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It’s a historical issue
It’s a historical issue

SportsAugust 8, 2024

Our Olympians deserve so much more than fugly uniforms

It’s a historical issue
It’s a historical issue

Why are we making our winning athletes wear an ill-fitting jacket during the biggest moment of their lives? Mad Chapman rages against our team uniforms.

Imagine this: you’re a world-class athlete who has trained your whole life for the chance to compete for Olympic glory. You don’t make millions from your chosen profession, in fact you barely make thousands, but you’ve committed to the chase of that one dream moment on the podium. On the day, everything comes together and you perform exactly as you hoped – probably even better.

Now you’re on the podium receiving a medal, shaking hands with a random ex-Olympian and smiling through tears for the professional photographers. That photo will be on your wall, in the paper and probably in your funeral booklet. This is the moment of your life. You’ll look back on this moment regularly, the scene seared into your brain. 

And what are you wearing? A sheer white tracksuit jacket, cut unfathomably slim, randomly short but not cropped, with no allowance for breasts. Black shapeless pants. You look like a PE teacher. 

You deserve more.

You deserve to look comfortable and cool in the biggest moment of your life. 

New Zealand athletes standing alongside US athletes and Great Britain athletes (Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)

I know we all like to pretend we’re no-frills and just-get-on-with-it but somehow we have taken that pride in our no-fuss approach to mean we have to consistently wear the fugliest uniforms at the Olympics. 

To be clear, I am not talking about the competition uniforms. Each sport has different requirements for uniforms and as far as I’m concerned, if it works for the athlete then who cares what the pattern is. But for the other items, particularly the podium uniforms and the opening ceremony outfits, that’s when we should be putting our best foot forward. Right now, we look like the HR department of the Olympics.

If you think I’m being sad to the designer who dreamed up the team uniforms, don’t worry, there wasn’t one. At least not a public one. Our Olympics kit has no named designer attached, and in my experience as a wearer of many basic team uniforms it looks as though the items were picked direct from the manufacturer’s bulk order catalogue. That manufacturer is Peak, a Chinese sportswear manufacturer. Peak is the official apparel partner of the New Zealand Olympic Committee (as well as Basketball New Zealand). 

There is nothing inherently wrong with having Peak as an apparel partner, and I’m sure they cut a good deal to get the relationship in the first place, but why aren’t we being even a tiny bit ambitious? 

Here is what our uniforms look like. Again, all I see is a school-issued PE uniform.

New Zealand’s Finn Butcher alongside GB and Germany boxy jackets (Photo by Daniel Kopatsch/Getty Images)

Here is what Belgium’s uniform looks like, also manufactured by Peak. Evidently someone in the Belgian Olympic committee went “hmmm these options are a bit mud but maybe we can make them look a bit nicer with a single thought about design”. 

The theme for the rest of the world this year has been a strong embrace of the cropped bomber jacket, tapered trackpants and thick-soled sneakers. Not us though! Italy also bucked the trend by going for the controversially casual boxy hoodie for its podium outfit and honestly I love it. There was a comfortable vision and they delivered on it.

I genuinely don’t understand why our uniforms are so bad every single time. Here’s 2008.

This is a boxing day barbecue (Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty)

And here’s 2016. 

This was potentially Peak PE department. We still wear the school blazers

It makes me think that in all the planning of selections and travel and media, the Olympics team forgets entirely about the uniforms and then at the last minute just sends Peak our name and a silver fern and calls it a day. (I’m sure there is more to it but sadly this is the impression I got.)

No more, I say. We have four years until the Los Angeles Olympics. That’s enough time to consciously uncouple from Peak (sorry Peak but we must, ironically, aim higher). It’s past time we embraced the local talent we have to create an Olympics kit worthy of our athletes.

For the sports element, the clear choice is Canterbury of New Zealand. Want to look no-frills? Get some stubbies into the Olympics village. CCC has been a staple of quality sportswear for decades, it’s time to get them back so our athletes aren’t at risk of hulking out of their little thin jackets every time they fist pump.

But the podium outfits, opening ceremony kits and village wear require some collaboration. Just last year, CCC collaborated with Auckland streetwear label Checks Downtown and pretty much made an Olympics kit without anyone asking. Imagine these items but in a combination of black, white and red (there’s no rule that we have to stick with the arbitrary and boring black and white so yes let’s consider denim too). Comfortable, cool, and crucially, appealing to a standard consumer base. 

NZOC doesn’t sell the current Olympic fits because who would buy them? Pairing with local designers may cost more, but being able to sell a full line of Olympics merch? That’s business, baby. I’m no patriot but I would buy some limited edition Olympics jorts and I would pay good money for them too.

It doesn’t have to be CCC and Checks though. A quick survey in the office uncovered any number of excellent local options like:

The struggle will be to convince local designers and business owners that the Olympics kit is an honour and a privilege and an economic opportunity. I believe all of that to be true, even if it hasn’t been a reality yet. 

In 2028, Los Angeles will be filled with beautiful athletes wearing beautiful clothes. I can only hope our athletes arrive in fits worthy of the occasion.

Keep going!
athletes in their national uniforms dive into the seine which is a muddy greeish brown colour and doens't look particularly appealing. there's a poo emoji in the corner
Despite high e.coli levels, the Olympic triathlon went ahead. A few days later, New Zealand silver medallist Hayden Wilde was sick.

SportsAugust 8, 2024

Is the Seine filthier than an Auckland beach after rain?

athletes in their national uniforms dive into the seine which is a muddy greeish brown colour and doens't look particularly appealing. there's a poo emoji in the corner
Despite high e.coli levels, the Olympic triathlon went ahead. A few days later, New Zealand silver medallist Hayden Wilde was sick.

The dubious water quality of the Paris river where Olympic triathlon events were held is no secret. But New Zealand swim spots are notoriously prone to faecal contamination too. So which is worse?

Hayden Wilde, a New Zealand triathlete who won silver in the men’s individual event at the Olympics in Paris last week, fell sick with E. coli after his race. Symptoms, which include diarrhoea and stomach cramps, are unpleasant, particularly if you’re about to compete in a mixed relay at the world’s biggest sports contest, as Wilde was on Monday. His source of exposure isn’t hard to guess: swimming 1.5 kilometres as fast as you can in the khaki-coloured Seine, surrounded by the thrashing limbs of other athletes, is basically a guarantee that you’ll get water in your mouth.

The day after the race last week, Wilde felt rough. “I ran for an hour and there were a couple of loo stops within that hour,” he told One News. “Then went to the pool, I was pretty depleted, I was real tired. I was lucky I was able to eat really well. That night I was feeling 80% better.” He improved enough to appear in the mixed relay on Monday, although he ended up crashing his bike, and the New Zealand team came 14th. 

Concerns around the water quality in the Seine were well publicised in the lead-up to the Games, and athletes have been well aware of the risk. Last week US triathlete Seth Rider said he was building up his E. coli tolerance by not watching his hands after using the bathroom. Spoiler alert: experts were quick to point out that this does not work. Instead, one of the best ways to avoid getting E. coli is to simply not swallow lots of water filled with E. coli. Wilde, meanwhile, told Newshub before the Olympics he was more worried about a Netflix movie that portrayed a shark in the Seine than E. coli, but turns out confidence doesn’t make you immune to wily bacteria. 

a beach and the sea with bloue sky
Part of the Point Chev coast in central Auckland, a popular swimming spot that is also frequently polluted (Photo: Shanti Mathias)

After practices being cancelled and both the men’s and women’s triathlons being delayed due to high levels of E. coli, on July 31, the day both events were finally held, the concentration level was just under 1,000 E. coli per 100ml, falling within World Triathlon’s guidelines, although only just. However, a more comprehensive count recommended by water quality experts Fluidion, which takes into account clumps of faecal matter as well as small free floating particles, registered over the limit. The enterococcus level, the other bacteria monitored by standard water quality monitoring for human health, had just dipped beneath 250. 

The water contamination levels World Triathlon’s guidelines allow are many more times higher than what is considered acceptable by water monitoring standards in New Zealand. Environmental Health Intelligence New Zealand says that a safe E. coli level is less than 260 per 100ml, and less than 140 enterococci per 100ml. At levels slightly higher than this, water is still most likely safe but should be avoided by vulnerable people, while beyond 550 E. coli and 280 enterococci per 100ml puts the water into the “unsafe” category. Other organisations, including the US Environmental Protection Agency, set a limit of 126 E. coli units per 100ml of water and say that higher levels aren’t suitable for recreational use.

According to World Triathlon’s rules, decisions about whether an event should go ahead should be made based on WHO guidance, weather forecasts and sanitary inspection. (This includes noticing how the water smells, and whether there are any patches of garbage which might have attracted rats.)

While unable to comment specifically on World Triathlon’s rules, Martin Neale, technical lead for Safeswim, an initiative that aims to reduce public health risks at swimming sites in Auckland and Northland, told The Spinoff “the indicators and thresholds that we use in Aotearoa are based on scientific research that was undertaken here.” The levels are based on epidemiological studies conducted in New Zealand in the 1990s and early 2000s.

a screenshot showing a map of Auckland with black marks on most of the beaches map of the Auckland region with
The Safeswim website in March 2022, after heavy rain, with do not swim warnings on many Auckland beaches  (Image: Screenshot)

In the last decade, as awareness of water quality issues in New Zealand has spread, it’s become second nature for many people to check water quality – whether on Can I swim here? or Safeswim for Auckland and Northland.

In cities, the main problem with water quality is overflow from ageing sewage pipes, which discharge extra water when it rains. In Auckland, a $1bn massive sewage tunnel called the Central Interceptor will be completed in 2026, and one outcome of the project will be less contamination on the city’s beaches. Outside of New Zealand’s cities, the main cause of poor water quality is agricultural run-off, from animal waste and fertilisers. 

So how does the Seine compare to a New Zealand beach after heavy rain? While the acceptable limits are different, instances of heavy pollution are the same. In June, following rain, the amount of enterococci in Owhiro Bay in Wellington reached 1,800 per 100ml. Te Auaunga/Oakley Creek, which travels through central Auckland and has a long-term “do not swim” alert on Safeswim, has had a median of 800 E. coli per 100ml for the last five years.

Land Air Water Aotearoa, a website that displays water quality monitoring from councils across New Zealand, will mark a location as red if it has 540 E. coli or 280 enterococci per 100ml, a standard that 12 sites in Auckland are currently surpassing, including Cox’s Bay near Ponsonby and the lagoons in Piha. Cox’s Bay and Piha South Lagoon have long-term do not swim notices in place.

On Safeswim, an Auckland swimming spot gets a red flag if enterococci levels suggest there’s more than a 2% chance of getting sick from swimming there, while a more serious black flag is triggered by direct faecal contamination from wastewater overflow, usually after heavy rain. St Mary’s Bay in Auckland, for example, once surpassed 5500 enterococci per 100ml. It’s harder to get up-to-date statistics from other parts of the country, however, as most councils don’t monitor water quality in winter. But out of 50 water monitoring sites in Canterbury, last year all but three failed to meet E. coli standards

a clear blue pool with an underwater view and athletes on the surve with their limbs outstretched and ripples echoeing out from their bodies.
Pan Zhanle on his way to a gold medal – in a non-polluted pool at the Paris Olympics (Photo: Adam Pretty/Getty Images)

Contaminated water is bad for people, especially because it limits the use of rivers and the sea for important social and cultural activities like swimming and gathering kai. It’s also terrible for the animals like insects and fish, which don’t have the choice to leave the water when it’s polluted.  

This problem isn’t unique to New Zealand, of course; at the Olympics, the water quality of the Seine has been a big issue. Anne Hidalgo, the mayor of Paris, went for a swim in the Seine in the middle of July to show that a decade of efforts to clean up the iconic waterway in the French capital had worked. Those efforts, totalling more than 1.4 billion Euros, included building an enormous underground “cathedral” to contain stormwater, increasing the city’s capacity to absorb rainfall, just as the Central Interceptor hopes to do for Auckland. The water quality in the Seine will likely continue to improve, meaning that in the future, without the frenzy of the Olympics, people in Paris will hopefully be able to swim in the central city river. 

The Olympics organisers blamed climate change for the unpredictable rainy weather causing the high pollution levels. Despite the delays, the men’s and women’s triathlon went ahead, as did the mixed relay on Monday – even if Belgium pulled out because one of their athletes was too sick to compete. Meanwhile, Seth Rider, the American who had stopped washing his hands, was able to compete for the US. Their team came second. 

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