Every day in the lead-up to Christmas, open the door to reveal a Spinoff writer’s short, sizzling commentary on a weighty subject. Our arbitrary and strictly enforced word limit: 365. Today: Alex Casey on the only social media influencer worth following.
As we drag our heels towards the end of December, it’s the perfect time for snarling at ourselves in the mirror while reflecting on failures and foibles of the year. My kryptonite of 2018 was the glorious 24-hour TV channel you might know as The Instagram Story. An endless rotating schedule of influencers pouting into the void, I’ve often caught myself ignoring the people I love most the in world to watch 15-second clips of Simone Anderson doing F-45. I’m not OK (I promise).
My simpler hot take for your summer cyber detox would be: delete every account you follow on Instagram. But if you can’t go a day without the endless, mindless, joyless opening of PR packages – and I can’t – there’s only one influencer worth sticking with into the new year. Her name is Erin Simpson and she’s a TV host, death metal enthusiast and homewares savant. She’s also your one stop shop for jokes, Zac Franich asleep in the background and all the unboxing content you need to send yourself to sleep every night (just me? FINE).
Erin’s Instagram stories are also the surrealist reality TV this country needs right now. Sometimes they consist of several minutes of her and Zac inexplicably playing chess, other times they are belting out a Christmas classic while on a roadie to somewhere adventurous. Other times, it feels like straight up performance art featuring Zac rubbing lotion on Erin’s back in the name of #sponsored #Aveeno promotion. You’ll quickly find Erin is less about flat lay #collabs and more about crafting original 45-second sketches regarding chicken kebabs.
If you are looking to cull your Instagram, but also don’t want to feel completely out of the loop regarding the latest Tim Tam flavour, look to Erin. She’s seen every film, she’s sniffed every candle and she’s sampled every at-home meal kit available in our fair country. Combine her expertise with a manic energy and total disregard for the coiffed influencer aesthetic (you won’t see any Facetune or filters here) and you’re onto some winning content. Because she knows the truth they tried to so desperately tried to hide: The Erin Simpson Show never really ended at all.
Read the Spinoff Hot Take Advent Calendar in full here
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.