Too much news? Welcome to the only political round-up you need.
How foolish we were to believe that we could just go ahead and have our little election without disruption. Remember there was chat about Pacific travel bubbles? Hahaha hahaha ha ha.
Covid-19 – YES
It’s Covid, bitch. Guess who’s back in the limelight, ruining your day and delaying elections. What a year for Covid. A virtual unknown in January, she went super viral and now has pockets all over the world. Remember how we were so pleased with ourselves, posting photos of natural abnormalities (a sold-out Blues match) and feeling like we’d just clocked the pandemic game? Well now we’re back in it and looking very red in the face. The silver lining is it seems as though everyone’s taking it in stride. And by taking it in stride I mean being waaaay more casual about the level three restrictions than last time. Sigh, we were such over-achievers. I’m genuinely surprised no one has accused Covid-19 of tall poppy syndrome yet.
September 19 – NO
On Monday the prime minister announced that the general election would be delayed four weeks in light of the latest Covid outbreak and response. An October 17 election means four more weeks of campaign hoardings, four more weeks of unnecessary press releases from politicians you’ve never heard of, and four more weeks of spicy takes from the country’s top political columnists. God help us all.
Dr Bloomfield – YES
I have to post a little shout out to Dr Bloomfield for his continuous efforts to pronounce Māori and Pasifika words correctly. Let me preface this by saying that both Māori and Sāmoan languages use very consistent vowel sounds and are largely pronounced exactly as they read so being able to articulate those sounds shouldn’t be cause for celebration. But on Friday, Bloomfield was hit with two fairly tricky Sāmoan words in “taeaofou” and “puaseisei” (Taeaofou I Puaseisei preschool reported one case of Covid-19). Bloomfield gave it the old college try and didn’t do too badly. Mere moments later, Chris Hipkins navigated the double rolled R’s of Rotorua and then stumbled at the finish with “taw-poh”. It’s great to hear correct pronunciation during the briefings and, as with most things, there’s always room for improvement.
Dr Bloomfield – …..NO?
I know it’s basically treason to speak ill of Dr Bloomfield at this point but the ongoing questions around why border staff weren’t being tested as they should have been has (hopefully) reminded everyone that this is literally his job. A job for which he’s compensated to the tune of $500,000+ a year. Thankfully he appears to be quite good at it, but maybe have a think about that before – I dunno – buying a t-shirt with his face on it or raising money to send him flowers.
Chris Hipkins – NO
Likewise, Chris Hipkins has been asking probing questions about how border testing was allowed to lapse during level one. I can’t wait for him to get the answers from the minister of health. Get ‘im, Chris!
David Clark – YES
Look, David Clark may have mortally wounded his political reputation by being mostly useless during the first lockdown but now he’s away from scrutiny and able to chill out while Hipkins becomes the butt of all memes. Sometimes being incompetent is embarrassing. Sometimes being incompetent means no one asks you to do anything (which is great). In Clark’s case, it’s both.
Herbs and Spice Thai Restaurant – YESYESYESYES
I love the Herbs and Spice Thai Restaurant. There’s nothing more to it. When Dr Bloomfield announced that a confirmed case had visited Rotorua and dined at the Herbs and Spice Thai Restaurant, it was just part of his job. But for me, it was like seeing the burning bush. The name? Genius. Dr Bloomfield’s delivery? Evocative. My life? Changed.
To finish, here’s a glimpse into my brain since that prophetic moment. See you next week when the world will be completely different but my love for Herbs and Spice Thai Restaurant will be exactly the same.
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.