One of reality television’s most wholesome franchises comes to Aotearoa next month. Tara Ward performs a preliminary power ranking of the six pairs vying to become masters of the brick universe.  

Throw your Lego pieces to the wind and walk over them in bare feet, because Lego Masters NZ is nearly here. Beginning on Monday 9 May, the New Zealand version of the colourful reality competition will see local Lego enthusiasts compete to build the best designs. This morning, TVNZ announced the six teams preparing to battle it out in the brick pit of dreams.

Hosted by comedian Dai Henwood, Lego Masters NZ will challenge these teams to create Lego works of art that showcase their imagination and storytelling skills, and impress us with their technical talent and problem-solving expertise. Watching their every move will be Canadian brickmaster Robin Sather, a Lego Certified Professional who’ll set the challenges and decide which team will be named Aotearoa’s inaugural Lego Masters.

As you’d expect, Lego Masters NZ will have a strong New Zealand theme, with challenges including a Kiwiana island getaway, a “cricketing nation special” and the classic “cut in half” test. There will also be a power brick, a magical item that protects one team and increases their chances of getting to the grand final. Teams will use a brick pit containing a whopping 2.5 million pieces, which is nearly the same amount of Lego currently stuck down the back of my couch.

Lego Masters NZ is about critical thinking, creativity and originality. This ranking contains none of those things. We’ve peered through our Lego magnifying glass, perused TVNZ’s PR blurbs and pored over the official photos, and ranked these intrepid experts before they’ve even put one mechanical foot inside the brick pit. It means nothing, unless it’s correct, in which case it means more than a 30% off Lego sale. Let’s get bricking.

THE TEAMS

6. Emily and Sarah 

Christchurch friends Emily and Sarah are this season’s underdogs simply because they hadn’t combined their Lego creative skills before coming on the show. This could be either a terrible error in judgement or a stroke of artistic genius. Did Lennon and McCartney make music together before they started The Beatles? Had Michelangelo climbed a scaffold before he painted the Sistine Chapel? Emily and Sarah will smash this, just hopefully not to pieces.

5. Andrew and Georgie

This father-and-daughter team hail from opposite ends of the South Island, but distance is no obstacle to their love of Lego. Andrew’s been a fan since he was a kid and Georgie enjoys watching YouTube Lego videos, so get ready for some classic inter-generational banter and a dose of fun family tension, mostly over whose turn it is to tidy up the 2.5 million bricks at the end of each episode.

4. Amy and Adam

Amy and Adam should be ranked in first place solely based on Adam’s magnificent flamingo suit, but sadly this is not Suit Masters NZ. This husband and wife team will probably play a quiet game, hiding in the middle of the pack until they’re ready to strike like a big pink bird on one leg. Bravo.

3. Emily and Liam

These former flatmates might display an air of relaxed charm in their official photo, but look closely and you’ll see they’re as competitive as Lego Friend Stephanie when Lego Friend Scarlett scored the first goal at Lego soccer practice. Emily and Liam have displayed their builds at brick expos and are inspired by popular culture, so fingers crossed we’ll be treated to the first Married at First Sight Australia commitment ceremony Lego extravaganza.

2. Glenn and Jake

Glenn and Jake became friends at a Lego building show, strangers brought together like a pair of 4×4 brick magnets. Despite living two hours apart, the mates prepared for Lego Masters NZ by meeting regularly to “develop their ideas” and work on their “concepts for challenges”. That’s fighting talk, so expect plenty of technical excellence and some shocking smack talk about where they’ll stick their jumper plates and snot bricks. Love to see it.

1. Jono and Dan

Just like ideas men Glenn and Jake, Jono and Dan met at a brick convention and bonded over their passion for tiny pieces of plastic. These brick fanatics have the experience and knowledge to win, but also, they seem like nice guys. When asked what they’d do if their competitor’s brick build collapsed in the last minutes of the grand final, Jono said he’d push their own build off the table too. This is a shitshow of a strategy. Prepare for absolute scenes.

Lego Masters NZ screens on Monday and Tuesday nights from May 9, and will be available to stream on TVNZ OnDemand.