Three men pose in front of a blue dotted background; the man in the center smiles and points at a smartphone displaying an app, while the two men on either side wear suits and have serious expressions.
Scott Robertson, Christopher Luxon and Chris Penk.

Newsabout 11 hours ago

The winners and losers from the first week back after the summer shutdown

Senior writer
Three men pose in front of a blue dotted background; the man in the center smiles and points at a smartphone displaying an app, while the two men on either side wear suits and have serious expressions.
Scott Robertson, Christopher Luxon and Chris Penk.

Chris Penk and Christopher Luxon’s Spotify playlist are struggling through the opening of 2026, while horny kākāpo are winning.

  • It was a good week for Irish sports journalist Rúaidhrí O’Connor, who beat every New Zealand reporter to the scoop that All Blacks Coach Scott Robertson was about to be fired. Stay tuned next week for The Spinoff’s exclusive story: Corruption allegations inside Kilkenny County Council. 
  • It was a bad week for Chris Penk, who found the worst possible way to express his affection for the coastal Wellington town of Castlepoint.
Come on bro.
  • It was a good week for fans of razor-based puns.
Journalists showing off their razor-sharp wit.
  • It was a bad week for Manage My Health, which is dealing with the fallout from a major data breach that exposed 125,000 people’s private information. Now, a dark network of Estonian hackers know all about your weird foot rash.
  • It was a good week for Neighbourly, which suffered a major data breach which made the news, thereby reminding people that Neighbourly still exists.
  • It was a bad week for Auckland Transport chief executive Dean Kimpton, who continues to be bombarded with texts from Wayne Brown complaining about road cones. His latest avoidant tactic, “new fone who dis” was a flop. 
So close, Dean, so close.
  • It was a good week for business confidence, which surged to a 12-year high. It was also reported this week that liquidations have reached a 15-year-high. Business owners must be feeling confident watching all their competition disappear. 
  • It was a bad week for Swedish-born Reserve Bank governor Anna Breman, who was admonished by foreign minister Winston Peters for weighing in on the beef between Donald Trump and Jerome Powell. On the other hand, a public spat with Winston Peters is a major milestone on the Swede’s journey to becoming a true New Zealander. 
  • It was a good week for kākāpo, who are ramping up for a massive fuck season due to a bumper crop of rimu berries.
  • It was a bad week for Christopher Luxon’s Spotify account. Despite a massive push on TikTok and coverage across mainstream media, the Luxon 2026 Summer Playlist is sitting at just 790 saves – less than my playlist of Studylink Hold Music. 
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