A poem by Wellington writer Laura Vincent.
ACTIVITIES
You know when you’re not strong enough
to articulate your feelings because all of your strength
is being used for one thing and that one thing is
ACTIVITIES
endless ACTIVITIES
when that person invites you to paper-mâché a to-scale volcano
or to ride a bicycle across the frozen moors
or to play Equable ‘The Game of Math’ and even though you had plans already
you say YES without hesitation
YES I’ll help you make your own soap
YES I’ll wander round Bunnings finding materials to make decorations for the party
you haven’t invited me to yet
YES I’ll walk with you for two miles in the middle of the night
to fly a kite in the dark
YES I’ll dance in a forest to your friend’s jam band
as he gurns behind a vape cloud
YES I’ll watch the final Hobbit movie but in slow motion
because it really brings out Tolkien’s intention that way
YES I’ll climb a hill
In Elif Batuman’s book The Idiot Selin goes all the way to Hungary to teach English to try to appease the withholding Ivan
In the TV show Fleabag the main character keeps having talks in the dark about foxes with the Hot Priest
In the film Carol Therese goes to lunch and then to get a Christmas tree and then to Carol’s stately home
so you see everyone’s doing ACTIVITIES
and you have to agree to them all because you can’t let it end
and if you don’t say YES you could miss the thing
that finally gets them to tenderly hold your face
and look you in the eyes and say
I’m so glad you’re here let’s spend the rest of our time on this Earth
making each other’s lives amazing everything’s so hard
but it feels easier when you’re around let’s do this together YES
Or at least
Would you like to pash
here on this cliff-face that we’ve just scaled
Or at least
I noticed that you’re not talking about how sunburnt you’re getting
let’s go inside
But they never do so you just keep forlornly agreeing
to more ACTIVITIES and I can’t tell you
to simply express your feelings because
I’m not that stupid and I’m not that clever
instead I suggest
keep saying YES to ACTIVITIES
When they ask you to hike through your city’s most forbidding swamps
say YES then stride ahead and playfully push them into the mud
just playfully PUSH them and when they suggest a visit to that paperclip exhibition
say YES but first let’s quickly shop for a QUALITY WINTER COAT
then make them watch you try on FIFTEEN coats
and then you don’t even buy ANY
and when they want you to watch them practise the violin for forty minutes
and then get a smoothie without asking you a single question
about your life
tell them YES you’d love to drop everything for that
and then grab the violin out of their hands
that will never touch you
just GRAB that violin and start playing Zadok the Priest by Handel
and now you’re in charge
and you’ve jolted yourself out of your accommodating submersion
and you have BECOME THE ACTIVITY
and then throw their violin on the floor and run just RUN for miles
by yourself
