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Screen WEek
Some New Zealand TV shows deserve a reboot. Others, not so much. Photo: Tina Tiller

Pop CultureOctober 25, 2021

Your New Zealand TV reboot requests, ranked

Screen WEek
Some New Zealand TV shows deserve a reboot. Others, not so much. Photo: Tina Tiller

Another Outrageous Fortune spinoff? Maybe. The return of Face the Music? No thank you.

We stare at screens all day and all night. Is this good for us? We’re going to talk about that. Read more Screen Week content here.

If there’s been a common thread across The Spinoff over the past seven days, it’s that making television in New Zealand is hard. Even seemingly successful shows struggle to go the distance. Just look at Step Dave, canned after two seasons five years ago, and Head High, canned after two seasons just last week.

Maybe this whole model needs a rethink. Andrew Szusterman, the South Pacific Pictures boss in charge of those shows, argued that international streaming services should be forced to make local content when they enter a new market. Seeing Netflix’s domination continue to rise when it has just four Kiwi titles on the platform makes it hard to disagree.

But there’s also another option. Maybe we just do what America does and plunder the depths of New Zealand’s televisual history for content. Our TV landscape is littered with the carcasses of short-lived series canned well before their time. Just last weekend, the Vaxathon, based on those Telethons of old, proved that model can work wonderfully when fixed to a cause.

Here, after an entire week dedicated to screens, we’ve been discussing many of our favourite shows that deserve the remake and reboot treatment, from the sizzling comedy of The Jaquie Brown Diaries, to the huge shoulder pads of Gloss, and the short-lived craziness of Come Dine With Me NZ.

But we wanted to hear from others about their favourite ageing New Zealand TV shows. We put the call out and received so many replies, we decided to rank them, in order of likelihood that they’ll ever see another season.

Sorry, all you Finding J Smith fans. You may want to stop reading now…

17. Face the Music

No one needs Simon Barnett, his blond highlights and his “dad bod” hosting a bonus round of this jingle jangle wrangle ever again. RIP, frosted tips.

16. Finding J Smith

Also no. Leave Jenny Smith alone.

15. Neighbours at War

What the world needs less of is people fighting about driveways, fencelines and puppy poo. These days, we have community Facebook pages for that.

14. Spot On

One of my earliest childhood memories is watching Phil Keoghan host a Spot On segment about UFOs. It terrified me and still gives me chills. I do not support the return of Spot On in any way, shape or form. Stick to The Amazing Race and organising your Emmy collection, buddy.

13. Ice TV

Jon Bridges has his hands full running The Project, Nathan Rarere is the first voice anyone hears on Radio NZ every morning, and Petra Bagust hosts a bunch of podcasts. The former Ice TV hosts are too busy to do this. Besides, three middle-aged presenters fronting an edgy ‘youf’ music show will never be a good idea.

12. Clash of the Codes

In my mind, Clash of the Codes features fire fighters, police officers and ambulance staff duking it out in brutal physical and mental endeavours, finding the toughest emergency staffer once and for all. In reality, it’s bloody Simon Barnett again, this time in a blue Wiggles jumper yelling at sheep shearers. No thanks.

11. Nothing Trivial

Three seasons! Step Dave only got two. Stop being greedy!

10. Go Girls

Five seasons! Head High only got two! Stop being greedy!

9. Jackson’s Wharf

I am into a show that promises “sordid affairs, violent emotions and a good old fashioned lynch mob”. I am also into a show that keeps Nicole Whippy permanently on our screens. Yes please.

8. Get it to Te Papa

This suggestion, it turns out, comes from someone who worked on the excellent one-season Spinoff show. I won’t say who. But I wholeheartedly support this request with absolutely no bias whatsoever.

7. Being Eve

This seems cool.

6. Back of the Y

back of the y
Matt Heath in Back of the Y.

Look, if the louts from Jackass can still make daredevil stunt movies in their 50s, why can’t Matt Heath and his team of shambolic Kiwi prankster wannabes?

5. TVNZ U

Yes. It should never have been cancelled in the first place. Sniff.

4. The Strip

If someone can coax Taika Waititi to take his shirt off again for a reboot of this early 2000s fave, it’s bound to get commissioned. He does seem to have his hands pretty full with Ewoks and vampires these days though.

3. Tux Wonder Dogs

What the world needs right now, more than anything, is Mark Leishman whistling at puppies doing tricks. Make this brain balm happen, please, immediately.

2. Xena: Warrior Princess

Sadly, you’re not going to get Lucy Lawless to put her battle armour back on anytime soon. She’s made that clear in multiple interviews over the years. But, according to the star herself, a reboot could already be underway. There’s a Xena quote for every moment, so it seems the appropriate time to say: “Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.”

1. Outrageous Fortune

We’ve already had six seasons of Outrageous Fortune, and another six of the prequel Westside. Yet apparently you want more. Lots more. Everyone’s favourite Westie family received the most votes, including one fan demanding, “A spinoff of the Outrageous Fortune spinoff”. An Outrageous Fortune Cinematic Universe? Out of everything on this list, it seems the most likely to have legs.

Last year, the show’s creator, James Griffin, said this:  “I would never say never ever again for the Wests.” He’s been imagining a show about Van, Jethro, Loretta and Pascalle at high school in the 90s. “That would be quite fun, to cast teen versions of them and see what Shadbolt High was like.” Cross your fingers and neck a can of Lion Red, because this could end up being a thing.

Keep going!
Hollie Smith
Hollie Smith’s new album is her first in five years. Photo: Tina Tiller

Pop CultureOctober 23, 2021

Hollie Smith is emerging into the light

Hollie Smith
Hollie Smith’s new album is her first in five years. Photo: Tina Tiller

Five years in the making, Hollie Smith has braved a relationship break-up, confidence issues and multiple lockdowns to make her new album happen. She talks to Chris Schulz.

A few weeks into Auckland’s current lockdown, Hollie Smith spray painted a piece of cardboard lime green. She spent time doing her own hair, make-up and wardrobe, then poured herself a gin and tonic and began thinking deep thoughts, about the world and “what I’m doing with my life”.

Then she walked downstairs to her makeshift film studio, sat in front of her homemade green screen, lit up a light ring, pressed record, and began singing into the camera.

Her dog sat in the corner, unimpressed, watching on.

The results, a stark, bare-boned music video filmed for the title track of Smith’s new album, are intense. Released on Friday after a rollercoaster five years, she named it Coming In From the Dark after emerging from last year’s lockdowns. “It’s one of those moments where you feel a burden dropping. You feel like you’re emerging from something that was holding you back,” she says.

But much of her album is also inspired by a relationship break-up. “It was feeling like I sort of wasn’t getting anywhere, hitting my head against a brick wall really and going, ‘Ah, okay, I don’t need to do that,'” she says. It’s made her new album more personal than the previous four. “It’s not normally something I write about,” she says. “I got some good material out of this one.”

All of that comes through in her black-and-white video, a fiercely intense watch that becomes joyous and uplifting as Smith’s vocals, a kiss off to an ex, soar alongside strings supplied by the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra.

It looks like $1 million was spent on it. It cost Smith far less.

“How much does spray paint cost? It cost about $10,” she laughs, beaming in on a Zoom call from the same room she shot the clip in. She didn’t know how her selfie video would come out, and yells, “Yes!” when I tell her it’s mesmerising.

“I thought, ‘I’ll just sing it to camera … as honestly as I can.’”

Honesty is all over Smith’s new album. The 38-year-old pieced it together like a patchwork quilt through multiple recording sessions in gaps between last year’s lockdowns. Because of those super-personal lyrics, she believes it contains some of her best material yet. “Previously I’ve tried to keep things a little cryptic because I don’t want to be that exposed,” she says.

This time, as she jammed on her keyboard, she opened up. “Writing’s always going to be a cathartic process … it just falls out of me. It’s an unconscious kind of bleargh.”

It’s making Smith feel vulnerable. Nearing the release of her album, she’s been plagued by doubts. On her mind right now: “Is this still going to be relevant? Are people going to listen? Will people come to my shows?”

Yes, even after a celebrated career with a Best Female Solo Artist title next to her name, Smith remains nervous about releasing new music. “It’s kind of terrifying. I’ve had a pretty good run,” she says. “Is it going to continue? Do I need to get a job?”

Her concerns are, of course, needless, because Smith’s new album is stunning. From the uplifting sway of ‘Something Good’ to the brooding ‘Damage Done’ and the album’s centrepiece, the break-up piano ballad ‘The One to Go’, painful moments are turned into exquisite beauty, with Smith’s powerhouse vocals on full display.

Many first heard that voice on Smith’s APRA-winning 2006 single ‘Bathe in the River’, the breakout song from the soundtrack for the film No. 2. It’s a song Smith has “issues” with. That’s because the Don McGlashan-penned ballad hijacked her career, pegging her as a singer at a time when Smith wanted to be known for much more.

It put her in a box, one she’s been trying to escape ever since.

“I walked in, sung it four times, walked out again,” she says about the invite from McGlashan, who was putting the film’s soundtrack together with a supergroup called the Mt Raskil Preservation Society. “Next minute it’s this massive song.”

Smith had hoped 2007’s Long Player, her major label debut, would be her big statement, and make her known as much for her musicality as her muscular voice. “I wanted the album to come out and for people to see this body of work and acknowledge I was a musician,” she says.

Ever since, she’s written and arranged every moment of her albums, including her new one. If anything, she hopes Coming In From the Dark proves that once and for all.

Right now, Smith’s eager to go through her own process of letting go. Stuck in Tāmaki Makaurau’s seemingly endless lockdown, she’s exercising regularly, taking her dog for jogs, and scratching her travel itch by touring a virtual New York in Spider-Man video games on her Playstation.

Smith’s desperate to begin work on her new material, and points to the keyboard beside her as the place all her new songs start. “That’s where the magic happens,” she says.

But she can’t – her new album is still under her skin. She’s eager to get on the road and tour the album, let it loose in the world, but with dates planned across November and December, Smith doesn’t know if the current lockdowns will allow those shows to go ahead.

“I need to cut the cord,” she says, before nodding at the room around her. “Not being able to leave home does throw a spanner in the works.”

Hollie Smith’s Coming In From the Dark is out now. For tour dates visit holliesmith.co.nz.