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The Satisfyer Pro 2
The Satisfyer Pro 2

SocietyJuly 11, 2019

The sex toy everyone is talking about

The Satisfyer Pro 2
The Satisfyer Pro 2

Nowadays, sex toys aren’t all dildos and vibrators. Emily Writes tries out the cutting edge in sex toy technology.

I know exactly when I first read about the Satisfyer Pro 2. Still shaking, my friend had taken to Instagram to spread the gospel, writing that she’d had the best orgasm of her life with it.

I hadn’t bought or used a sex toy for many, many years – well before kids. But this one intrigued me. I’d never heard of a “clit sucker” before. The only sex toys I knew of were the usual dildo or vibrator. And “the best orgasm of my life” sounded like something I’d be quite into.

I looked it up and since it was on sale, I ordered it straight away. It arrived quickly and it took a while to find some time to be able to use it, what with children always up all night and in my bed. I finally got a chance to try it out on a weekend away. And my life changed forever.

I had an orgasm in seconds. Literally seconds. Figuring it was a fluke, I tried again the next day in the shower. NOT A FLUKE. I almost broke my damn leg falling over. I felt like I was in someone else’s body. It was so incredible I immediately messaged all my girlfriends and told them about it.

I wrote a short review of the Satisfyer Pro 2 on my website. It sold out and I had angry women asking where else to get it. That’s when I heard there were other versions. Like the terribly named Womanizer and the even more horribly named Tracy’s Dog (who the fuck is giving out these names? They’re awful). Then I found out there were fan groups for each one – cult followings and attachments you could try. I was in awe.

Soon, it felt like everyone I knew was obsessed. Someone would comment they didn’t orgasm straight away and everyone would rush in with tips (you need to use a lot of lube. Like lots). A few hours later an update: it worked!

I shared the gospel in a Facebook group and the responses came thick and fast (no pun intended). The most common one was: “I finally got a chance to try this out. It is literally (and I actually mean literally, not figuratively) the first sex toy I have ever been able to orgasm with”. My personal favourite was the woman who called in sick the next day to recover.

It felt like we were all sex educator Betty Dodson transplanted to 2019. Our Hitachi Magic Wand was now the Satisfyer or the Womanizer – rechargeable, waterproof and with a two-year warranty.

The Womanzier Classic (a terrible name)

In case you didn’t know, the Magic Wand sold out all over the world after being featured on Sex and the City. But long before that it had a secret cult following thanks to the Betty Dodson Technique of placing a towel over your clitoris and using it to bring yourself to orgasm. I wonder what she thinks of the Satisfyer which needs no towel and really no expertise at all.

Clitorial suction devices are, in my opinion, the future. At a time when technology seems so evil, it’s wondrous that someone has done something good with technology. To whoever has spent their days trying to make a device mimic oral sex (and mimic it so well) I just feel like they should get a Nobel peace prize.

As one happy camper told me: “It was really interesting that the vibe did all the work. Usually when I cum, I have to be thinking of a scenario (the one I’m in or a fantasy). But with the Satisfyer Pro 2, I could have been doing calculus and I still would have had an excellent orgasm.”

According to studies from the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, the majority of women need additional clitoral stimulation to reach climax. Only 65% of heterosexual women with vulvas have consistent orgasms during sex with a cisgender male partner. This number increases to 86% for lesbian women and 66% for bisexual women.

I have no idea how the Satisfyer or Womanizer works. Apparently it uses air technology and “pulsing” and “sonic waves”. They call it suction based but I can’t really describe how it feels – it doesn’t feel like that. The best part is probably that they’re not tongues.

The last well known oral sex stimulator was literally a row of tongues on a wheel. Who on Earth would think we would want that? It’s a nightmare.

And it’s probably for that reason they’re getting press. I’m sure you’ve seen headlines around: “The sex toy so good it made a woman pass out” or “Woman’s hilarious review of sex toy”.

When life is busy it’s understandable that a toy that gets you off in seconds is popular. “I can literally take 30 seconds out of my busy day and have some me time” was a common comment in my admittedly small survey.

New Zealand’s biggest sex toy sex shop, The Adult Toy MegaStore, stocks both the Satisfyer and the Womanizer. A marketing executive for the retailer, Elwin, says people just can’t get enough.

“Oh yeah, people really are obsessed,” he says. “The only bad review I’ve read about it was because it took the fun out of masturbating because it made her come too fast.”

“Of the two, the Satisfyer comes out on top in sales. It’s certainly one of our most popular brands, taking out several spots in our top 10 highest selling toys. The Satisfyer Pro 2 regularly claims the top spot as the best-selling toy week after week.”

Elwin says they’ve never seen anything like it.

“I don’t think the adult market has ever seen people go as wild as they have for the Satisfyer Pro 2. It’s almost the perfect storm: a great new product introduced to the market at a time when people are comfortable enough to talk about and share their views and reviews on loving masturbation and sex toys. We trust our friends and if your bestie tells you a Satisfyer will blow your mind, you might just give it a try.”

Jess Wilde of adult brand Lovehoney says they’re flying off shelves there too.

“Suction toys like the Womanizer and Satisfyer are definitely one of our most popular, best-reviewed style of sex toy, and although classic toy designs like rabbit vibrators, dildos and butt plugs will always be incredibly popular, suction toys are ‘keeping up with the big boys’ (so to speak), which is astonishing considering the technology is relatively new.”

So what is the technology? Jess explains: “It’s a well-known fact that most people with a vulva require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, but not everyone can get there using their hands or a vibrator. Suction toys create a completely new type of ‘indirect’ stimulation which surrounds the clitoris with pulsating pleasure. It’s a perfect solution for any clitoris-owning people who find direct clit stimulation is too intense, or that vibrations have a tendency to numb them out before they reach climax.”

Which toy comes out on top between the Satisfyer or Womanizer depends on who you speak to. I couldn’t afford both and after buying the Satisfyer, I don’t need anything else. Some swear by one over the other. My unscientific survey found a higher rate of orgasms for the Satisfyer than the Womanizer. But more people had bought the Satisfyer and I can’t do maths. For the name alone, I won’t buy the Womanizer (yes, I’m that petty).

Some did raise the “wee” phenomenon that both have caused due to positioning the toy on your urethra rather than your clitoris. This causes some people to wee. Some also describe the orgasm as painful and “as if it is forced out”. Others say there’s far too much stimulation (some advise you to wear underwear and use it over top).

Still, it seems worth a try when the very next comment from someone is: “Craziest most amazing orgasms of my life. Telling you about it makes me want to buy another one.”

Long live clit tech!

Keep going!
The authors speaking at the Women’s Bookshop’s 30th birthday literary concert.
The authors speaking at the Women’s Bookshop’s 30th birthday literary concert.

SocietyJuly 11, 2019

Happy birthday to the Women’s Bookshop!

The authors speaking at the Women’s Bookshop’s 30th birthday literary concert.
The authors speaking at the Women’s Bookshop’s 30th birthday literary concert.

The Women’s Bookshop has been on Ponsonby Road longer than almost any other shop. This year, it turns 30. We talked to owner Carole Beu about the bookshop and its upcoming birthday party.

Since 1999, the Women’s Bookshop been in its same, central spot in Ponsonby. Around it, restaurants, art studios and boutiques rise and fall. The shop’s first premises were opened by Carole Beu on Dominion Road 30 years ago this year. Beu is well-known across the country as a champion of both women and books. She was one of the original minds behind the Auckland Writers’ Festival, and served on its board for eighteen years. She is synonymous with the Women’s Bookshop.

Their story began in 1989, when Feminist magazine Broadsheet needed to move out of a shop and into an office, but didn’t want to lose the space. Beu was shoulder-tapped to take over the lease. “The editor at the time was a friend of mine, Pat Rosier,” Beu tells me. “Pat came to me, put her arm up my back, and said, ‘you’ve got to stop teaching and open a book shop!’”.

Beu was working as an English and drama teacher at a secondary school, and had no experience running a business. “People said I was brave,” she says. “I wasn’t brave at all, I was completely naive.” She didn’t know that a huge percentage of small businesses failed in the first three years.

The Women’s Bookshop, though, has always been more than a small business. “What was created — not with any plan at all — was something much bigger than a bookshop,” she smiles. When the shop moved from Dominion Road to Ponsonby 20 years ago, the customers all pitched in to move. “They turned up with vans and trailers and trucks and cars and they moved the whole shop,” explains Beu. She was as moved as the shop. “I really understood how women had a sense of ownership of the shop.”

New Zealand literary icon Stephanie Johnson says Beu’s work has been vital to women’s writing. “I can’t overstate how important Carole and the Women’s Bookshop have been to me as a reader and a writer for thirty years,” she says. “Carole has become a friend and one I value highly, just as I value her judgement on books and writing.”She has always championed and supported the work of women writers, particularly those of us that are New Zealanders. The bookshop is a hub for Auckland writers of all persuasions – Carole tirelessly hosts book launches and literary events there. It truly is one of my favourite places on earth.”

The community that’s built up around the shop isn’t limited to women, or to stereotypes. They sell books by men, too, and have plenty of male customers. The shop has also been a stalwart supporter of pride festivals, selling tickets to LGBTQ+ events for as long as Hero/Pride has been going on.

“We try and be inclusive,” says Beu of the bookshop’s community. “We have transgender books as well. That’s a difficult issue at the moment.” She’s referring to the discrimination trans people are experiencing from almost every side of the political spectrum, from Trump to TERFs. Beu’s shop is a safe space. “Younger people don’t want to be pigeon-holed as anything. They want to be whatever they choose, and I think that’s great,” she smiles, and thinks back. “You can be what you want to be, which is so different from when I was young.” Coming back to the shop’s feminist origins, Beu sees gender and sexual fluidity as a natural progression of the cause. “It’s all part of, I think, getting rid of a patriarchal society. It’s part of saying we want to deconstruct this and construct something that’s better for everyone, and is inclusive.”

The indomitable Carole Beu (Photo: Auckland Writer’s Festival).

Feminism, riding one of its waves, has come back in fashion. The shop had a large feminist literature section in its Dominion Road site, but that shrunk when they moved. “In the last three or four years, it’s become huge again,” Beu says. “There’s so much wonderful publishing being done, and reclaiming lost women. All these books that talk about women in history and women who’ve invented things and women scientists and all these women who’ve been written out of history.” She grins at me. “We really are on trend at the moment.”

“It takes courage to do what Carole did,” says celebrated author Dame Fiona Kidman. “Setting up a shop that celebrates women’s writing, as she did, and turned into a giant success.” Kidman knows there’s more to Beu than the bookshop. “More than that, she has created spaces where books can be celebrated by many people, of whatever gender, and whether they buy books or not.”

Kidman, along with many other New Zealand authors, looks to Beu as a friend more than a colleague. “I regard Carole as an influential, tireless friend to the bookselling industry, to local writers, to women’s lives, and to me personally. Nothing ever seems too much trouble to her and her absolute belief and commitment to everything she undertakes is an inspiration.”

Celebrating Beu and the Women’s Bookshop is the 30th Birthday Literary Concert. Held at the ASB Waterfront Theatre on the 5th of August and introduced by the legendary Beu herself, this is a concert no book-lover should miss.

Eleven New Zealand women writers will be doing live readings of their work. Allotted only ten minutes each, the writers will choose their own pieces. The star-studded writer’s concert will include: the prolific and talented Kidman, reading one of her poems; actor Fiona Samuel, performing an extract from Carol Ann Duffy’s The World’s Wife; and Poet Laureate Dr Selina Tusitala Marsh, who’s guaranteed to blow audiences away.

Other writers performing their own works are Catherine Chidgey, Fiona Farrell, Patricia Grace, Paula Green, Charlotte Grimshaw, Mandy Hager, Stephanie Johnson, and Charlotte Randall.

Beu’s experience with drama shines through in events like this. “I love putting on author events,” she says. She does it often.

Paula Green, renowned poet and children’s author, is excited to celebrate the bookshop’s 30th birthday. “That Carole Beu has supported New Zealand writers of all genres in her shop and at her fabulous Ladies’ LiteraTea events has meant a lot,” she says. “The book tips and conversations, the groups of authors she showcases annually, have inspired me.” Beu and the Women’s Bookshop have inspired Green so much that it’s now in print: “she is one of four women to whom I have dedicated my new book: Wild Honey: Reading NZ Women’s Poetry,” confirms Green.

The concert will stay true to the shop’s founding principle: it will promote works by women, for women, and about women. The need for a space like this still exists. “I still think that what men say and write is taken more seriously,” says Beu. “There’s an underlying cultural bias. So we are still relevant, and we still promote women writers.”

She’s thrilled to see the women she’s worked with on the theatre stage. They represent everything she admires and everything she has fought for. “The fact that Patricia Grace is in her 80s — it’s a great honour to me that she’s coming,” says Beu. “She’s been writing for more than 30 years. I was teaching her short stories before I had this book shop.”

There was a period of time, before the recent resurgence in women’s history, when Beu thought of changing the bookshop’s name. “Over the years, I’ve thought, oh, it’s the people’s bookshop,” she says. “There was a period where I thought the women’s bookshop was an anachronistic name.” She could never change it, though. “We have a whole community. The tide’s turned again, and to be a women’s bookshop is respectable, well-regarded, and, as I said, on-trend.”

You can see Beu’s hard work pay off at the 30th Birthday Concert on August 5th, or just by swinging by 105 Ponsonby Road.