Mind the gap sign

SocietyMarch 8, 2017

Treat Her Right: Why it’s time for us to start caring about care work

Mind the gap sign

With the equal pay conversation in full swing, Dr Catherine Trundle examines the undervaluing women’s care work in society, and the steps we need to take to demand change.

Displays of overt sexism have a way of making many of us feel smugly superior. Anyone who publically utters opinions egregiously out of step with today’s gender norms can expect to hear a collective and outraged inhalation of breath across the nation.

So it was recently when Massey university chancellor Chris Kelly casually and erroneously lamented the high number of women vet school graduates, who are “equivalent to two-fifths of a fulltime equivalent vet throughout her life because she gets married and has a family, which is normal”. Chris Kelly was not the first to tread unawares into a hornet’s nest of sexism.

In 2011, The Employers and Manufacturers Association chief Alasdair Thompson explained the gender pay gap to Newstalk ZB radio with unapologetic frankness. “Let me get down to tin tacks. The fact is women have babies. They take time out of their careers … Look at who takes the most sick leave. Women do, in general, why? Because once a month they have sick problems. Not all women, but some do they have children they have to take time off to go home and take leave”.

In both cases public disapproval was swift. Under pressure, both men stepped down or were sacked from their positions. Spokespeople for these organisations were unequivocal in their condemnation: there is no place for neo-Victorian views that tie women to the kitchen sink and define them primarily by their reproductive capabilities.

Such incidences play out as public morality dramas, helping us to collectively affirm what we stand for by distancing us from what we don’t. It is part of our progressive national mythology. After all, we are the country that first gave women the vote. Calling out overt sexism is an easy way to feel like a modern feminist. And it’s an easy way to feel part of a very necessary fight against an obvious modern injustice: the gender pay gap.

When men make public statements that say, in no uncertain terms, that women are inferior employees because of their biology, I too am outraged and quick to join the chorus of disapproval. But there is always something about such public outcries, which tend to fall into silence as quickly as they erupt, that make me pause. I’m reminded of the crucial fact that this is not the main problem we face. The greater issue is one that underpins the workings of our whole society and in which, willingly or unwillingly, aware or unaware, we are all complicit. This is the question of how we value, reward and notice the work that women do.

How we classify and value “women’s work” comes down to a deep-seated social division we just haven’t been able to shake, even in contemporary times. This is the sharp line we draw between the public and private spheres. We still live in a society split between Adam Smith’s world of work, enterprise, competition and self-interest, and the private domain of care, love, selflessness, and family. The former is still a man’s world, and the latter is still without doubt a feminine sphere.

For women, the move out of the home has been gradual but steady. Indeed, it’s easy to forget how far we have come. For the first half of the twentieth century most women, if they worked at all, only found jobs in limited, low paid areas of the economy, and only until they married. A woman who didn’t then put family first was deemed a suspect, selfish character, and many husbands simply didn’t allow their wives to seek employment. While many women gave up work willingly to fulfil their ‘real purpose’, in many countries in the 1930s and 40s women were legally prohibited from being employed once married. In the UK, for example, a ‘marriage bar’ forced married women to quit banking jobs till the 1950s. Meanwhile, in 1940s New Zealand legislation set the minimum wage for women at 70% of the male minimum wage, a law not seriously challenged until the Equal Pay act of 1972.

On the face of it, things seem so much better today. Yet the deep-rooted assumptions that governed life in the early 20th century still persist. We glimpse these attitudes when the two spheres of public and private get blurred, causing many to decry that society’s moral core is under threat. Ultimately, a woman just shouldn’t do for money the things she does selflessly for her family. And if she does provide care work, intimacy work, or reproductive work outside the family for money, then it’s either ‘shameful’ (prostitution), illegal (paid surrogacy), or badly compensated (aged care work).

On this point I always think back to the 1970s Marxist feminists’ take on inequality. These women might seem too radical and angry for today’s chic feminism, but they still have something important to say: in order to function, capitalism requires a fundamental division of labour between the unpaid feminine work of reproduction, and the paid masculine work of production.

And here’s the rub. Care work, our society tells us, is just something women should do “naturally”, and from which they should gain deep fulfilment, irrespective of remuneration. Deep down we just don’t think women should be paid to do something that they are supposedly designed to do by biological instinct. And the idea of  “a natural talent” translates within our labour market to mean “unskilled”. But anyone who has carefully watched or experienced care work knows the immense skills required.

I certainly know; I have a toddler. The most energy that I expend on any working day is between 6am and 8am as I get our son ready for preschool. After I’ve dropped him off I arrive at work, shut the door to my office, and enjoy a quiet cup of tea to recover. My husband and I both agree that, despite our busy jobs juggling lecturing, research and leadership roles, teaching a rambunctious toddler how to live in the world is by far the harder job.

At the other end of the spectrum, I remember visiting my grandmother, suffering from advanced dementia, in her aged care facility. Here, the good care workers exhibited careful interpersonal skills, emotional nuance, practical knowledge and medical know-how. Despite their low pay, this struck me as just as complex a form of knowledge as what you’ll find in my own profession of academia.  I was always surprised at how hard I found tasks that the carers made look easy, like feeding my grandmother a glass of water without her choking. And questions of skills aside, this work is just so crucially important. It is the work of reproducing society; ensuring people have healthy beginnings and worthwhile ends to life.

A mainstream approach to the gender pay gap argues that women earn less because they “choose” the wrong types of work. They tend to work in caring professions such as social work and welfare, education, health and clerical sectors that do not pay well. But this ignores the fact that in many societies, no matter what the type of work, if women are dominant in a vocation, they just won’t be paid well. In Russia, for example, where the vast majority of doctors are women, the profession is relatively poorly paid. And when (mostly female) “cooks” became  (mostly male) “chefs” in the 20th century, it became a significantly higher paid ‘career’, with possible celebrity status to boot (how many female judges are there on recent TV cooking shows?). On the flipside, when teaching went from a male dominated profession to a female career, the pay and prestige both tanked.

Let’s be brutally honest here: this isn’t just about care work, it’s about the work that women do and their lesser status in society. And let’s also not kid ourselves that this is exclusively a gender issue. It’s inseparable from wider intersecting inequalities. Maori, Pasifika and immigrant groups are also overrepresented in areas of work that are valued less, seen as less skilled, and paid poorly.

It’s these points our politicians just don’t seem to get. Former minister for women Louise Upston argued that, “We need young girls to be considering careers where there is high demand, high growth, and high wages. Whether it’s in science and technology, ICT, or the trades”. But this overlooks the very real tension in feminism today, which is the struggle between gaining equity within male dominated domains (the ‘Lean in’ model), or fighting for a world governed by different values, a world in which care labour can be appreciated and rewarded, one in which our economy is organised differently to make care work really matter.  

Steven Joyce argued recently, in defending national levels of inequality, that “Going back through time there are some people that are more successful than others… And some of them want to go into business and be successful and…Others don’t have those motivations, they want other things like the best for their families.” This is a telling little quote. Ultimately, one must choose between family and money. Family – as a domain of care, love and voluntary labour – is not compatible with the world of “business” and “success”. This sentiment amounts to blaming women and minorities for not being ambitious enough, at the same time as assuming that it’s natural for them to want family over careers.

These issues do not generate neat or obvious solutions. They don’t produce easily digestible moments of public outrage and condemnation. They require a far more subversive stance against a reality that is deeply and powerfully ingrained. Don’t get me wrong, yes, we should all be pragmatic feminists some of the time. Go fight for immediate legislative steps to ensure greater transparency on pay, better maternity leave, cheaper childcare, and equal pay for equal work. These are all necessary steps in the immediate term.

But we shouldn’t let our vision for change stop there. We need to start with shifting attitudes and demanding something different. Let’s all start encouraging uncomfortable conversation in our workspaces, not only about how much different employees are paid, but what these pay rates say about how we value different types of labour. Let’s challenge how promotion criteria or pay scales operate in our workspaces to account for the hidden forms of care work that go on unacknowledged and unrewarded.  

Let’s also take a hard look at our own attitudes to the care workers upon which we all depend, the preschool teachers, cleaners, mothers, grandmothers, who underpin our economy. Let’s think about how we might reimagine work routines to make it easier for men, as well as women, to take on family care roles. And for working mothers, let’s start having those private, guarded conversations – about how difficult or impossible the family/work juggle is – in front of our bosses and colleagues. Challenging deeply ingrained social attitudes to care is the first step. From there we can start to reimagine work, family and gender norms in ways that make care work finally count.  


Click here to sign the Treat Her Right pledge to pay the sisters the same as the misters.

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The Aunties believe that it’s crucial to recognise, acknowledge, and nurture the power we all have within. The Aunties whānau are a grouping of indigenous women who are powerful and extraordinary in their survival of domestic violence abuse. (Supplied)
The Aunties believe that it’s crucial to recognise, acknowledge, and nurture the power we all have within. The Aunties whānau are a grouping of indigenous women who are powerful and extraordinary in their survival of domestic violence abuse. (Supplied)

SocietyMarch 8, 2017

‘Women are silenced every minute of every day.’ A chat with Twitter hero Aunty Jackie

The Aunties believe that it’s crucial to recognise, acknowledge, and nurture the power we all have within. The Aunties whānau are a grouping of indigenous women who are powerful and extraordinary in their survival of domestic violence abuse. (Supplied)
The Aunties believe that it’s crucial to recognise, acknowledge, and nurture the power we all have within. The Aunties whānau are a grouping of indigenous women who are powerful and extraordinary in their survival of domestic violence abuse. (Supplied)

Alex Casey talks to Jackie Clark, donations co-ordinator for several women’s refuges in Auckland, about New Zealand’s gender violence problem and what people can do to help.

Trigger warning: partner violence and emotional and psychological abuse.

The first time I met Aunty Jackie she was flashing her breasts at an MRA activist on Queen Street at the end of the Women’s March. “It was the only thing that would shut him up,” she guffawed, weeks later in The Spinoff board room. It worked, the lone wolf in pleather stood in stunned silence, as did I at Jackie’s ferocious no-fucks feminism.

Jackie Clark, centre, at the Auckland Women’s March in January.

When she’s not owning MRA’s on Queen Street, you may have seen Jackie in various corners of the internet, working for The Aunties as a 24 hour a day community noticeboard, collecting donations for a number of Auckland women’s refuges, from whiteware to tampons, Christmas gifts to blue hair dye. We met up on the eve of International Women’s Day to talk about the work that she does, the state of feminism, and what New Zealand can do to fix its gender violence problem.

I seem to see you everywhere on the internet doing everything from writing blogs to collecting donations, what exactly is your job and how is it involved with the refuge?

I don’t even know how to describe my job, partially because I created it myself and it’s an ever-evolving thing. My official title is donations co-ordinator for the refuge; I field calls, texts and emails from women who need stuff. Just recently I was in touch with this woman who said she needed a fridge, so I jumped on Twitter and asked for a secondhand fridge. One of the Aunties messaged me immediately and said ‘I will buy her a fridge’. It’s as simple as that, asking the basic question ‘what do you need?’ and then getting it for them. The whole thing is about providing stuff for them so that they have less on their plate to worry about.

The other biggest part for me is working on relationships. I’ve also been working with the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective for six weeks, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s already at that stage where I know exactly what they need already. I go to our big storage unit of donations and sort out what they need. One of the girls there I asked the same question: what do you need? She said ‘for real’? And I got her what she wanted which was a bag of hoodies and jeans and things. It’s just figuring out what people need.

My life is varied and different and it’s a full-time job that I don’t get paid for. It’s chaotic, but I wouldn’t be doing anything else. I get to hug a lot of people, and I get to see people smile. When I go to the refuge or the NZPC, I’m the voice they talk to. I get to see how every donation impacts lives.

What were you doing before the Aunties, and how did you become involved?

I had been a kindergarten teacher for 20 years. As I was teaching, I became more and more involved in the mums. We had a real bad spate of unhappy children and we realised that their families were always either disrupted, unsettled, had mothers or fathers in prison, financial struggles or domestic violence issues. There was a whole gamut of stuff that leads to deep, deep unhappiness.

I figured out that kids are happy when families are happy, particularly the mothers. I’m being very gender-specific about that because I was working in a community where fathers were not the sole caregivers. For me that’s where society’s ills come from, if women and mothers aren’t happy then whānau are fucked. I started a bit of social work through the kindy and my passion for the teaching was ebbing away more and more. Four years ago I rang up the refuge, because the kids always leave clothes and shoes behind every single term and I was sick of it. This woman came out to pick the clothes up. I didn’t know anything about the refuge, so I just thought she was a volunteer. Turns out she ran the place, that’s how desperate they were for donations at the time.

After that, I started getting stuff through my social media channels for one woman who was pregnant and didn’t have any support. That was just me and my Facebook friends, and then it got a little bit bigger and people would ask me something like ‘can we get a microwave?’ I would put it out on Facebook and then BAM: microwave. I first visited the refuge myself in February 2013. I will never forget walking through that door and one of the woman saying ‘thank you for being my friend’.

In that moment, a light went on in my head. These women need stuff, yes, but they also need a friend. I started going every week with whatever stuff I had to give them. That carried on until my best friend was diagnosed with cancer and I stopped doing anything at all. She died six weeks later. I was at home for two weeks, and immediately I rang the refuge and said ‘we need to step this up’. And we did.

I stuck myself into refuge work from then on. It was my dream for the refuge girls to never have to pay for food, because I opened the pantry there one day and there was nothing aside from some expired tins of tomatoes. They were relying on weekly deliveries from the food bank, but people who have ever been to food banks know you just get what you’re given. We’ve fixed that now with our Givealittle.

You mentioned the Aunties, who are the exactly? They seem like The Avengers?

They are just whoever, just an amorphous group of people. If you give me stuff, you’re an Aunty, as simple as that. There are a core group of about 50 people who do stuff all the time, some of them do it because the refuge has saved their life. A lot of the Aunties have been through abuse, and some of them are men. My thing has always been that Aunties give what they can, when they can. I don’t care how much it is, it’s just that you put your heart into it when you do. Just give me $2, I don’t give a shit.

Having worked closely with the refuge, what are some of the misconceptions around domestic violence in New Zealand?

People think that it happens to them [gestures far away]. They ‘other’ it. It’s the Once Were Warriors thing. Look, it’s a great movie with great acting but it’s completely fallacious. That movie said to people ‘this is what domestic violence looks like and this is who does it’. Wrong, on both accounts. It’s what it looks like for some people, but that’s not the way it is for everyone.

That’s basically the biggest myth about domestic violence: that it’s always physical. From my experience, and the women I’ve worked with and talked to around New Zealand, that’s not most of what it looks like. In the refuge there are mostly women whose abuse is mostly verbal, emotional and psychological.The second myth is that women who live with domestic violence are always cowering in a corner. That’s wrong too, most of them are staunch as fuck.

The third myth is that is mostly happens in Māori and Pacific communities. As I said, I know a lot of white women who have never, ever talked about it in public because they are not allowed to. If you are a white woman who is living with a rich and powerful abusive man, he has most likely legally gagged you. You are silenced. You cannot speak. You dare not to talk about it. White middle class men exact more violence using the courts than anything I’ve ever seen.That is something that happens across white men, Māori men and Pacific men: they all manage to convince everyone that it’s the woman’s fault. And they are believed.

The other really big myth is that leaving solves everything. Leaving doesn’t stop it, if they are trying to destroy you then they will destroy you. It goes on through the courts, text messaging, protection orders getting constantly broken. I know women from relationships 10 years ago where the man is still trying to wreck their lives. There are different types of abuse and abusers, but there is one thing they have in common: control.

There’s so much I didn’t know about this.

That’s the problem: nobody knows. Women are silenced everyday, every minute of everyday. Either by their abuser, the circumstances around it, or because it’s not your story to tell. I remember a couple of people on Twitter having a go at me for using the women’s initials on my blog, when women have asked me to share their own stories. People have this ridiculous idea that even mentioning what happens to them is dangerous. That’s part of what exacerbates the problem: the silencing.

Jackie Clark, right, at the Auckland Women’s March earlier this year.

You said you don’t get paid earlier – I’m just wondering how the fuck people involved with refuge work manage to sustain it?

This work is just really fucking undervalued in general. People think that because I run around and pick up things and organise, it’s not of worth. That’s been interesting to see, social workers are the ultimate feminists in our society – and they get paid shit. The woman who runs the refuge gets shit. She helps to save women’s lives and she still gets next to nothing. Nobody wants to look after women.

After we had a really bad spate of women going back to their abusive relationships, I asked one of the social workers how she coped. She said ‘all we can do is give them love and hope, and show that while they are here life can be peaceful. It’s all about giving these women joy and dignity. Domestic violence feels really undignified, you lose so much of yourself and you are so embarrassed that this is happening to you. Whether it’s through othering, or racism and sexism, everyone makes them feel embarrassed.

What do you think we can do to change that ‘othering’ in New Zealand society?

It’s really simple. We blow apart the gender construct.

Simple!

Well yeah, it’s a long process but you start to blow it apart. In terms of domestic violence in New Zealand, we’ve got to change the idea of what it is to be a man. That’s where the problem is, in the socialisation of men. It’s generational, if you see your father treating their mother a certain way then what are they going to do with their partner? Men have come to believe that they have control because we let them. When we cook dinner, who gets served first? The man. Why the fuck is that?

Violence also stops when we stop hiding that fact that we are really bad at dealing with it. Think about the All Blacks who smash their partners! Think about Tony Veitch! It’s also a problem with the women that then circle these men knowing the truth. I know women who have been open about their abuse and have had their own friends stop talking to them. People would rather just push it aside and not know. We’ve allowed that to happen.

I was actually talking to a 75 year old woman on the phone one day who told me about her abusive husband. It was the first time she had told anyone, it happened 47 years ago and he’d been dead for 15 years. You know what she said to me? ‘I still hate him everyday’. She was 75 and she had never talked about it. Women don’t, because they know what the reaction will be – ‘he’s a really nice guy’ or ‘everyone makes mistakes’.

What do you suggest if there are women reading this who might find themselves affected by partner violence in some form?

You have to have your own agency and come into it on your own. But you have to have to know that you are good enough, and if someone is telling you that you or wrong or stupid or a bitch, that person is wrong to do that. You are good enough. Love isn’t making people feel like shit, love is making people feel great and love and safe and protected. If you don’t feel like that, there might be something going on for you.

What I would say to people who are the friends of women affected, the only thing you can do is just be there. Lose judgement, you don’t know the relationship so you just have to be there. When people are stuck in that stuff, they need to know there’s a possibility to leave. Don’t tell them to leave, but offer them an out if they need it. And listen. There isn’t anything you can say.

Finally, for International Women’s Day, how has the work impacted on your feminism?

It’s a really weird thing, I’ve noticed there are women half my age who think that their feminism is more important than kindness. If you are a feminist and you don’t think someone who’s trans or gender neutral can be a feminist, you can fuck right off. If you don’t support equal rights for everybody, and I mean everybody, then what the fuck are you doing? Feminism doesn’t move forward until we all move forward together.

It’s simple: we have to be at forefront of equity for all marginalised people. Feminism is big enough and ugly enough to do that now. People always say to me ‘how can I help?’ You can pay attention is what you can do. If you are paying attention to these women, you’ll find you are paying attention to everything else.

How to get – and provide – help

If you’re affected by partner violence:

Crisisline: 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (lines are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week)

If you’re in danger NOW:

  • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.
  • Run outside and head for where there are other people.
  • Scream for help so that your neighbours can hear you.
  • Take the children with you.
  • Don’t stop to get anything else.

womensrefuge.org.nz

Shine – making homes violence free

Support the Aunties:

aunties.co.nz

givealittle.co.nz/cause/kapawhaea

facebook.com/refugeaunties


The Society section is sponsored by AUT. As a contemporary university we’re focused on providing exceptional learning experiences, developing impactful research and forging strong industry partnerships. Start your university journey with us today.