It’s Death Week on The Spinoff, so we’re switching up our usual Cost of Being format. Instead of exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, we’re looking at the costs involved with death and dying. Here are two examples of what it can cost to farewell a loved one – both on the pricier side.

A non-religious, higher-end Pākehā funeral

How are you connected to the person you farewelled? She was my mother.

Who organised the funeral and sorted all the related admin? Family – my dad, sisters and me.

Total cost: $23,480

How were the costs covered? My dad covered it all, I guess out of his and my mum’s savings. It wasn’t an extravagant or lavish funeral but we wanted it to be nice, and to have lots of people who loved her there. At least a couple of hundred came.

Had the person put any money aside for their death-related costs? No, I don’t think so. 

Breakdown of costs:

Funeral home/director (often invoiced as “professional services”): $4,780 – the local funeral home.

Transfer of deceased, mortuary fees/preparation of body, medical fees, death certificate etc: $1,460.50

Newspaper/online death notice/obituary: $611 (the cost really gets up there if you go beyond the bare minimum detail!)

Venue: $4,800 – a venue usually used for weddings and other events near our family home in Auckland. We are Pākehā and not religious so there was no church, marae or other obvious cultural or community location for us to use, we could afford it and we think our mum would’ve liked it. Catering (tea/coffee/juice and scones/sandwiches etc) was included in the fee.

Hearse: $440 – owned and organised by the funeral director.

Celebrant/clergy: $650 – a celebrant who was recommended to us.

Flowers: $880 – a lot, but they looked lovely and those coffin arrangements are huuuuge.

Service sheets/funeral booklets: Designed by a friend who wouldn’t accept payment.

AV services (livestreaming, photo tributes etc) $3,013.50. Pricey, but it was nice that friends and family overseas could watch the funeral.

Cremation costs: $945.

Casket/urn: $1,940 for the casket, organised and supplied by the funeral director. I think it was cheaper because it was a cremation-specific one. $436 for a woven flax box for the ashes.

Burial plot, headstone and associated fees: N/A – are yet to decide if we’re getting one.

Wake/post-funeral function: $4,571 – drinks and food at a local bar for anyone who wanted to come.

A large-scale farewell for a Sāmoan church minister

How are you connected to the person you farewelled? He was my grandfather.

Ethnicity: Sāmoan.

Location: Auckland.

Total cost: $80,000-$100,000.

Who organised the funeral and sorted all the related admin? His children, my aunt and uncle.

How were the costs covered? My grandfather had saved money up ($136,000) so it was all covered – he was highly regarded in the church and there were a lot of gifts (monetary and material) for those that showed alofa and came to farewell him. There was money received also from those who came to farewell him. 

Had the person put any money aside for their death-related costs? Yes, because of his church position, there were many dignitaries to share gifts with and receive. 

Breakdown of costs:

Funeral home/director (often invoiced as “professional services”): Over $10,000.

Transfer of deceased, mortuary fees/preparation of body, medical fees, death certificate etc: Included in above.

Casket/urn: Unsure, think it was included in above.

Burial plot, headstone and associated fees (if applicable): The plot had been prepaid when his wife passed away. (A burial plot in Auckland is $2,200 to $8,400, burial fees are in the range of $1,300-$2,000, and digging fees are $1,200 to $2,000. Headstones range from $1,500-$4,000 or higher.)

Hearse: Part of funeral director’s professional services. 

Death notice: N/A

Venue: Church – the donation in return for all gifts received was $20,000.

Catering: $5,000+. We had to gift food to those who travelled from afar to farewell him during his time of rest at the family home before he was buried, as well as feeding everyone who visited before the funeral. 

Celebrant/clergy: Money for pastors (estimated $5,000) and families of church ($5,000).

Flowers: Mostly gifted, spent approx. $1,000.

Service sheets/funeral booklets: Donated.

AV services (livestreaming, photo tributes etc): No livestreaming, all AV services provided at the church pre and post burial. 

Wake/post-funeral function: Part of the venue fees. 

Any other major costs? Gifting… hosting of family members from overseas… lots and lots of exchanges of fine mats, food and money. My grandfather had saved a lot for that. His funeral in its entirety had cost approximately $80,000-$100,000 from the time of death to the last family member who travelled back home after the wake/post-funeral function. My grandfather had saved a lot of money and fine mats from his attendance and support at other funerals and ceremonies during his lifetime so this was reciprocation for that. I don’t know how much was received from those who farewelled him or whether it balanced out.