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BooksSeptember 14, 2017

Book of the Week: the best novel of 2017 is by a millennial blessed with ‘terrifying talent’

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Louisa Kasza celebrates the arrival of a “terrifying talent” – Annaleese Jochems, the young author of a novel about an Auckland princess who falls in lust with a gorgeous woman fitness instructor.

Baby, the debut novel from the rudely 23-year-old Annaleese Jochems, signals the arrival of a terrifying talent. It exists in the world of modern Auckland, with its cults of fitness instructors and its inhabitants’ way of seeing the rest of the country as a kind of scenic backdrop to the city.

Cynthia, the warped lens through which we see this already warped world, is a character made fascinating through our microscopic access to her inner life. Superficially a composite of Claudia Hoskins of The Bachelor and every other sheltered-yet-vulnerable Auckland princess, Cynthia is 21 and still very much a kid, and that’s what makes her dangerous. Petite, dyed blonde and pretty (after reinventing herself in unspecified ways from the ugly duckling she had previously felt herself to be), Cynthia is underestimated by older characters in the novel at absolutely everyone’s peril.

She is skilfully drawn by Jochems to be a charming, amusing oddball who speaks her mind with an honesty that is variously endearing and shocking. A lot of Baby’s endless black humour and tension is created through our gradual realisation of the severity of the disconnect between Cynthia’s view of herself and the world versus that of everyone around her.

RUDELY 23-YEAR-OLD ANNALEESE JOCHEMS. PHOTO: SUPPLIED

Cynthia has cobbled together a sense of self from her consumption of reality television shows and the celebrity ‘news’ she constantly consumes via smartphone. Neglected by a moustachioed father who apparently “doesn’t have any contacts in the media industry” (“any more”, is the implication), and never having experienced the love and affection many of us are lucky enough to call normal, Cynthia is consumed by emptiness and has no point of reference for what reciprocal romantic love might look like. All she has is loneliness and lust, which she laser-focuses on Anahera, a gorgeous fitness instructor who has no idea of what’s about to hit her.

Cynthia at first lures Anahera in using the only method she knows – money. When the marriage that appears to be Anahera’s financial foundation collapses, she is drawn to and irrevocably trapped by Cynthia’s offer. In contrast to our complete access to Cynthia’s thoughts and motivations at all times, Anahera’s mind is purposefully only sketched in and we can only view her through the haze of Cynthia’s obsession.

While at first Anahera believes herself to be in control, an adult taking light financial advantage of a besotted playgirl whom she can later ditch, events conspire to bind Cynthia and Anahera ever closer. They take money and other resources that aren’t strictly theirs and leg it to Paihia where they buy Baby, a charmingly run-down boat that will serve as the claustrophobic setting for acts two and three of the novel.

While a great deal of the action takes place in the Bay of Islands, those beautiful and historical surrounds seem to have about as much bearing on proceedings here as the Waitangi Treaty Grounds did on that infamous The Bachelor NZ cocktail party – incidentally the main point of reference our lovely narrator has for Paihia. The outdoor world is of little consequence to Cynthia; only the nooks and crannies of Baby and the landscape of her own mind and body (and Anahera’s body) interest her.

Anahera seems to have some family ties to Paihia. But because Cynthia isn’t interested in anything about Anahera that isn’t also about herself, she doesn’t ask, so we don’t find out. It’s in these kinds of deliberate elisions that we are allowed glimpses at the masterly plotting and characterisation that goes on below the shiny, narcissistically reflective surface of Baby. The novel’s central revelation is that nothing can stand in your way when you have the will, that anything is possible when you love, dream, spend or hate hard enough – until, of course, it isn’t.

The novel’s dreamlike, solipsistic quality at times veers into the surreal, and downright nonsensical. But like Anahera, you’ll have a better time in Cynthia’s strange world if you don’t worry too much about it. Baby is a funny, taut, relentless fever-dream of a novel. Buy it and read it now, and you can brag about it one day the way people who bought and read Emily Perkins’ Not Her Real Name in 1996 do today. Oh, and designer Keely O’Shannessy’s cover, featuring a squished jam-on-white-bread sandwich on a millennial-pink ground, will look good on the shelf, too. In Cynthia, and in Baby, Jochems has created a millennial-pink monster. She should be very proud.


Baby by Annaleese Jochem (Victoria University Press, $30) is available at Unity Books.

Keep going!
21st February 1935:  Two New Zealand girls leading a climbing party across the ice at the famous Tasman Glacier, Mount Cook, New Zealand.  (Photo by PNA Rota/Getty Images)
21st February 1935: Two New Zealand girls leading a climbing party across the ice at the famous Tasman Glacier, Mount Cook, New Zealand. (Photo by PNA Rota/Getty Images)

BooksSeptember 12, 2017

We cross live to the campaign trail (in 1935)

21st February 1935:  Two New Zealand girls leading a climbing party across the ice at the famous Tasman Glacier, Mount Cook, New Zealand.  (Photo by PNA Rota/Getty Images)
21st February 1935: Two New Zealand girls leading a climbing party across the ice at the famous Tasman Glacier, Mount Cook, New Zealand. (Photo by PNA Rota/Getty Images)

The Spinoff Review of Books salutes the unbylined New Zealand Herald correspondent who filed this fantastically arse-licking report from the election campaign trail on November 7, 1935.

During the present election campaign probably no man connected with politics has been busier than the Minister of Finance, Mr Coates, who, after a week of campaigning, is now in the thick of the fight for his own electorate, Kaipara.

Since his departure from Auckland last week Mr Coates has addressed as many as five meetings a day. Driving his own car, with Mrs Coates invariably with him, he has covered an average of 100 miles a day over rough country roads, meeting the northern settlers in village halls and other queerly assorted places. He has stood in the open air on the fringes of a forestry plantation addressing bronzed forestry workers and their women folk; he has spoken to farm hands in the shearing sheds of a large sheep station; and at small meetings he has often sat back in an armchair explaining the country’s difficulties in almost conversational style.

A photo taken at the Tasman Glacier. The only connection it has to the story is that it was taken in 1935. (Photo by PNA Rota/Getty Images)

However, the campaigning is only one of Mr Coates’s activities. He still has the departmental responsibilities associated with his portfolios of finance, customs, and transport, and every mail from Wellington brings large envelopes with numberless documents and letters requiring official consideration and approval. In every country town, too, telegrams descend on him in showers. Both Mr Coates and his staff work from early morning until late at night to ensure that there is no hold-up in departmental activities.

As Mr Coates is often on the road before 10 o’clock in the mornings, and as questions inevitably prolong his night meetings until after 11 o’clock, some idea can be obtained of the immense volume of work that must be handled in a short time. The manner in which Mr Coates gets through his daily programmes is a tribute to his amazing energy and industry.

Reform Party MP Gordon Coates only narrowly held onto his seat; Michael Savage led Labour to a historic victory. Coates later joined the National Party, and died in his office at parliament in 1943.

The report is courtesy of Papers Past, the great online repository of New Zealand journalism from the 19th and 20th century.

An earlier version of this story incorrectly named Coates as Ralph Coates, who was actually a flying winger for Burnley and Spurs in the 1970s. He won an England cap and had a haircut like Bobby Charlton.


The Spinoff Review of Books is brought to you by Unity Books.