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Pop CultureJanuary 16, 2018

Three’s stealth attack on TVNZ

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The shock resignation of Mike Hosking has led to Three playing some very aggressive media chess.

“You’re looking very bronzed,” Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern told Duncan Garner on Monday morning. “A bronzed whaler,” he replied, assumedly not a confession of his summer recreational activities. Thereafter, they got into the serious business of Trump and shitholes and national politics. It’s mid-January, and the AM Show is already off and running.

This shouldn’t be noteworthy, but it is: New Zealand’s critical news programmes (the bulletins aside), have typically taken most of this month off. It’s been part of a tacit agreement amongst all the major networks to start the year slow, ultimately dating back to the misty past when only men were in paid employment and everyone lived in a tent beside a pristine waterway until January 30 or so. 

That era just got blitzed by Three, which has not only returned The AM Show, but last night brought back The Project too, with Ardern and all her star power showing up there as well. Three is clearly betting that it can tempt some longtime TVNZ1 watchers to try something new – and keep them.

The strategy would be laudable anytime, if only to spare us this crash news diet – but right now it’s also a very adroit media chess move. It so panicked TVNZ that they rushed confirmation of the long-rumoured news that Hilary Barry was moving to Seven Sharp, to be replaced on Breakfast by Hayley Holt. How do we know it was rushed? This kind of news is always on the front page of the paper when carefully planned – and this morning’s Herald teased with ‘fish n chips with a twist’.

This chaotic little flurry has come about because TVNZ, the giant of our free-to-air media, has quite suddenly found itself looking a little shaky – even vulnerable.

A year ago this would have seemed utterly absurd: TVNZ was cruising, while Three was in disarray. Weldon’s reign of error had seen the channel’s legacy stars scattered to other networks, while its biggest-ever recruit in Paul Henry had just resigned on a whim.

Paul Henry at a Mediaworks event in 2016. Photo: Duncan Greive

Yet here we are in 2018 and the wind has shifted quite radically. Now it’s TVNZ scrambling to replace a boorish male star, after Mike Hosking abruptly quit at the end of last year, and facing a reshuffle of key talent less than 18 months after the last.

These opportunities are rare. Between 2006 and 2012 the two networks had a total of two hosts fronting 7pm current affairs shows. While things have moved more lately, Three is right to consider this moment the network’s best chance in years to take a chunk out of the mighty state-owned broadcaster’s still-vast and uncommonly stable audience.

It’s not necessarily a disaster. Sources familiar with TVNZ’s thinking suggest that Hosking’s departure, while a shock, was not altogether unwelcome. While he remains unquestionably the biggest star in New Zealand media, his curmudgeonly style was starting to feel dated, and grating on attempts at renewal like the new Breakfast, the What Next experiment and Facebook smash Re:.

Hilary and her beer fridge. Photo: Joel Thomas

Hosking’s replacement Hilary Barry is just five years younger than him, but stylistically is world’s apart thanks to her relatability and self-mocking humour. If the rumours that Jeremy Wells will sit alongside her are true the pair will, paradoxically, be both a strong foe for The Project and a major risk for TVNZ, thanks to being a big bet on youth – who’ve been deeply ambivalent TV viewers lately. Barry has transformed Breakfast but its ratings have been solid rather than exceptional. Wells is spectacularly talented but was last seen on TVNZ doing weird things late at night on Eating Media Lunch and has, if anything, only gotten weirder since.

Even if the combination gels, there are now at least three clear weeks during which The Project is competing with Extreme Cake Makers for the 7pm current affairs eyeball. It’s an uncommonly long stretch to leave such a critical time slot essentially unguarded, and while TVNZ could hardly have predicted the double resignation which prompted it, the organisation will be very conscious of what is at stake here.

Seven Sharp is not the only challenge, either. Barry’s Breakfast replacement Hayley Holt was superb on The Crowd Goes Wild, but tentative on Back Benches. A three hour a day, five day a week live production – albeit a richly resourced one – will take some getting used to. The AM Show now boasts, in Garner, Richardson and Gillies, significantly more star power.

Hayley Holt on The Crowd Goes Wild

At a corporate level, other issues abound. TVNZ’s profit has shrunk to a negligible $1.4m (impacted by a programming write-down), and its long-term business looks decidedly shaky. As worrying is the new Labour-led government’s decision to favour RNZ for its new commercial-free budget. While TVNZ might privately be relieved not to have to recreate TVNZ7, they are being forced to supply resources to the new channel. While explicitly not for sale, it’s clearly not a favourite of the new government.

The sense that the tonal wind is changing in media more broadly is strong, and moving from a conservative lean to a liberal one. Hosking was not the only divisive figure to resign towards the end of last year – Leighton Smith (albeit with an epic notice period) and Tony Veitch also announced their exits. Each had a long career and heavy baggage, and their departures offer the chance at renewal for big media brands which are always fighting the ageing process. But they also carry the danger that their replacements will fail to fire, or prompt audiences to try other stations.

We won’t know whether it is a pivotal moment or just another reshuffle for another year at least. But Three’s accelerated return of its key current affairs properties suggests that it senses a rare weakness at TVNZ – one it is determined to exploit.

Declaration of interest: The Spinoff TV will air on Three later in 2018.


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Pop CultureJanuary 15, 2018

The bleakest moments from the return of The AM Show

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Alex Casey checks in with the gang from The AM Show for their first show of the year. 

Awful. Hopeless. Horrible. These are just some of the words Duncan Garner used to describe his sleep last night, the eve before the return of The AM Show online, on radio, and on telly for 2018. Falling down the stairs at 5.59 this morning to watch the morning show – one which has a week’s head start on TVNZ’s revamped Breakfast – I can tell you that absolutely nothing has changed for the new year and I don’t really know why I did it.

Mfw realising huge mistake

There were plenty of newsy nuggets to chew on in the early morn: Jacinda Ardern stopped by to talk about medical marijuana, eradicating child poverty and the offensiveness of Donald Trump. Sporting a glorious new-year-new-me beard, James Shaw answered some hard questions about why the census will fail to recognise LGBTQIA+ communities this year. Regular audience member Colin Mathura-Jeffree sent in some fan mail praising Duncan Garner on his holiday glow.

But wait – there was so, so, so much more.

There was a woman who married a 300-year-old pirate ghost, a recap of Duncan Garner’s holiday haircut, and Mark Richardson desperately inquiring as to whether or not you can make a robot dog do a robot poo on command. Here are some of the other stellar quotes I mined from three hours of rich content, in descending order of bleakness.

“He’s crude, rude and racist” – Amanda Gillies

Jacinda Ardern condemned Trump for labelling African nations as ‘shithole’ countries, but avoided saying he was racist. Not Amanda Gillies though, who defiantly described him as “crude, rude, and racist” earlier in the show.

Hmm but stop right there little news lady, what does the cricket man think?

“I wouldn’t say racist,” said Mark Richardson. “These are places you wouldn’t go for a holiday. Maybe he just thinks Norway is a good country?” Let this record show, it only took 19 minutes for Mark Richardson to defend Donald Trump.

“What is a baguette? How would you describe it?” – Duncan Garner

These sort of questions first thing in the morning really make you think, make you feel, make you scared, make you reflect, make you reassess and, most importantly of all, make you grow.

“Never do a curved pool” – Mark Richardson

Useful and relatable advice to kick off your 2018 the right way.

“In one word… it was idyllic” – Duncan Garner

Now we are getting to the real guts of The AM Show: the real elevator pitch isn’t a chatty news morning show at all, but the concurrent festive buddy movie where Duncan Garner WEIRDLY SPENT CHRISTMAS DAY AT MARK RICHARDSON’S HOUSE AND LATER DESCRIBED IT AS IDYLLIC?!?!

Duncan and Mark’s Chrimbo festivities got its own graphics.

There was indoor-outdoor flow, there were two kinds of astroturf, there was a jet ski on display. “You might get an invite this year Amanda,” Mark warned. “I can tell you now that I will turn that down,” she replied.

“I told you there would be more sharks” – Mark Richardson, shark oracle

The Earth is on fire, the ocean is like a toasty warm bath and Mark Richardson is deathly worried about the rise of shark sightings. “Not only great whites but tigers and bull sharks.” Quick, evacuate to the curved pool!

“Can we just talk about the fact that you are not wearing pants?” – Jacqueline Nairn 

Wendy from Shortland Street is back from the dead and using her second chance at life to weigh in on Pineapple Lumps vs Toffee Pops as our national delicacy on The AM Show panel. She also stepped up to defend Amanda Gillies – who was roasted for wearing the same top she wore last year (excuse me?) – by making Duncan Garner show off his shorts and $1.50 jandals.

Wendy is back baby

“You look like a giant penis” – Child of Duncan Garner

Some constructive feedback Duncan Garner received upon returning home with a closely cropped haircut. Rude? He’ll show you rude.

“The ears, they never stop growing” – Mark Richardson

In an urgent conversation about the apparent shrinkage of Cadbury Creme Eggs, the team went on a grim tangent about the ravaging passage of time. Are the eggs smaller or are we just bigger? Are they sweeter now or are our lives just duller?

More confronting content

One thing is for sure, our ears and noses will continue to grow until we all eventually die, which is exactly what I love thinking about at the start of every day.  

*repeated toilet flush sound effect* – Anon

To avoid saying “shithole” on air, social media guru Aziz took to using a toilet flush sound. Very soothing.

“Our lives are just over so quick, aren’t they?” – Duncan Garner

Aren’t they just, DG. Aren’t they just.


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