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Pop CultureJune 6, 2017

Vote for your new favourite webseries to get made in TVNZ’s New Blood

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With voting for TVNZ’s New Blood webseries competition underway, panelist Alex Casey rounds up the top 10 finalists. 

You know how fancy overseas countries have a pilot season, where all the exciting brand new shows battle it out to get picked up by networks? New Zealand has finally put on its grown-up pants with TVNZ’s New Blood competition, searching for our next big local webseries by way of public vote. Hundreds of pilot entries were flung in from across the country, all hoping to secure that $100k to make their full series a reality.

I was lucky enough to be a judge for the competition and spent a whole weekend shrieking, laughing and cringing at the weird and wonderful worlds created by both amateurs and professionals alike. There were aliens, there was cask wine, there were too many ex-Shortland Street stars. After a rigorous vetting process, here are the final 10 entries for your consideration. Have a cruise through, pick your favourite, and cast your precious vote here.

Starship Kids

When you die, you don’t do anything. When you’re alive, you play.

A beautifully shot and achingly cute mini-documentary series, ‘Blood Sugar’ is the first in a series that will follow kids living with medical conditions and their lives in and out of Starship Children’s hospital. Looking at heavy stuff through a child’s eyes and heart-bursting narration, we run the gambit from getting blood tests to deciding if an octopus (starfish) is a boy or a girl.

Libros

Until boobs go out of fashion, people will be buying boobs in bulk

Evoking the same surreal tangents of Peep Show, Libros stars comedian Cori Gonzalez-Macuer as a graphic designer looking for a room. His search comes to an end when he finds a man in a dressing gown and a nerdy uni student who were all born on the same day under the shining constellation of Libra. But why are there pictures of Susan Sarandon everywhere?

The Woolston Complex

What is my life?

Starring Billy T winner David Correos, mockumentary The Woolston Complex follows yet another strange guy in a dressing gown as he negotiates life from his house bus in the strange, bougie Woolston Boutique Shopping Complex. Channelling Chris Lilley, Shay Horay plays multiple characters from an outrageous masseuse to a butcher with a heart (lip ring) of gold.

Oddly Even

She’s taken a vow of silence until the whole world becomes vegan

Juggling her motley crew of flatmates, paying off a mortgage, trying to find the perfect man AND start a successful smoothie bowl food truck, Olivia is living in a frazzled hell of her own creation. But what happens when her estranged sister of eight years shows up at her door? Oddly Even takes the cringe of Bridget Jones’ Diary, and chills it with a bit of family drama.

Shop Girls

Get in there and clean up your fucking turd

A workplace comedy good enough to give you the shits, Shop Girls goes behind the shiny veneer of retail and “hi darl” to bring you what really happens in the back room. Starring Grace Palmer, recently deceased Lucy from Shortland Street, and Lucinda Hare from Auckward Love, Shop Girls is like Broad City in a Miss Crabb dress.

Grandma Knows Best

“It’s like your birthday but you’re not one year closer to death – yet.”

A cask wine-fuelled talk show filmed in the lounge of an old folk’s home, Grandma Knows Best throws one guest under the searing interrogation of Ngaire Chambers, played by Samuel Christopher. In this pilot episode, Ngaire meets performer and writer Chris Parker to talk Spice Girls, eating disorders and fighting in the war.

The Fucket List

Liz, I’ve got it. I’m having a urethra moment.

Two millennials get turfed out by their parents and dreamcatcher-making boyfriends because neither of them can make human connections. Finding each other in a haze of best friend posters and whisky, they decide to share each other’s little black books in order to become the ultimate: Eskimo Inuit sisters. Very important Art Green cameo. 

Dick

Did you bring crystallized ginger to a potluck party? Nobody wants that shit.

Starring a myriad of TV stars including Josh Thomson, Aidee Walker and Nic Sampson, Dick follows the Paul-Jennings-for-adults scenario of an overdose of women’s multivitamins gone awry. When notorious dickhead Micky loses his own manhood overnight, his friends and families must pry out the truth over bowls of Twisties before his birthday potluck.

Cheeky First Dates

I love the way that you blame your farts on gluten

Perhaps one of New Zealand’s first ever spinoff webseries of a webseries, Cheeky First Dates is a prequel of sorts to The Adventures of Suzy Boon. Watch sad recent-singleton Cheeky37 stumble through the world of online dating, first clashing with a strange woman named Grape (Morgana O’Reilly) who has an affinity for Antonio Banderas and looks eerily like his ex-girlfriend…

The Sisterhood

Do you ever get sick of jumping around all the time?

Imagine if everytime you boned, you were transported to another time period? The Sisterhood follows a group of women who converge across different decades, all bound by one pesky affliction much more annoying than an STI. Amanda Billing plays Diana Striar, a romance novelist who draws inspiration from her sexy travels through time.


This content was brought to you by TVNZ New Blood. Click here to vote for your favourite webseries to win $100k 

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Pop CultureJune 4, 2017

The glory and horror of New Zealand celebs and their weird YouTube channels

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Alex Casey peers into the abyss of New Zealand celebrity YouTube channels, and rounds up five of the best.

There’s nothing more I love than cracking open the old jar of chocolate chips in the pantry and zoning out on YouTube to someone talking to a camera in their bedroom about their moderately entertaining lives. Is vlogging peak reality TV? Is it some kind of high-level meditation? Am I just an idiot? Whatever it is, the numbers suggest I’m not alone.

This week, online sensation Jimi Jackson premiered his own television show on Māori TV. With well over 800,000 Facebook fans, and just the one blackface scandal, the harnessing of Jimi’s internet reach by traditional mainstream media goes to show the ongoing value of online stardom. Jamie Curry has made a series in Antarctica that you can watch on TVNZ Ondemand. The “cash me outside” girl has a clothing line. Susan Boyle could probably run for office. If you go big online, the world is your oyster.

It’s this almighty potential of the vlog channel that’s luring in more and more New Zealand personalities to the dark side of the internet. If you’ve never encountered YouTube culture before, don’t worry – you can keep etching your calligraphy into a stone wall. I’ve watched almost all of it so you don’t have to. Here are the top five incredible New Zealand YouTube channels run by people who are already weirdly kind of famous already:

#1 Max Key

Steel yourselves, for this is something that has happened and will continue to happen. Max Key’s weekly vlogs follow his weird life of leisure: hooning around Parnell on a motorbike, raving in Dargaville and eating a pitiful amount of chicken nuggets. Each vlog is strewn with the aggressive call to arms: like, subscribe, comment, hashtag, and inevitably hit the dab. He’s also the master of clickbait, framing his often inane vlogs with some incredibly sensationalist headlines. I still can’t decide which title I like more out of ‘GIRL THROWS UP ALL OVER MY HOUSE’ or ‘WHY MY DAD STEPPED DOWN AS THE NZ PRIME MINISTER’.

#2 Jason Gunn

One of our most beloved television and radio personalities, Jase is harbouring a treasure trove of a YouTube channel that has to be seen to be believed. Nestled under the gaspingly good banner “a Kiwi Dad who just wants to make you laugh,” Jase does Lynchian vlogs from what looks like his own TV set in his garage – a much spiffier location than Max’s marbled, perpetually untidy ensuite bathroom. In one of his latest rant videos ‘I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS!’ Jase gets incensed by spam emails. He also implies that he can maintain an erection without receiving promotions for performance enhancers, managing to destroy my childhood faster than Thingee’s eye falling out ever could.

#3 Chrystal Chenery

Season one of The Bachelor NZ will be remembered for producing some of our most prime social media talent. Art and Matilda are jet-setting off on the daily to exotic locations and fancy events, runner-up Dani Robinson seems to have her life sponsored by Adidas, and Chrystal Chenery has a bloody fascinating YouTube account. Much more erratic in frequency than some of the other people mentioned in this list, Chrystal will occasionally film herself getting beautified at photoshoots and on holiday by way of selfie stick. But nothing comes close to her unedited rants filmed on what looks like a flip phone from 2002 such as ‘Chrystal Chenery changes the world (part one)’. To borrow a technique from Max Key, You Won’t Believe What Her Solution Is (it’s using a mooncup).

#4 Megan Annear and Guy Mansell

The Edge’s couple Megan and Guy produce a veritable buffet of content – from doing classic YouTuber ‘tags’ (assigned challenges that you tag other YouTubers to do), to trying on clothing hauls, to telling long-winded stories. Megan is also an advocate for body positivity, with her vlog ‘how to love yourself’ opening up a tough, frank conversation about self-esteem and body image. The value of that, especially considering that her audience has got to be mostly young women, cannot be understated. Plus, she has a vlog where she squeezes herself into various kinds of Spanx and it’s maybe the realest thing I’ve ever seen.

#5 David Correos

Now that you are entirely familiar with YouTube and all its banal brilliance, allow Billy T winner David Correos to flip it and reverse it. At times more torturous than a Saw marathon, Correos puts himself through the wringer by doing everything from eating challenges to fake infomercials. If you’ve seen his comedy, you’ll know what to expect. Whether it’s trying to smoke a pack of cigarettes under a minute, eating everything on the KFC menu or doing a ‘hobo’ haul video, Correos’ channel is a disturbing parody of everything bad that YouTube and influencer culture has become – the desperation, the excess, the terrible advice. Just make sure you hit like and subscribe.

This article originally stated that Guy Mansell still worked at ZM. The Spinoff apologises for this error. 


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