spinofflive
Scotty Morrison Māori Made Easy
Scotty Morrison Māori Made Easy

BooksDecember 20, 2018

The second best book of 2018: Māori Made Easy 2 by Scotty Morrison

Scotty Morrison Māori Made Easy
Scotty Morrison Māori Made Easy

All week this week we count down the five best books of 2018. Number two: Leonie Hayden reviews the text book Māori Made Easy 2 by Scotty Morrison.

This is about Scotty Morrison’s Māori Made Easy 2. This is not about Scotty Morrison’s Māori Made Easy 2.

It’s about te reo Māori, and the hole carved into me by the lack of it. It’s about those of us without it, the loose threads waiting to be woven back into the fabric of our culture.

Week 31: how to use ‘wareware’
E kore rātou e warewaretia. They will never be forgotten.

I have a small kete of language, but I don’t have enough; I want more; I want to cram it into myself like an overstuffed clothes hamper; to hoard it like gold.

When you’re a student of te reo Māori, there’s never enough. There is so much to fit in, it falls out again. Through kōhanga reo, high school and more recently two years’ study at AUT, I have struggled to push new verbs through the wet cement of my brain. Stative verbs, passive verbs. A new way of hearing and framing. Every new understanding is overshadowed by the dark grey fog on the horizon just ahead – beyond it I can’t see a thing. If only I knew how to read the wind and the waves, navigate by the stars!

Sometimes it feels less like something I never learned, and more like something I forgot. I can see outlines through the fog. I often get headaches.

Māori Made Easy. Its cheery name belies the universe of pain and hope this small blue book holds within it. There is no such thing as easy when you have been robbed of a birthright, had it plucked out of your family tree like a ripe karaka berry, and then had someone salt the ground it grew in.

Week 37: answering why? questions
He aha koe i haere ai? Why did you go?

Nothing can make learning te reo Māori easy, except growing up in a home where it is spoken from birth. Once that possibility is gone, it’s only Māori Made Fucking Hard. In what other situation do you have to unlearn to learn? I’ve watched classmates nearly in tears because the pronunciation of the word ‘ko’ keeps coming out as ‘co’, as in co-signing a Treaty, cooperation in growing a country. It’s ‘core’ the teacher says gently, as in apple. ‘Co’ wai koe? Who are you? It’s ‘core’ the teacher says gently, again, as in apple. Why is it still coming out as ‘co’ (incoherent, co-dependent)? When did the neurological pathways calcify to the point that we can’t repeat a sound we’ve just heard?

Because it’s a not a sound, it’s the total belief that how we’ve been saying Rotorua, Tauranga, Mangawhai, Rangitoto all this time was right. The monoculture is king here in your synapses; colonisation gave it authority a long time ago. The cement in our brains is a statue to Captain Cook and blunt English vowels.

Week 46: when to use ‘hei’
Hei aha to māripi? What is the knife for?
Hei tapahi. To cut.

My grandparents were beaten for speaking te reo, and I have taken that patu and beat myself over and over again, for the shame of my inadequacy. What a legacy! What a gift for colonisation – hand them the switch and they’ll beat their own backs!

The Māori word for shame ‘whakamā’ also means ‘to whiten’. Every learner of te reo Māori I know toils under its weight, but it’s especially heavy for Māori. I am Māori, but am I Māori enough?

Week 49: how to use ‘taihoa’
Taihoa koe e kōrero. Don’t you speak yet.

When I speak my language, it is a crude drawing compared to the intricate whakairo of a native speaker. It is inadequate and often leaves me dumb and mute. But there is pride, te kakano, a seedling, in repeating the names of my maunga, awa, hapū, iwi. I felt myself flush from head to toe when I understood a joke made at a hui recently. Hot and numb with pride, I laughed far too long. But so quickly it was replaced by incomprehension and I was mute again.

In the meantime, I’ll sing. I’ve been gifted so many songs, and they come out whole. Stories and sentences are mine when I sing. When I sing I forget I can’t speak.

Week 58: asking for and giving directions
Me haere ki hea? Where shall I go?

Google ‘te reo Māori journey’ and you’ll find stories of Māori and non-Māori on a hīkoi together, all over the country – Guyon Espiner, Jenny-May Clarkson, Jennifer Ward-Lealand. What better analogy? Inch by inch towards a promised land, the grey fog rolling further back with every step.

Scotty Morrison did not have te reo from birth – he learned at teacher’s training college, and learned and learned and learned. And although I am not 19 years old with my life ahead of me, it’s something I hold fast to (Week 58: He ua ki te pō, he paewai ki te ao. Rain at night, eels in the day). I see now why he has told us it can be made easy – journeys are made with single steps. Page by page, half an hour a day, five days a week. All of a sudden, you’re further up the road.

This time next year I will be preparing to drop out of the work force to study te reo Māori full time for a year. That is the goal I have set for 2020, barring any immovable objects that stand in my way. It will feel strange and uncomfortable. But that feeling has accompanied every good thing I’ve done; it is how I know I’m doing something that will make me grow. I will have this small blue book beside me, and the small green one that came before it. Tools for a thing not easy, but right. I will study their pages and speak in broken te reo Māori to my classmates and we will feel shy and inadequate together. And slowly we will rip up the cement and plant something in the soil underneath.

Previously:

The fifth best book of 2018: My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

The fourth best book of 2018: Simple by Yotam Ottolenghi

The third best book of 2018: Calypso by David Sedaris


Māori Made Easy 2: For everyday learners by Scotty Morrison (Penguin, $38) is available at Unity Books.

Keep going!
david sedaris

BooksDecember 19, 2018

The third best book of 2018: Calypso by David Sedaris

david sedaris

All week this week we count down the five best books of 2018. Number three: Peter Wells reviews Calypso by David Sedaris.

Many people know the sound of David Sedaris’s voice – high, thin, a drizzle of ironic sound. He himself says he has a “lady voice” and part of his shtick is being mistaken for a woman on the phone. He is now a major writing star and he talks, in an offhand way, of touring 49 cities in 49 days. He speaks to auditoriums of around 2000 people in places like Brazil. But his most resonant memory of public speaking, in Calypso, is experiencing explosive diarrhoea and living in terror that he would shit his pants on stage. This mix of queasy shame and an endearingly personal tone – he makes it funny – is Sedaris’s brand and it has lasted him exceptionally well in book after book.

Calypso is a collection of essays, many drawn from sources like The New Yorker. I’m such a fan that I’d already read probably three quarters of this book. As with his other books, we get to know his family intimately, in essay after essay, seeing them from different points of the prism so they are revealed in new ways. The key event that underlies the sombre hue of this book, however, is the suicide of his sister Tiffany. It’s hard to make suicide into a comic routine. Sedaris doesn’t, thank god, attempt this but his humour nibbles at the edges of the way each member of the family deals with a sister and daughter who so adamantly turned her back on all their accrued wit and charm.

He himself recalls her screaming at him “go away and do some of your faggot writing”. In turn he remembers asking a security guard to shut the door in her face. There’s a sense of unpaid debts here, being paid out or spelled out in public. That Sedaris makes the material rueful rather than tragic or sentimental is part of his mastery of comic art. Tiffany was the one member of his family who inexplicably fell through all the middle-class apparatus that Sedaris himself tells us he assumed would keep them all safe. She blew inheritances, had substance abuse issues, ended up living in temporary accommodation in a room. Her body lay undiscovered for a number of days.

Sedaris, with that light ironic voice, humanises the dilemma and we see how the family as a unit (of originally six children) deal with it, mainly by talking. In some ways the Sedaris family remind me of JD Salinger’s fictional Glass family, all light humour with an undertone of tragedy.

Another thing that threads through this book is Sedaris’s loving relationship with his mother, now deceased. As with so many gay men, his father (still alive) was a bit of a monster, but his mother was a mass of charm and there’s a lovely scene when he acknowledges he picked up his story telling skills from his mother.  Whereas the father tramped off after the family meal the kids all sat round the table vying for the attention of their cigarette-smoking, steadily-drinking mother. “Her speciality was the real-life story, perfected and condensed.”

David, second from left, and his family (Sedaris family collection)

This is another hue within the book. Sedaris comes to terms with the fact his beloved mother was actually an alcoholic, and her life coarsened as she got older. He asks why nobody in the family asked her to stop.

These are the sort of questions all families ask – afterwards. Sedaris loves his family, even his father who is now in his nineties, frail and still a fervid Republican. Sedaris buys a holiday home so they can all be together. He replicates the family home so they can hang, but he takes over one part of the house for him and his partner Hugh (all mood lighting and tasteful mid-centruy furniture) while the rest of the family live in Big Save surroundings. This is a very touching aspect of Calypso, the way the Glass family, sorry, the Sedaris family display their inner fabulosity. Each one has something smart to say at the appropriate moment but there is nothing smartarse about these flawed humans. It’s a very delicate balancing act, and at times each member of the family appears both vulnerable and naked – but wisecracking at the same time, as a way to get over what is bothering them. Isn’t that what humour is, after all? Making a joke out of what is unpalatable.

Is the book funny? Oh yes, you can rely on the usual explosive gulps at his sheer outrageousness – the way he matches the ordinary with the unbelievable. One example of this is a small tumour he has cut off in macabre circumstances by someone he met at a book reading. He feeds the remains of the tumour to a turtle he’s very fond of – one with a deformed head.

This is the essence of Sedaris – he takes you on a trip, it’s beautifully detailed, its slightly unbelievable as in all tall stories, maybe even a little macabre, but it also has a baseline of human truth. Calypso is a nuanced book, and Sedaris still presents himself as the frail, balding, lady-voiced homosexual who now lives in Sussex and goes out each evening to pick up rubbish tossed out of passing cars. He’s kind of a crank, a nice cheery friendly crank and he knows it. But there’s also an element of melancholy grace here. We see this with his encounter with a fox, who he interacts with and who takes to following him at night. The fox is always a little ahead of him as if showing him the way. She turns up almost magically yet she never looks him in the eye.

There’s something so lovely here and you can’t help but feel, as a reader, you do the same – accompanying Sedaris on his way, never too close, not too far, but always in a beautiful proximity wherein you’re going to hear a real-life story, perfected and condensed.

Previously:

The fifth best book of 2018: My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

The fourth best book of 2018: Simple by Yotam Ottolenghi


Calypso by David Sedaris (LittleBrown, $35) is available at Unity Books.