An intrepid band of Spinoff employees tries what may or may not be (OK, most likely not) the world’s hottest chocolate, and find it pretty freakin’ hot.

You know how it is: the first week back at work after the summer break and you’re feeling a little… lost. What is it we do now? Content creation? Right, got it.

What we needed was something to jolt us back into being functioning members of capitalist society. What we needed was Instant Regret Supremely Hot Chilli Chocolate.

Staff writer Jihee Junn had introduced the office to the product’s existence: her friend had eaten some and it had given her an actual fever. “She said she had the tiniest bit and she got seriously hot and now she’s freezing cold,” said Jihee, who you’ll note was conspicuously absent from the tasting. “What a ride.”

What a ride indeed. Luckily, Mighty Ape had it in stock. Twenty-four hours and $16-plus-$3.80-for-delivery out of the food section budget later, it was in our hot (well, more lukewarm at that stage) little hands.

Instant Regret Supremely Hot Chilli Chocolate is a British product, a 100g block of milk chocolate made with 6.4-million-Scoville capsaicin (the stuff in chillies that makes them hot). For comparison, Pepper X, generally considered the world’s hottest chilli, rates 3.4 million on the Scoville scale.

Firebox, the company that makes it, reckons the Instant Regret is the world’s hottest chocolate. This 9-million-Scoville rival would suggest that claim is FAKE NEWS. But whatever, it’s still pretty hot.

Four brave souls offered to try some on video. Proving once and for all that men are the weaker sex, food editor Alice Neville, writers Alex Casey and Madeleine Chapman and designer and podcast producer Tina Tiller made up the fearless foursome.

The back of the packet instructed us to not put the chocolate in direct contact with eyes or sensitive organs. “If pain persists, bathe entire body in fresh goat’s milk and cry,” it said. “Then seek medical advice.”

With neither fresh goat’s milk nor anyone capable of giving medical advice close at hand, we opted for a bottle, rather than bath, of milk (cow’s, not goat’s) and a tub of Tip-Top Boysenberry Ripple ice cream, and tucked in. 

How was it? Watch the video above to find out…