On flights across New Zealand these days, it feels like every passenger for themselves.
I was desperate for just one person to catch my eye. After the flight from Wellington landed in Christchurch and dozens of passengers immediately jumped out of their seats as if they were sitting on thumbtacks, it became abundantly clear that the tradition of disembarking using the Sacred Order of the Airplane Rows had been replaced with something much more sinister. With their beady eyes trained on the exit, the wild pack of Thumbtack Butts barged down the aisle past rows of people without even as much as a glance, let alone a guilty Graham Henry grin.
Quickly reaching the ferocity of the wildebeest stampede in The Lion King, they forced us rule followers to either set up new lives for ourselves in row 15 DEF, or bravely stick a foot out and risk being trampled to death by a ballistic Rodd and Gunn overnight bag. I chose the patriotic option, which was of course to make eyes with like-minded individuals, tut imperceptibly quietly, and wait until all the scary angry people had left.
We used to live in a society. Back in February 2020, just nine days before the first case of Covid-19 was detected on our shores, The Spinoff published this sublimely-timed etiquette guide to air travel. Reading it back now, I cannot believe how many flagrant breaches I have encountered in recent years. Along with the rise in scary aisle rushing, random hot food being brought onboard, armrest hogging, extreme manspreading, and who can forget the charming man who did his Spanish DuoLingo lesson without headphones (no es bueno).
Some of the transgressions have been more bodily in nature. On a long haul flight from Dubai to Auckland last year, I sat next to someone who would not stop digging in their own ears and inspecting, then chewing, their fingernails. A colleague reports of another passenger turning on the overhead light before kicking their shoes off, peeling off their socks, and having a good pick at their toenails. And as much as I’d like to complain about the person who ate too much fake vegan meat in Wellington (classic) and spewed all the way home, sadly that person was me.
Look to the headlines over the last few years and you’ll see even more extreme examples of passengers behaving badly. In December 2023, Air NZ revealed that unruly passenger incidents had risen to nearly 200 a month, including verbal and physical abuse and refusal to follow instructions. Forget reclining their seats too early, local passengers are out here opening emergency exits, drunkenly dancing in the aisles, and excessively kissing. They are also erupting into worship song, the music of Taylor Swift, or are simply being Ed Sheeran.
Perhaps the state of air travel in general is to blame. With the price of jet fuel soaring since the start of the Iran war, ticket prices have increased and at least 1100 Air NZ flights have been cancelled, with Jetstar also cutting 12% of services in May alone. Even if you’ve managed to hold onto your ticket, there’s always the chance of wild weather, tech glitches and idiots with laser beams ruining the fun. Add to all of that a nightmarishly strict approach to carry-on baggage, and no wonder everyone is acting like they’ve just survived The Hunger Games.
Or maybe the demise of plane etiquette is simply in line with the general decay of, well, everything. We might still be thanking the bus driver more often than not, but there’s other recent evidence to suggest that looking out for each other might be becoming a thing of the past. An uplifting social cohesion report from the Helen Clark Foundation released last month found that our “social fabric is fraying on almost every measure” with only 51% of New Zealanders reporting a strong sense of community (down from 53% in 2024).
I don’t know how to fix our disintegrating social bonds, but it can’t hurt to start small – perhaps even on your next flight. To reiterate Spinoff staffer Catherine McGregor’s guidelines written all those years ago: Recline at night. Store overhead luggage lengthways. Armrests belong to the middle seat, as a treat. Clean socks? Yes. Bare feet? No. Don’t sleep on your seatmate unless you know them or you are this cute dozy toddler. And when it comes to disembarking, respect the queue and wait your turn – we’re all headed in the same direction.
