spinofflive
IMG20240327123325.png

WellingtonMarch 28, 2024

Nicola Willis and the present I forgot to buy

IMG20240327123325.png

Finance minister Nicola Willis delivers her first budget statement, and unwittingly helps Joel MacManus save his relationship.

Nicola Willis strode into the Beehive Theatrette. Around me, on the green foldout seats, were the country’s top business and political journalists. They were all here to see her announce the Budget Policy Statement 2024, which outlines the government’s broad goals for Budget 2024 and how they hope to achieve them. 

The big questions were about how Willis could afford the tax cuts she had promised in the election campaign, even though the operating allowance is much lower than expected and economists think the government can’t afford it. 

But just as Willis was about to begin her press conference, my phone buzzed. A text appeared on screen: “Did you remember the present for my dad?” 

Shit. It was my partner, planning our Easter trip to her parents’ house. I was in trouble. But then, I looked up at the strong and stable finance minister in front of me, gesturing strongly and stably to her PowerPoint slides. I thought to myself, WWNWD (what would Nicola Willis do)?

Willis answered a battering of difficult questions from the press. Her words filled me with the calm, assured confidence I needed to wriggle my way out of this mess.

“I can absolutely confirm that I have fulfilled my commitment to buy the present that I promised I would deliver,” I typed back. 

“What did you end up getting for him?” she asked, trying to trip me up with sneaky, gotcha questions. I won’t fall for that. 

“I can say with 100% confidence that I have purchased a present for your dad. And I can assure you that when he opens that present, it will be meaningful and targeted to him.” 

“You said a few months ago you were going to get him a bottle of 18-year-old scotch. Did you do that?”

“I will not be breaking the promises I made to buy a present for your dad.”

‘Hutt Valley, Kāpiti, down to the south coast. Our Wellington coverage is powered by members.’
Joel MacManus
— Wellington editor

“So you got him a bottle of scotch?”

“I am very conscious of the expectations around this present. It is my guiding principle through this process.”

“Mum thinks he doesn’t need more scotch. Are you sure scotch is a good idea?”

“The most reasonable thing we can do to deliver for your dad is to get him the present he expects and needs. It is the most effective relief we can give him.”

“How much did you spend on the present?”

“The present is part of a medium term course of fiscal consolidation.”

“Why can’t you give me an actual number?”

“I will be held fully accountable for how much I spent on the present, which I will release to you once I deliver the present.”

“Last time I checked, there wasn’t much money in our joint account. We can’t afford an 18-year-old scotch.”

“I utterly reject that. I took a prudent and responsible approach to buying the present, with targeted, effective spending within our means.”

“How did you afford the scotch, then? 

“Through a mixture of savings, reprioritisations, and new income sources.”

“What are those new income sources?”

“I can’t say that today.”

“What are the savings and reprioritisations?”

“I can’t say that today.”

“How much money do we have?”

“I can’t say that today.”

Bullet dodged. Thank you, Nicola Willis. Does anyone know where I can buy an 18-year-old scotch for 23 dollars and 31 cents? 

Keep going!
Image design: Tina Tiller
Image design: Tina Tiller

BusinessMarch 27, 2024

Cuba Street businesses face an existential threat – wider footpaths

Image design: Tina Tiller
Image design: Tina Tiller

When tourists come to Wellington, Cuba Street is always at the top of their bucket list, because of its famous car parking facilities. But now the council wants to take that away. 

Business owners on Cuba Street, New Zealand’s oldest and most successful pedestrianised shopping area, need your help. Wellington City Council is threatening to upgrade their street.

The upgrade would make the narrow footpaths between Ghuznee and Vivian St two metres wider, relieving the pedestrian traffic jams that occur at peak times, and creating space for al fresco dining. It would also add extra loading zones for delivery vehicles. 

But at what cost? In the name of green, woke idealism, this plan will put every business on Cuba Street at risk, because it will remove 20 on-street car parks. It will choke the life out of the street and make it impossible for customers to access the shops. 

People don’t go to Cuba Street because it’s a pedestrian-friendly, vibrant and interesting place to spend time. They go there because of the plentiful and convenient car parking. In the morning and evening rush hour, pedestrians go out of their way to walk along Cuba Street, because they love the resplendent views of 2016 Subaru Outbacks idling beside them.

This is what the savvy business owners of upper Cuba Street understand, and the out of touch council simply don’t: trying to increase foot traffic in a shopping district is a fool’s errand. People don’t shop in retail and hospitality businesses, cars do. Some “policy analysis” at our national transport agency might argue pedestrians shop more frequently and spend proportionately more money than any other transport mode. But that is plainly ridiculous. If those pedestrians can afford to go to cafes, why can’t they afford a car? 

Sure, pedestrian-friendly shopping areas might work in Amsterdam, or Copenhagen, or London, or Dublin, or New York, or Paris, or Melbourne, or Sydney, or in Wellington slightly further down the exact same street, but this part of Cuba Street is different. It won’t work here. 

Running a successful retail or hospitality business without publicly-provided car parking is as impossible as running a supermarket with a bike lane outside it. Cities aren’t about experience or connections. They aren’t about friends meeting up for coffee, chatting and laughing, enjoying the sights and dawdling around a bunch of shops. They are an interconnected network of parking spaces for SUVs. 

Some Cuba Street business owners are fighting back. They’ve launched a campaign called “Park It: Stop the removal of Cuba Street Car Parks”, with a petition and posters in their shop windows. The petition was started by Karl Tiefenbacher, narrow loser of the Lambton Ward by-election and owner of Kaffee Eis, the third-best ice cream shop on Cuba Street. Tiefenbacher is well-accustomed to being knocked around by the cruel powers of government. In his own words, he only lost the by-election because 18-year-old students are allowed to vote. A couple of years earlier, he was forced to close his Oriental Parade shop because of greedy employees demanding the minimum wage.

According to the petition, the wider footpaths and slightly fewer car parks would “represent a real threat to the survival of many of the businesses in the immediate area”. Among the businesses that have joined the campaign are several cafes, a bar, a bookshop, an op shop, a jeweller, two barbers and a lawnmower shop (why is there a lawnmower shop on Cuba Street?).

Cuba Street businesses with Park It campaign posters in their windows. (Photos: Joel MacManus)

The Park It posters were on full display last weekend at CubaDupa, when the entire Cuba Street precinct and most adjacent streets were blocked off to all vehicle traffic. The festival drew a crowd of 120,000 people, who presumably were all very frustrated at the lack of parking available. If those additional 20 car parks on upper Cuba Street had been open, there’s no telling how much it would have skyrocketed the attendance. It could have been as high as 120,020. 

That begs the question: where did the other 120,000 people at CubaDupa park their cars? Maybe they parked slightly further away from their destination. Perhaps they parked in one of the 14 parking buildings within a 500m radius of Cuba Street. In theory, they could have walked, biked or taken public transport, but that seems a bit far-fetched. 

To truly realise the great economic potential of Cuba Street as a premium shopping destination, we must prioritise the most efficient form of transport for dense urban centres in the 21st century: the automobile. 

Cuba Street is the jewel in Wellington’s crown. When tourists come to Wellington, Cuba Street is always at the top of their bucket list, because of its famous car parking facilities. A Cuba Street without on-street parking is unimaginable. We must fight this upgrade with bloodied hands.

‘Hutt Valley, Kāpiti, down to the south coast. Our Wellington coverage is powered by members.’
Joel MacManus
— Wellington editor
But wait there's more!