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Bees in a question mark on a blue backdrop
Bees. (Image: Archi Banal)

SocietyOctober 27, 2023

Why bees are swarming in Auckland

Bees in a question mark on a blue backdrop
Bees. (Image: Archi Banal)

It’s not a sign of the impending apocalypse – just a reminder that spring has finally arrived.

Kim Kneijber sounds slightly flustered when she picks up the phone. The Auckland beekeeper and member of the local beekeeping club has two swarms of honey bees on the back of her truck and she’s just getting ready to head out and relocate them to a “lovely home in Northcote”. 

This is the busiest time of the year for “swarm collectors” – beekeepers who, often voluntarily, help to rehome swarms of displaced bees that have decided to take up residence in areas they’re less than welcome. 

Reports have been popping up on social media in recent weeks showing swarms in areas you may not expect them. In one video shared to Twitter, a cloud of bees looms ominously at an intersection on Auckland’s Ponsonby Road. On Facebook, people have been heading to their local community groups to ask for advice on how to rehome clusters of bees that have turned up in their backyards. “Wondered what the loud humming was at first then looked up and realised the air was thick with bees,” said one local in search of a beekeeper in Mount Albert.

Kneijber gets near daily call outs to rehome bee swarms at this time of year. One, she says, had decided to nest up in the hubcap of someone’s car. Another had picked out a letterbox. Many choose trees in backyards. “When they first swarm, they’re only landing temporarily. Then they will fly another one or two kilometres to a more permanent home.” 

There’s a Whatsapp group with beekeepers from across the country, allowing reports of new swarms to be shared far and wide. “Beekeepers love to rescue bees, we like to see them homed correctly and then we can manage them. We can look after them. Beekeepers are more than keen to collect a swarm of bees,” she says. 

But while a swarm of bees on a busy Auckland street may seem like a sign that the end is nigh, Kneijber says it’s actually “pretty normal” for this time of year. In fact, it’s just a sign that spring has arrived.

“We get our swarms because our bees have been hibernating quite nicely over winter and all of a sudden temperatures get a bit warmer, flowers start appearing and that all stimulates bees to increase in size,” she says. 

While Kneijber attests that it’s not unusual to see plumes of bees buzzing about in residential areas, she admits this year is a “little bit crazy”. That’s because of the wetter than usual start to the year, delaying the typical arrival of spring weather. “Finally we’ve got a pretty decent spring,” she says. “The flowers that are out at the moment everywhere are pretty cool to see, that brings in loads of food for our bees.”

The cause of a bee swarm is basically due to a lack of available real estate. When a hive gets too overpopulated, the bees decide it’s time to move on and look for a new home. About half of the colony goes with the old queen, and 50% stay at the original hive where a new queen has taken up rule. 

This can result in massive swarms racing about as they try to find somewhere new to live, which is how you end up with footage like the video taken on Ponsonby Road. Kneijber says her first thought was for the bee’s safety when she saw that video. “Poor bees,” she exclaims. “I really hope they don’t get squashed flying along the road.” 

It’s most important that the queen doesn’t get squashed. If she suddenly disappears, the bees will be left confused about what they should be doing, explains Kneijber. “Bees often use landmarks and roads as a guideline… as to where they’re going to go,” she says, which is why they often pop up in residential areas. “Scout bees go out and find the new home that the swarm is going to go and live in.”

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It’s at this point that beekeepers are typically called in to assist – and Kneijber says the bees are usually more than happy to be offered some friendly help. “There was a swarm [recently] that landed on a branch in a tree. I went along with a cardboard box, ‘cause that’s all I had on me, and I shook the bees into that cardboard box – simple as that,” she says. 

“The most important thing to go into that box is the queen and then the other bees will follow. Then I close it up, take it away and take it home and set up an empty beehive and then I shake the bees out in front of the hive and they all walk in.”

And while one bee can be too many for someone frightened of getting stung, Kneijber says that you really don’t need to worry about a swarm – which sounds exactly like what a beekeeper would tell you. In reality, she says, a swarm will be all filled up with honey and far too dopey to bother stinging you. “It’s the least likely time they’re going to sting you,” she claims. “The bees have their little honey tummies full to take the honey to a new home.” 

Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

SocietyOctober 26, 2023

Help Me Hera: My friend’s boyfriend is my nemesis for no good reason

Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

I find him so irritating, but I also think we’re oddly similar. What’s going on here?

Help Me Hera is brought to you by Bumble, the women-first dating app that empowers women to challenge gendered expectations and make the first move.

Want Hera’s help? Email your problem to helpme@thespinoff.co.nz

Dear Hera,

I’ve recently had an epiphany that I am Bizarro Beau. This probably means nothing to you, because I don’t think you know Beau. What’s important is that this is a disturbing discovery for me and my loved ones.

“Maybe you’re onto something, and I’m sorry about that” – my roommate

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore” – my girlfriend

For context, Beau is the boyfriend of a friend who I hold dearly in my heart, though we are not really that close. Beau is by no means a bad person, but is the culmination of things I despise as a frustrated queer woman. He has a quasi Australian British accent, which I don’t have, and I find this annoying. He writes better than me. At my birthday dinner he kept offering to help with the cooking and cleanup, which felt like an overstep? I have observed him being very observant of spaces. I think we might have the same eye-contact issue, but I wouldn’t know for certain because I don’t meet his eye. Purely based on my very subjective opinion, he doesn’t deserve his girlfriend, and (objectively) neither do I.

I have been very vocal about the fact that I think I could probably beat him up in a fist-to-fist fight. Maybe this speaks to some violent tendencies I have?

This isn’t even a joke for me: I have thought about this a lot and rather deeply, maybe too much so. We have bizarre similarities, but somehow he always ends up on top. What’s up with that???

Best,

Bizarro Beau

a line of dice with blue dots

Dear Bizarro Beau,

Despite your attempts to articulate the source of your antipathy towards this guy, I have read your letter several times, and the reasons remain opaque. I also find it funny that the things which seem to annoy you about him double as examples of the ways in which you are similar. But it’s hard to understand what’s grinding your gears. Your complaints, as follows, are:

  • His accent
  • His literary talent 
  • His desire to help with the dishes 
  • His loving relationship with your friend 
  • His inability to make eye contact 

I have to admit I have no idea what “being observant of spaces” means. Is he suffering from counterstrike syndrome, and has an eye on every exit? Does he have a performatively considerate manner that you find irritating? You say he’s everything you despise as a frustrated queer woman, but I have absolutely no idea which specific facets of his personality you’re referring to. Is it because he makes a song and dance about helping with the dishes, as a form of gender reparations? If that’s the worst you can say about him, it’s not that bad. I think you have to agree that any kind of nervous, social performativity that results in your birthday forks being clean is a million times better than the alternative. 

I imagine he’s trying so hard because he can sense your general dislike of him, and wants to win you over and impress his girlfriend. Or maybe he’s just a dinner party show off. But the more he tries to win you over, the more annoyed you become, sitting there in the corner thinking, “I bet you’d like to wash my dishes, you servile worm. Why don’t you blow out my candles while you’re at it, you worthless, cringing birthday interloper?”

I have to admit I love this letter. Your problem doesn’t make logical sense, but it does make emotional sense. Sometimes we know our dislike of someone is entirely unjustified, and has more to do with our own insecurities than any inherent fallings on our rival’s behalf. But that doesn’t make us hate them any less. Which is why your furious refusal to accept his mundane acts of generosity is so funny. The best complaints about other people are often totally incomprehensible to anyone but the complainer, and result in bland and innocuous-sounding accusations, like: “Look at ME, I’m lactose intolerant and enjoy the work of Brazilian writer Clarice Lispector.” Very funny. But also, unfortunately, insane.

Still, this is an infinitely preferable and much more enjoyable way to hate people than inventing moral reasons to be outraged by them, as a kind of ego defence. You sound like you know how irrational your dislike of this guy is, and have turned your horrible feelings into a Talented Mr Ripley parlour game, as a way of making the situation more palatable. (Your problem actually reminds me a lot of My Friend Rod, one of the funniest short stories by Eammon Mara.)

I can’t tell you exactly what’s going on here. Sometimes people annoy us because they remind us of the most irritating parts of ourselves or qualities we’re ashamed of. Sometimes we hate people because we envy what they have, ie literary talent. Often it’s the people we’re most similar to – physically, socially, professionally, psychologically – that we dislike the most. If you’re a ripped blonde kayaking instructor called Kyle who loves The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and you meet another ripped blonde kayaking instructor called Kyle who loves The Red Hot Chili Peppers, you’re either going to despise each other, or become lifelong friends. 

Do you feel like your territory or sense of individuality is being encroached on? Do you get the feeling that Beau dislikes you, and your hatred of him is a kind of self defence? You say he’s a better writer than you, so there’s obviously some envy going on there. But sometimes envy is just thwarted admiration.

Your letter is funny, because you complain about Beau, but I can’t help thinking you don’t actually dislike him. The premise of your letter is spiteful, but weirdly, contains no spite. It’s obsessive and curious and definitely has a weird psychic intensity to it. But you speak about Beau with what I would describe as a kind of enraged, self-deprecating fondness. 

I think if you truly disliked Beau, you wouldn’t continually compare yourself to him. You’ve basically named him as your spiritual doppelganger, which is a sign of respect, not contempt. It also sounds like you can’t stop airing this conspiracy theory. So much so, that your girlfriend is sick of hearing about it. When we truly hate someone, we only invoke comparison as a way of setting ourselves apart from them. Not by emphasising how eerily similar we are. 

I think you are kind of fascinated by this guy. And perhaps a little envious. And for some reason, the envy has made your feelings come out backwards, as hostility rather than camaraderie. But I think there’s something about the idea of you and Beau as mirrors, which delights and intrigues you. I can’t help thinking there is a part of you which not only wants to defeat Beau in hand to hand combat, but also wants to buy matching lifejackets, take him fishing, drink too many beers, tell him he’s your evil twin and you want to be best man at his wedding. Or maybe you just can’t stand the guy. I could be wrong. 

Want Hera’s help? Email your problem to helpme@thespinoff.co.nzRead the previous Help Me Heras here.