerce minister Scott Simpson dined on October 29, 2025 has been redacted, presumably due to it being at the hotel at which he was staying in Sydney, but The Spinoff’s research skills have proved beyond doubt that the apricot sunrise is a mocktail comprising apricot, pineapple, lychee and lemonade. A bold and delicious pairing with veal schnitzel and fries.
A Swanndri vest for the governor of Utah
On October 18, Simon Watts – or, more likely, a staffer of Simon Watts – purchased this fetching $210 vest from the Swanndri shop on Wellington’s Willis Street, plus some $10 wrapping paper from the Christmas Wonderland store a few doors down. It’s presumed the wrapping paper was not in any way Christmas themed, and was purchased from this store due to its proximity to Swanndri rather than because of some premature fixation with the festive season on the part of the shopper, but this is conjecture.
Anyway, the recipient is listed as “visiting dignitary from Utah”. This is almost certain to be Utah governor Spencer Cox, who led a trade delegation here in October and co-signed a letter of intent with the energy minister.
Simon Watts is particular about pens
Sure, Simon “Mega” Watts is a great nickname for the energy minister, but it doesn’t work so well when he’s got his climate change, local government or revenue hats on. On those occasions, might we suggest Signin’ Watts – the man clearly has a passion for autographing documents of one kind or another, as evidenced above. It’s no surprise, then, to see fancy pens on his ministerial credit card bill: three gold Uniball Signo Broad Rollerballs ($5 each) were purchased from Whitcoulls for the purpose of “contract signing with an ambassador”, but later exchanged for a pair of the pricier WHSmith Brushed Stainless Steel Gold Trim Rollerballs ($13 each).
They can be seen below alongside Watts, Slovenian ambassador Marko Ham (no nickname needed for that guy) and the premium flag spreaders, having served their purpose in the signing of a double tax agreement between the two countries.
Cufflinks, socks and honey, oh my
The parliament gift shop is a perennial favourite for ministers in need of a pressie. In recent months, David Seymour has nabbed a pair of red cufflinks bearing the New Zealand coat of arms for a lucky visiting dignitary from Croatia, Erica Stanford has bought a couple of pairs of socks featuring the pattern of the debating chamber carpet to hand out to unknown recipients on a trip to Sydney, and Judith Collins has picked up some Beehive-branded mānuka honey for her “overseas counterparts”. All with a 20% staff discount!
Todd McClay, the minister of generosity
Todd McClay? More like Todd McClaus – being trade minister basically means buying heaps of presents all the time, if this guy’s credit card bills are anything to go by. A pair of red bands! A Fonterra cheese basket! Various ceramics and objets d’art! In excess of $700 spent on framed photos, engraved plaques and chocolates, all elaborately wrapped, for a visiting Saudi delegation! Nine blocks of premium New Zealand chocolate for the Swiss host of a trade meeting, which seems a little like giving pasta to an Italian or bringing sand to the desert, but you do you, Todd.
