The Spinoff’s winners and losers of the week.

• It was a good week for Act MP Brooke Van Velden who, at the grand old age of 33, decided she couldn’t hack the hustle and bustle of parliament and needed to retire to a quieter life outside politics. Which presumably means consulting, lobbying, or consulting for a lobbying firm. 
• It was also a good week for staff at the Public Service Association, who were likely popping champagne corks throughout Wellington after the news of van Velden’s retirement as minister for workplace relations. The hangover the next morning was described as “targeted, temporary, and proportionate”.
• It was a bad week for Waikato Thoroughbred Racing, which realised too late that its new plan for a 164ha racetrack looks like a giant penis. The resource consent application is expected to be long and hard. 

• It was a good week for the Greens, who proposed a fuel relief package – including free public transport and relief payments for low-income and rural people – and got a surprisingly positive review from Newstalk ZB’s Kerry Woodham. What’s next, The Spinoff arguing against public funding for the arts? 
• It was a bad week for motorists, with petrol surpassing $4 a litre in parts of Auckland. At least we’ve invested in lots of alternative transport modes like buses and bike lanes right? Right?
• It was a good week for 13-year-old Hamilton maths prodigy Woojin Kim, who competed to defend his fifth consecutive age group Mathletics world championship. As of publication, Christopher Luxon was trying to contact him seeking an explanation as to why spending $70m on Robbie Williams + Linkin Park doesn’t seem to equal better poll results. 
• It was a good week for midwives, who won a gender discrimination case against the government, with the court agreeing they had suffered pay discrimination on the basis of gender. It was a nerve wracking trial for the midwives, but their lawyers constantly reminded them to stay calm, focus on their breathing, and push through the pain. 
• It was a bad week for New Zealand’s credit. Rating agency Fitch revised the country’s outlook from stable to negative and set the credit rating at AA+, which sounds like the name of a programme for people who are addicted to methylated spirits.