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Image: The Spinoff

SocietyOctober 8, 2024

The Spinoff guide to life: How to swim in a public pool

A man performing a tumble turn on a pink graphic background.
Image: The Spinoff

Here’s how to avoid being a pain in the arse while you’re swimming.

With summer just around the corner and school holidays in full swing, your local pools have probably been busier than usual. Whether you’ve decided to start training for a triathlon, shred for summer, or take up swimming just for the hell of it, there are some fundamental rules that even the most unscrupulous humans should follow. Take heed. 

I’m keen to start swimming at my local pool. How do I not embarrass myself?

For lap swimming, most pools have lanes labeled “fast,” “medium,” “slow,” and “walking/fun.” While everyone’s idea of these speeds are different, it’s important to choose the lane that best suits your pace to avoid frustrating other users. If you’re taking it easy, the slow lane is the place for you. Just jumping in to cool down quickly? Hit the walking lane. But if you’re a regular swimmer aiming to swim a kilometre in 15 minutes, wearing speedos and swim cap, the fast lane is where you belong.

Do I need to do anything before jumping in?

Showering before entering the pool is a great way to show consideration for your fellow pool users. You might have just had a workout, be cooling down after a sauna, or maybe you just worked a hard shift – whatever it is that’s made you stink, rinsing off the sweat and grime before swimming ensures the pool stays as clean as possible. Also, avoid strong perfumes or lotions as these can contaminate the pool water and bother others with allergies or sensitivities.

Speaking of showering, if you’re using one of the showers outside of the changing rooms, don’t hog it for five minutes while people queue up behind you. These showers are for a quick rinse only. Oh, and don’t spit in them or blow your nose gunk out onto the ground either.

Probably one of New Zealand’s most famous pools, the movie pool at the now defunct Waiwera Hot Pools. (Photo: supplied)

Can I swim in a baggy T-shirt?

While I’m not usually one to dictate what people wear, it does pay to think about what you’re swimming in for public decency reasons. Not only does snug, functional attire like speedos or a one-piece allow for efficient movement and reduce drag, it helps you avoid malfunctions mid-swim so you can keep the environment family-friendly. 

If you still want to cover up your top half, spend a few bucks on a cheap rash shirt. Following pool guidelines on appropriate wear helps maintain a comfortable and respectful space for everyone.

All the lanes have people in them. Can I still swim?

Pools can be notoriously busy places, especially after work hours. The first thing to do is look at the pace of the people already swimming. If they’re going at a similar pace to yours, hop in.

If you’re joining an already occupied lane, make sure the swimmers are aware of your presence. A simple awkward smile, hand gesture, or verbal acknowledgement goes a long way in keeping things smooth and ensuring you don’t get hit in the face by someone powering down the middle of the lane because they didn’t know you were there.

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Me and my mates are keen to throw a ball around or lounge out on our giant inflatable banana, that’s all good eh?

It depends on where you’re doing it. If you’re sitting in the spa, it’s a good idea to adopt a passive relaxation mindset. If you’re in the fun lane of a big pool, it’s probably fine to throw a ball around, as long as there’s no one nearby that might accidentally cop a stray volley or rugby ball to the dome.

While having fun is important, excessive splashing can be annoying when others are trying to relax – try to keep it to a minimum when you’re near people chilling or trying to swim peacefully. 

Large inflatable toys can take up a lot of space, so if you’re using them, make sure you’re not crowding out others. If the pool gets too busy, it might be a good idea to remove them to free up space.

A girl in a floating ring makes a face with a poo floating by in the pool.
Pool poos are never OK.

The pool is closed due to a “code brown”, what is that?

I regret to inform you that someone has vomited or shat in the water. Children can understandably have difficulty controlling their bowel motions, so if you’re a parent with young children, please use a swim nappy or take the kids to the bathroom before letting them loose. 

But if you’re able to read this story, you’re probably old enough to recognise when you need to excuse yourself from the pool to answer nature’s call. Do not, I repeat, do not do a sneaky piss in the water.

I’m keen to pop a manu. That all good?

Some pools have designated areas especially for diving or bombing, but if in doubt, check with a lifeguard. If diving is allowed, always check the area before jumping in to make sure no one is nearby and that the pool is deep enough. In crowded pools, it’s usually best to avoid diving altogether. Sorry.

Keep going!
a red grid background overlaid with a green receipt and the words The Cost of Being in white with green and red backgrounds on alternating words. In the centre of the image is a red picnic basket, a green coat and a black and white bowl of porridge. To the left are two green dollar signs.
Image: The Spinoff

SocietyOctober 8, 2024

The cost of being: A graduate with health issues who works for an NGO

a red grid background overlaid with a green receipt and the words The Cost of Being in white with green and red backgrounds on alternating words. In the centre of the image is a red picnic basket, a green coat and a black and white bowl of porridge. To the left are two green dollar signs.
Image: The Spinoff

As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a 23-year-old who’s ‘constantly on edge’ about finances explains how they get by.

Want to be part of The Cost of Being? Fill out the questionnaire here.

Gender: Gender fluid.

Age: 23.

Ethnicity: Māori Irish.

Role: Queer disabled graduate, working as a project coordinator at an NGO.

Salary/income/assets: Less than $50k a year.

My living location is: Urban.

Rent/mortgage per week: Three-bedroom house with four flatmates including myself because one of them lives in what should be the study, $210 per week.

Student loan or other debt payments per week: $90,000 student loan for a law degree and politics degree, plus costs for medication that isn’t subsidised because it’s for endometriosis and specialist appointments.

Typical weekly food costs

Groceries: $90.

Eating out: $20.

Takeaways: $20

Workday lunches: $0

Cafe coffees/snacks: $10.

Other food costs: $0

Savings: I managed to save $500 once, but then I had to spend it on dental care because my wisdom teeth needed to come out.

I worry about money: Always.

Three words to describe my financial situation: Constantly on edge.

My biggest edible indulgence would be: Porridge.

In a typical week my alcohol expenditure would be: None.

In a typical week my transport expenditure would be: $30.

I estimate in the past year the ballpark amount I spent on my personal clothing (including sleepwear and underwear) was: $500.

My most expensive clothing in the past year was: A winter coat, it cost me $120.

My last pair of shoes cost: $20, my feet hurt SO bad lol but shoes are expensive.

My grooming/beauty expenditure in a year is about: $40 for Kmart DIY products and YouTube tutorials.

My exercise expenditure in a year is about: $50 for socks and shoes and a couple of T-shirts.

My last Friday night cost: $40, we did a potluck picnic.

Most regrettable purchase in the last 12 months was: A gym membership. I thought it would be a nice treat but it just ended up being really expensive and I punished myself if I didn’t go because it meant I could’ve spent the money on food.

Most indulgent purchase (that I don’t regret) in the last 12 months was: My winter coat. It’s great not freezing to death.

One area where I’m a bit of a tightwad is: Clothes. I’m autistic so I prefer to wear the same outfit (or some variation) every day and don’t have enough money to buy nicer clothes because then I would have to buy enough to wear the same thing every day.

Five words to describe my financial personality would be: Capitalism’s bitch – broke girl edition.

I grew up in a house where money was: Not an issue. But because my parents grew up in homes where money was an issue they were incredibly strict with it and never let us have any. Which was great at teaching us to be frugal except now I don’t know what to do when I have extra money because I never had the finances growing up to learn how to save and invest etc. Financial literacy is definitely something I learned only recently.

The last time my Eftpos card was declined was: Never. I’m terrified of it getting declined, my anxiety couldn’t handle it lol. I check my bank account almost daily so that I always know if I have enough for groceries and rent etc.

In five years, in financial terms, I see myself: Hopefully not struggling any more. It would be nice to own a bed frame lol, sleeping on a mattress on the floor is not cute.

I would love to have more money for: My health. I feel like it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy when you don’t have the resources to take care of yourself, so then I get sick, which costs money. And then I’m even deeper I’m the hole than before.

Describe your financial low: I had to use Afterpay to buy groceries. It cost more than it would have in person but I needed food and I couldn’t afford to buy it outright at the supermarket.

I give money away to: I donate to Rainbow Youth and women’s shelters when I have a spare $20.

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